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Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Franklin S. T. DePeteet"
These are fictional character sketches.

20 total reviews 
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Excellent
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Hi Bill - this is another good one of yours and an amusing read. It made me chuckle. It seems to me Franklin is just a dirty old man LOL. I love the names you give these characters of yours. A good read. Warm regards Dorothy x

 Comment Written 25-Nov-2015


reply by the author on 25-Nov-2015
    Thank you, Dorothy, fir the upbeat and complimentary review. Bill
Comment from Jay Squires
Excellent
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Oh, dear me. I understand the first and the third stanza and haven't a clue what's going on in the second. The two that give me the most grief are:

Drinkin' spurs 'is lust fer lovin'

and the horizontaw shovin'

Sorry, Bill. Dang it!

 Comment Written 23-Nov-2015


reply by the author on 24-Nov-2015
    Thank you, Jay, for pointing out what may be too cloaked in gimmick to see.

    Drinkin' spurs 'is lust fer lovin'
    Drinking spurs his lust for loving

    and the horizontaw shovin'
    and the horizontal shoving

    Hope this helps. Bill
reply by Jay Squires on 24-Nov-2015
    Indeed it does, Bill. It was probably just me.
Comment from krys123
Excellent
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Bill;
-another poem that had made me laugh from your very astute imagination which to me is very inventive and ingeniously creative.
- your imagery is exquisitely expressive and vividly descriptive throughout your writing.
-your rhyming words were contingent to the meaning and concept of each line therefore making the rhythm the flow smoothly.
- your resume cadence, timing and tempo were all helpful in making your reading clear, fluid and easy.
-I never heard of the word cheroot before and thank you for sharing your authors notes which was very helpful and me determining your writing.
- and thank you for sharing and posting this Bill and may the good Lord be with you always.
Alex

 Comment Written 23-Nov-2015


reply by the author on 24-Nov-2015
    Thank you, Alex, for the terrific review. Bill
reply by krys123 on 24-Nov-2015
    You are so very welcome Bill.
    Alex
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Excellent
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LOL! You've done it again, Bill. You should make a book of these, you're so good at it. I like the rhyming pattern you use, too.

 Comment Written 23-Nov-2015


reply by the author on 23-Nov-2015
    Thank you, Phyllis, for the great review. Your acknowledgement is humbling and, with forty of these, I probably will give it a run. Bill
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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You've introduced a great feel of the colloquial into your almost modern version of Canterbury tales. The story/poem is very good, the swinging into the vernacular is clever and effective. The aaab rhyming is great also, with a rhythmic quality, well done, blessings, Roy

 Comment Written 23-Nov-2015


reply by the author on 23-Nov-2015
    Thank you, Roy, for giving this a look and for the encouraging review. Bill
reply by royowen on 23-Nov-2015
    Most welcome Bill
Comment from prettybluebirds
Excellent
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Excellent. LOL! I found this poem hilarious. The misspelled words only made it more enjoyable. Loved the ending. It may have been a little far out but it is great. Good work.

 Comment Written 23-Nov-2015


reply by the author on 23-Nov-2015
    Thank you, PBB, for giving this a look and for the excellent review. Bill
Comment from alvina224224
Excellent
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Had to grin at this one. I know a lot of publishers frown at vernacular, but to me, it gives far more image to the speaker. Using vernacular as the only identifier, you can write pages, chapters, even books without so much as a 'he said' or 'she said' I had no problem understanding the narrative.

 Comment Written 23-Nov-2015


reply by the author on 23-Nov-2015
    Thank you, Alvina, for the excellent review. Bill
Comment from Spiritual Echo
Excellent
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I laughed at the dialect/slang but it sounded more like bragging more than any poetic theme--or justification for sleeping around. It was fun, what the hell.

 Comment Written 23-Nov-2015


reply by the author on 23-Nov-2015
    Thank you, Ingrid, for giving this a look. Bill
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Excellent
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A humorous poem about men that fall prey to the woman of the streets. When drinking awakens the lust for loving. It can end up one of two ways either dead or married to one of these woman

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 Comment Written 23-Nov-2015


reply by the author on 23-Nov-2015
    Thank you, Sandra, for giving this a look. Bill
Comment from Wabigoon
Excellent
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Bill-
This poem caused an internal debate regarding its score in me. I really like your lingo and the fun of figurin out wat yr sayin. At first I understood the ending to be the end of Franklin by a "bloody knife" and rather liked that more than the "butter knife" so I decided.

Thanks, really enjoyed this. First poem of yours I've encountered.
Wabigoon/Jeff

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 Comment Written 23-Nov-2015


reply by the author on 23-Nov-2015
    Thank you, Jeff, for giving this a look. I think Franklin survives with more notches than wood. Bill