Comment from ~Dovey

Excellent

Craig!

Ewwww!!! lol Homemade Apple Charlotte? Did I say "Ewwwww"!!

Actually, you Psycho, this is very well written. I took just two notes:

We take possession of the Motel on 17th. (the 17th?)

What are Oenida knives and forks?

Great job! Good luck in the contest!

Kim

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 Comment Written 09-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 09-Apr-2016

Hi Dovey,

I've inserted the missing "the" - thanks! Also, Oenida is a typo - I don't know how you didn't know that! ;-)

It's actually Oneida, which is a brand of silverware, and I've added an author note to explain that.

Thanks for the tips!

Craig :)

reply by ~Dovey on 09-Apr-2016

I thought it was probably Oneida, but I wasn't sure if it was a typo or an Aussie brand lol (I was giving you the benefit of the doubt) ;)

Comment from DonandVicki

Excellent

I did not know that Carl Sagan wrote fiction. Your story also reminded me a lot of the thriller "Psycho" A very exciting flash fiction. Well done.

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 Comment Written 08-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 09-Apr-2016

Thanks, DonandVicki, for reviewing my story. It was indeed based on Psycho - as a prequel. Sagan did write some fiction, but the book I quoted from isn't fiction. Cheers, Craig