Final Words
Acrostic abbaa cddcc15 total reviews
Comment from bkbehera
It is a impressive piece of work with emotion and deep feeling of longing. Presentation is simple having depth. There is continuity in thought expression
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It is a impressive piece of work with emotion and deep feeling of longing. Presentation is simple having depth. There is continuity in thought expression
Comment Written 22-Jan-2015
Comment from Glasstruth
When it's over, it's over. Strange, how we hold off until the last minute to say what we have to say. Life isn't eternal. Yet, we act as if it is. Nice rhyming. Has an elegance to it in the way you wrote it. Well done. Les
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When it's over, it's over. Strange, how we hold off until the last minute to say what we have to say. Life isn't eternal. Yet, we act as if it is. Nice rhyming. Has an elegance to it in the way you wrote it. Well done. Les
Comment Written 22-Jan-2015
Comment from adewpearl
beautifully presented poem, a solid acrostic for Final Words, which works well as a two stanza poem
good use of abbaa rhyming
intense expression of soulful emotion
a clever and moving entry for this contest
Brooke
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beautifully presented poem, a solid acrostic for Final Words, which works well as a two stanza poem
good use of abbaa rhyming
intense expression of soulful emotion
a clever and moving entry for this contest
Brooke
Comment Written 22-Jan-2015
Comment from Domino 2
I'm sure you know pentameter is a structured syllable emphasis meter with ten syllables a line (five 'metric feet') - as in 'iambic pentameter' ('da-DUM-da-DUM' etc) - but you say there's no meter (which there isn't), so I guess your notes are intentionally cynical. :-)
I wonder if your poem infers this visitor is after an inheritance, in view of their last minute visit.
Your last line depends on the reader's viewpoint, as many believe a spirit goes to a place of love, whereas your words imply it's just a ghost 'with no hands to hold'.
The contest rules are very vague regarding length of the two required stanzas, and you're clever to present as an acrostic with rhyme.
I suspect this will be the winner. ;-)
Good luck and best wishes, Ray
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I'm sure you know pentameter is a structured syllable emphasis meter with ten syllables a line (five 'metric feet') - as in 'iambic pentameter' ('da-DUM-da-DUM' etc) - but you say there's no meter (which there isn't), so I guess your notes are intentionally cynical. :-)
I wonder if your poem infers this visitor is after an inheritance, in view of their last minute visit.
Your last line depends on the reader's viewpoint, as many believe a spirit goes to a place of love, whereas your words imply it's just a ghost 'with no hands to hold'.
The contest rules are very vague regarding length of the two required stanzas, and you're clever to present as an acrostic with rhyme.
I suspect this will be the winner. ;-)
Good luck and best wishes, Ray
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2015
Comment from dmt1967
This is a nice poem. I like the picture and the poem has that eeriness about it as well. It is more like a ghostly love, that's the feeling I get anyway. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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This is a nice poem. I like the picture and the poem has that eeriness about it as well. It is more like a ghostly love, that's the feeling I get anyway. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2015