net
an experiment20 total reviews
Comment from Adri7enne
It sure has great rhythm, Steve. This is the second review I write for this post. In doing the first one, the site froze up completely and I had to get off site completely and return to it. What a nuissance. However, to repeat what I wrote earlier, I agree with you about rules and free verse. Where else is a poet to exercise true creativity if not in free verse?
Free, unleashed and unbound, and this is a fine example. Loved it.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2015
  |
It sure has great rhythm, Steve. This is the second review I write for this post. In doing the first one, the site froze up completely and I had to get off site completely and return to it. What a nuissance. However, to repeat what I wrote earlier, I agree with you about rules and free verse. Where else is a poet to exercise true creativity if not in free verse?
Free, unleashed and unbound, and this is a fine example. Loved it.
Comment Written 24-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2015
-
Adrienne, thanks for the kind words and the six stars.
My view would be that free verse can do pretty much anything as long as it doesn't have regular rhyme (i.e. a fixed scheme) or meter.
This had so much rhyme, though - I wanted to try this particular way of letting the words stream, almost letting the sound dictate the direction..... My only problem was it wanted to keep going and very easily could have, so I had to rein it in somewhere and force it back to where it started.
Going to try it again soon...
Steve
Comment from trimple
Hello there, Steve
You have created a wonderful free verse that bounces beautifully throughout.
A net that stretches and keeps us all knitted together as the human race, regardless of where and what you are.
A poem that is very timely.
Shame about the ruling, Steve. This would have been right up there.
Kind regards
trimple
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2015
 |
Hello there, Steve
You have created a wonderful free verse that bounces beautifully throughout.
A net that stretches and keeps us all knitted together as the human race, regardless of where and what you are.
A poem that is very timely.
Shame about the ruling, Steve. This would have been right up there.
Kind regards
trimple
Comment Written 24-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2015
-
Thanks,, Tracy - glad you enjoyed.
Haven't seen you around much lately...
Steve
-
Hi, Steve
I know, I'v been suffering from a serious bout of writer's blockage.
I also cannot stand the new site, which is such a shame as I love the interaction and learning here.
Still. I'm back for a bit and have written a couple pieces, hoping the ole juices might flow again.
We'll see :)
Hope all's well with you, my friend, in Kiwi land.
The review was a pleasure :)
Pop by when you have a mo.
lotsa love
tracey :)
-
Lots of people still use the old site, but I made a decision to stick with the new one - there have been quite a few improvements already.
I know what you mean about writers' block - I have reviewers' block at the moment - just can't bring myself to review the stuff I'm seeing!
Steve
-
Lots of people still use the old site, but I made a decision to stick with the new one - there have been quite a few improvements already.
I know what you mean about writers' block - I have reviewers' block at the moment - just can't bring myself to review the stuff I'm seeing!
Steve
-
Oh shit!
I've tried the new one, Steve, but I simply find it dreadful :(
you say...
' I have reviewers' block at the moment - just can't bring myself to review the stuff I'm seeing!
Oh shit!
That doesn't say much for my posts LOL
OO just looked, I'm not on your fan base... Meh that'l be why then :) LOL
kind regards
tracey :)
Comment from Mark Valentine
I love the theme and have written a few poems (though none as good as this) that focus on the common thread that ties us all together. this one had a rap-like rhythm and rhyme pattern to it, while at the same time feeling classic and timeless. It starts out strong "connected subjected to living and dead with unbreakable thread" and doens't lose any steam throughout the whole run. And the "we have never met" bookends reinforce the message perrfectly.
Sorry I don't have a six to properly reward this.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2015
|
I love the theme and have written a few poems (though none as good as this) that focus on the common thread that ties us all together. this one had a rap-like rhythm and rhyme pattern to it, while at the same time feeling classic and timeless. It starts out strong "connected subjected to living and dead with unbreakable thread" and doens't lose any steam throughout the whole run. And the "we have never met" bookends reinforce the message perrfectly.
Sorry I don't have a six to properly reward this.
Comment Written 24-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2015
-
Mark, thanks for the great review and the virtual six. This 'streaming' verse is something new for me - I'm glad you enjoyed.
Steve
Comment from Nosha17
I don't like free verse, as I am sure most people know by now, I like structured poetry best. However by having rhyme interspersed as in your poem it certainly enhances it. There are far too many free verse contests on this site-I remember some of your rhyming contest poems-rhyming quatrains, I never see any nowadays. I am not sure if you meant the internet, sorry if I am mistaken. Your words certainly did pour out-well chosen words and rhymes. Interesting imagery. Faye
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2015
|
I don't like free verse, as I am sure most people know by now, I like structured poetry best. However by having rhyme interspersed as in your poem it certainly enhances it. There are far too many free verse contests on this site-I remember some of your rhyming contest poems-rhyming quatrains, I never see any nowadays. I am not sure if you meant the internet, sorry if I am mistaken. Your words certainly did pour out-well chosen words and rhymes. Interesting imagery. Faye
Comment Written 24-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2015
-
Thanks, Faye.
Like you, I started out as a strict rhyme and meter poet, although I am starting to try a few different styles now. At least FanStory still has room for some traditional verse - I find that almost every other poetry contest ot journal accepting submissions, is dominated by free verse, even when they say all types of verse accepted.
Steve
Steve
Comment from humpwhistle
Funny you should bring this up, Steve. I've been thinking of coining a new word, or phrase to denote 'net-mates'--people we know, but have never met. I think it's time for such a word. Just as I am certain I am of the wrong generation to author such a phrase. For all I know, the phrase may already exist.
I like your streaming words. Free verse is at its best when the words bounce and play among each other.
We've never met. But we meet.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2015
|
Funny you should bring this up, Steve. I've been thinking of coining a new word, or phrase to denote 'net-mates'--people we know, but have never met. I think it's time for such a word. Just as I am certain I am of the wrong generation to author such a phrase. For all I know, the phrase may already exist.
I like your streaming words. Free verse is at its best when the words bounce and play among each other.
We've never met. But we meet.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 24-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2015
-
Thanks, Lee - netmates it shall be - now we just have to get the other few billion people to use it!
Steve
-
Actually, netmates conjures a picture of a bunch of loonies all caught up in the same butterfly net. Hey, maybe that does work!
Comment from PoemsOfDD
A solid write. I like the depth to this poem and the message that it portrays. Just a small observation that only affects me - even though a picture is attached to match the title of the poem it also lends itself to conjuring up fish.
Having said that I did enjoy your poem and thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2015
|
A solid write. I like the depth to this poem and the message that it portrays. Just a small observation that only affects me - even though a picture is attached to match the title of the poem it also lends itself to conjuring up fish.
Having said that I did enjoy your poem and thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 24-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2015
-
Thank you!
Steve
Comment from writeapoem
I enjoyed the poem and the descriptions of the many connections we have and never met, yet we will meet standing in the judgement knee bowed and tongue loosened. All the best for a nicely written poem
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2015
|
I enjoyed the poem and the descriptions of the many connections we have and never met, yet we will meet standing in the judgement knee bowed and tongue loosened. All the best for a nicely written poem
Comment Written 24-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2015
-
Thank you!
Steve
Comment from Tessa Kay
There's an adjective feast. I had to read this twice. To me, this is about how humans are all connected. We're all one family, 'in a net' so to speak.
That being the case, it's crazy how we fight against each other and destroy each other's habitat. How much better to try and make each other 'glisten'.
What a shame you couldn't enter this into the contest. Ah well.
:)
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2015
|
There's an adjective feast. I had to read this twice. To me, this is about how humans are all connected. We're all one family, 'in a net' so to speak.
That being the case, it's crazy how we fight against each other and destroy each other's habitat. How much better to try and make each other 'glisten'.
What a shame you couldn't enter this into the contest. Ah well.
:)
Comment Written 24-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2015
-
Thanks, Tessa - glad you enjoyed this and found a orthwhile message in it.
Steve
Comment from Brett Matthew West
So glad someone understands that Free Verse can have rhyme. Use it all the time in my poetry and constantly get called out about it. This well written poem clearly depicts that even though you have not met the target of your writing all of us are interconnected.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2015
|
So glad someone understands that Free Verse can have rhyme. Use it all the time in my poetry and constantly get called out about it. This well written poem clearly depicts that even though you have not met the target of your writing all of us are interconnected.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2015
-
Thanks, Brett!
Steve
Comment from rama devi
Of course free verse can have rhyme, dear Steve...just not a structured metered rhyme scheme! I wasn't planning to review just now (spaced out!) but I read this oneand really liked it. great flow and well timed random rhymes...sounds good read aloud. And, of course, the theme is right on the mark about NET.
Love the phrasing phonetics...especially things like connected and subjected and how they are in assonance and consonance harmony with net and yet.
Love this:
stretched and perplexed
considered, configured
elemental but gentle
and this:
insisting they glisten
by starlight
in far night
where words they have written
like birds in a garden (NICE SIMILE)
fly out of the willow
to flitter and pardon (nice word choices)
Love the bookend device as well, with repeats in opening and closing.
Bravo...a six for you! Oops--none left, alas. But a virtual one ******
Love,
rd
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2015
|
Of course free verse can have rhyme, dear Steve...just not a structured metered rhyme scheme! I wasn't planning to review just now (spaced out!) but I read this oneand really liked it. great flow and well timed random rhymes...sounds good read aloud. And, of course, the theme is right on the mark about NET.
Love the phrasing phonetics...especially things like connected and subjected and how they are in assonance and consonance harmony with net and yet.
Love this:
stretched and perplexed
considered, configured
elemental but gentle
and this:
insisting they glisten
by starlight
in far night
where words they have written
like birds in a garden (NICE SIMILE)
fly out of the willow
to flitter and pardon (nice word choices)
Love the bookend device as well, with repeats in opening and closing.
Bravo...a six for you! Oops--none left, alas. But a virtual one ******
Love,
rd
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2015
-
Thanks, Rama.
This is a bit new for me, but I did read it aloud to my wife and she loved it and you are right - it sounds good.
Steve
-
So nice you read it to her! :)
