Time Keeps Ticking
Our lives are measured in the ticks of the clock.17 total reviews
Comment from Brett Matthew West
And once the ticks are gone, c'est la vie! You can never get them back. And, that is all she wrote. Well written poem about a fact of life that should also be a good contest entry.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015
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And once the ticks are gone, c'est la vie! You can never get them back. And, that is all she wrote. Well written poem about a fact of life that should also be a good contest entry.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015
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Brett, thank you for reviewing my poem and the well wishes for the contest. Today, my 86 year old mom is
healthy and doing fine. I will miss her when she is gone but I know where I will find her in the final end.
Comment from Nosha17
That must be a very difficult time for you, watching and waiting for your beloved mother to come round and recover. You have captured the essence of the dragging time well, with good descriptions and well chosen words. Good luck in the contest. Faye
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015
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That must be a very difficult time for you, watching and waiting for your beloved mother to come round and recover. You have captured the essence of the dragging time well, with good descriptions and well chosen words. Good luck in the contest. Faye
Comment Written 11-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015
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Thank you Faye for your kind comments and well wishes.
Jo
Comment from Sis Cat
This is an excellent poem that reminded me of the loss of my mother. Yes, the clock keeps ticking, which is why we should enjoy every moment with family and friends. I felt like I was there in that hospital. In fact, I have been there with many family and friends. You have a great sense of details and nuanced thoughts about the preciousness of time.
One possible spag. For clarification of "It's sound..." did you contract "it is" or are you trying to use the possessive "its" without the apostrophe?
This is compelling writing. thank you for sharing. I wish you success in the contest.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015
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This is an excellent poem that reminded me of the loss of my mother. Yes, the clock keeps ticking, which is why we should enjoy every moment with family and friends. I felt like I was there in that hospital. In fact, I have been there with many family and friends. You have a great sense of details and nuanced thoughts about the preciousness of time.
One possible spag. For clarification of "It's sound..." did you contract "it is" or are you trying to use the possessive "its" without the apostrophe?
This is compelling writing. thank you for sharing. I wish you success in the contest.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015
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Thank you SisCat for reading and commenting on my poem and for catching my SPAG. I will correct. My mom
today at 86 is doing just fine. The thought of losing her still overwhelms me. I am sorry for the loss of your mom.
Jo
Comment from robyn corum
Wow. This is spectacular. I love it. As I read, I couldn't help but think of my own mom. She's (just) 71 years old and doing great, but time IS passing and I can't imagine a world where her heart isn't beating. Thanks for sharing this. If you don't mind...I think I'll keep it...?
Bless you -- robyn
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015
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Wow. This is spectacular. I love it. As I read, I couldn't help but think of my own mom. She's (just) 71 years old and doing great, but time IS passing and I can't imagine a world where her heart isn't beating. Thanks for sharing this. If you don't mind...I think I'll keep it...?
Bless you -- robyn
Comment Written 10-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015
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Robyn, of course, you may keep my poem. Yes, time is passing for all of us. My mom is 86 now and doing fine.
The thought of losing her still overwhelms me. When I retired from nursing last year my husband an I moved
next door to her. We see her every day now. I'm loving it.
Jo
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Wonderful! Lucky you! (AND her!) *smile*
Comment from Ben Colder
This is an interesting poem. It brings life to the now while hearing time steal away your moments on earth. Best to you in the contest.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015
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This is an interesting poem. It brings life to the now while hearing time steal away your moments on earth. Best to you in the contest.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015
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Thank you, Ben, for reviewing my poem and your well wishes for the contest.
Jo
Comment from anabellapongasi
This is a beautiful and poignant piece. Very well written and it captures perfectly the image of ticking time as one watches his/her mother in a hospital bed. Best to you in the contest with this great entry.
Blessings,
Anabella
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reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015
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This is a beautiful and poignant piece. Very well written and it captures perfectly the image of ticking time as one watches his/her mother in a hospital bed. Best to you in the contest with this great entry.
Blessings,
Anabella
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015
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Anabella, thank you so much for your encouraging comments on my poem.
Jo
Comment from MSJVClarke
This is a very nice poem. Your stanzas transitioned well to tell the intense story of your mother's last minutes. It was easy to envision the scene from the words you chose. I liked that you reiterated with the words ..."The clock keeps ticking." It brought the scene to reality.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015
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This is a very nice poem. Your stanzas transitioned well to tell the intense story of your mother's last minutes. It was easy to envision the scene from the words you chose. I liked that you reiterated with the words ..."The clock keeps ticking." It brought the scene to reality.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015
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Thank you so much for commenting on my poem. I am glad you liked it.