"OUT OF THE BLUE"
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "~The Awakening~ part 2"A book of short stories.
22 total reviews
Comment from Genya
Another great chapter. Full of tension and suspense as well as being informative as we are beginning to learn more about this great person. Telling a story from the past in this unique way is really interesting. The present with the past. Love the way you have done this. So looking forward to the next part. Genya
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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Another great chapter. Full of tension and suspense as well as being informative as we are beginning to learn more about this great person. Telling a story from the past in this unique way is really interesting. The present with the past. Love the way you have done this. So looking forward to the next part. Genya
Comment Written 15-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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Thank you Genya, for your kind review. I hope you continue to enjoy. There is much to come. :) Mel.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Well to think of a King of England with round worm. I never would have imagined that. I am enjoying what you are doing with this.
I realised the John had hold of me. (that??)
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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Well to think of a King of England with round worm. I never would have imagined that. I am enjoying what you are doing with this.
I realised the John had hold of me. (that??)
Comment Written 15-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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Hi Barbara, yes I would imagine that poor hygiene in the food preparation was to blame. It does seem to answer those reports about his pale face. Thanks again. Mel.
Comment from lancellot
I like it. Are you sure you don't want to list this as Supernatural Fiction?
notes:
a much larger and more complicated device on the table[.]
-add
"Are you alright Julia? {You} swayed and seem out of it."
- Cap
I realised {that} John had hold of me.
- change
["]My early demise had always saddened me.
- add
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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I like it. Are you sure you don't want to list this as Supernatural Fiction?
notes:
a much larger and more complicated device on the table[.]
-add
"Are you alright Julia? {You} swayed and seem out of it."
- Cap
I realised {that} John had hold of me.
- change
["]My early demise had always saddened me.
- add
Comment Written 15-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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Hi Lancellot, thank you for your helpful review. I decided to keep it as general fiction in case it turned away serious reviewers...I've seen to those details. :) Mel.
Comment from PatVallesMangan
Was so pleased to see this! This awesome tale continues. I love how the author uses the notes, (in both pieces that I read,) to fill in both the historical information that we need to process, (and it was certainly researched very well,) as well as the reason for his always noted pallid skin. I'm along for the ride as I told you in my last review and I am also out of 6 star reviews, which this deserves as well! Looking forward! Blessings! Pat :)
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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Was so pleased to see this! This awesome tale continues. I love how the author uses the notes, (in both pieces that I read,) to fill in both the historical information that we need to process, (and it was certainly researched very well,) as well as the reason for his always noted pallid skin. I'm along for the ride as I told you in my last review and I am also out of 6 star reviews, which this deserves as well! Looking forward! Blessings! Pat :)
Comment Written 15-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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Hi Pat, once again thanks for the kind review. I'm so pleased you are following my story. I hope you continue to enjoy... :) Mel.
Comment from Drew Delaney
This is quite a story. I think I will add you to my reading list. Reason being, I love historical fiction. I don't believe in the dead speaking to us through boards and such, but I have had some supernatural things occur to me which piques my interest. Well written.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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This is quite a story. I think I will add you to my reading list. Reason being, I love historical fiction. I don't believe in the dead speaking to us through boards and such, but I have had some supernatural things occur to me which piques my interest. Well written.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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Thank you again Drew. Your views seem to mirror mine. I have experienced things happening, just small things mostly. These go way back.
Richard has a lot more to say in the next part on Fanstory, Friday this week. Kind regards Mel.
Comment from Cosmic2011
Again, I am really enjoying this story. From the reading, I gather that this story is told as though it were written in a publication or journal of science, right? It is a really interesting read, but some parts seem disconnected (like there is not enough information or emotional continuity given about the two main characters). I am looking forward to the next installment! Thanks for sharing this wonderful story.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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Again, I am really enjoying this story. From the reading, I gather that this story is told as though it were written in a publication or journal of science, right? It is a really interesting read, but some parts seem disconnected (like there is not enough information or emotional continuity given about the two main characters). I am looking forward to the next installment! Thanks for sharing this wonderful story.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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Thank you once again Cosmic2011.
You are right, I have adopted a sort of choppy style because this is written as a newspaper report. My concern is that it may provide a distraction to the enjoyment.
I spent the first part establishing the two main characters as I brought King Richard into it. Then Richard takes over the dialogue.
Anyway thanks again. I hope you continue to read and enjoy the coming parts. Regards Mel.
Comment from Jay Squires
A very engaging tale, Mel. Did you ever explain why his remains were in a common cardboard box? I would think that box would be under lock and key!
King Richard's remains. [Suggest you Italicize this.]
Certain archaic words have been substituted for the modern equivalent. [I believe you meant substituted with (or by) the modern equivalent. To use "for" says just the opposite of what you intend.]
Good job, Mel.
Jay
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2014
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A very engaging tale, Mel. Did you ever explain why his remains were in a common cardboard box? I would think that box would be under lock and key!
King Richard's remains. [Suggest you Italicize this.]
Certain archaic words have been substituted for the modern equivalent. [I believe you meant substituted with (or by) the modern equivalent. To use "for" says just the opposite of what you intend.]
Good job, Mel.
Jay
Comment Written 14-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2014
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Thank you Jay. Yes I have explained simply where the box came from.
And done the rest you suggested. I never realised that 'for' in that context really meant the opposite.
Part three is all about Richard's account of the Battle of Bosworth. Hope you enjoy. Out Thursday next. Thanks Mel.
Comment from Michaelk
Great chapter. I started out getting the chills again when you mentioned the recorder, but as it became more of a conversation, that subsided. I like your characters, especially that there is a mixed bag of beliefs. However they all seem to be made into a conduit for Richard to speak. Now that he is doing the talking, he has become the main character. I think it's funny that they have to convince him to tell his story by saying that it' already out there anyway.
Great chapter, I look forward to the next.
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2014
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Great chapter. I started out getting the chills again when you mentioned the recorder, but as it became more of a conversation, that subsided. I like your characters, especially that there is a mixed bag of beliefs. However they all seem to be made into a conduit for Richard to speak. Now that he is doing the talking, he has become the main character. I think it's funny that they have to convince him to tell his story by saying that it' already out there anyway.
Great chapter, I look forward to the next.
Comment Written 14-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2014
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Thank you once again Michaelk.
You are right Richard's story is the prime reason for this writing. He is the main character and has plenty more to say.
Describing the details of his death in combat could be quite an ordeal, (even if you are a spirit) LOL. He may well baulk at the prospect.
I'm pleased you mentioned chills, that means Richard must be getting through, so to speak... Thanks again. :) Mel.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is an excellent write, write hand blue, I enjoyed reading this chapter where we learn of Richard's illness and the history of his reasons for the war. I only spotted one error as I was reading--should be More complicated device instead of More complicate device. I had questioned shinny instead of shiny when it came to the mirror, but it might be different spellings when coming in your dialect.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2014
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this is an excellent write, write hand blue, I enjoyed reading this chapter where we learn of Richard's illness and the history of his reasons for the war. I only spotted one error as I was reading--should be More complicated device instead of More complicate device. I had questioned shinny instead of shiny when it came to the mirror, but it might be different spellings when coming in your dialect.
Comment Written 14-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2014
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Thank you sweetwoodjax, I'm so pleased you are enjoying my story. There is much more to tell. He was a remarkable man and so talkative. LOL
You are right it is shiny (1x n). Part 3 will not be long now.
:) Mel.
Comment from c_lucas
I must congratulate you on your creativity of this write. The thought of being able to into Historical figures in modern time shows your talents as a wordsmith.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2014
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I must congratulate you on your creativity of this write. The thought of being able to into Historical figures in modern time shows your talents as a wordsmith.
Comment Written 14-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2014
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Thank you so much Charlie, you are most kind... :) mel
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You're welcome, Mel. Charlie
