People
Viewing comments for Chapter 47 "Shovel Meyer"These are fictional character sketches.
22 total reviews
Comment from c_lucas
Life can throw vicious curve balls. It is up to the individual to handle them or to give up the game. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a good read.
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2014
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Life can throw vicious curve balls. It is up to the individual to handle them or to give up the game. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a good read.
Comment Written 01-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2014
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Thank you, Charlie, for giving this a look. Bill
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You're welcome, Bill. Charlie
Comment from krys123
Bill, First of all you chosen an appropriate picture for your poem which demonstrates him being tired after one of his stints as a street performer. I found your eyes should be done very well in neither of your rhymes were forced, and labored or strained and new rhythm flowed smoothly throughout your poem which made it easy for me to read your poem clearly. You written about a beautiful experience that I have read like no other. Thank you for sharing them posting this for everyone in the menu had the happiest of weekends.
Alex
reply by the author on 31-May-2014
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Bill, First of all you chosen an appropriate picture for your poem which demonstrates him being tired after one of his stints as a street performer. I found your eyes should be done very well in neither of your rhymes were forced, and labored or strained and new rhythm flowed smoothly throughout your poem which made it easy for me to read your poem clearly. You written about a beautiful experience that I have read like no other. Thank you for sharing them posting this for everyone in the menu had the happiest of weekends.
Alex
Comment Written 31-May-2014
reply by the author on 31-May-2014
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Thank you, Alex, for the terrific review.
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You are so sincerely welcome Bill
Comment from sunnilicious
Great story in a poem. The visual imagery is creative. Well thought out. Nicely written. Good luck in the contest. Have a great weekend :)
reply by the author on 31-May-2014
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Great story in a poem. The visual imagery is creative. Well thought out. Nicely written. Good luck in the contest. Have a great weekend :)
Comment Written 31-May-2014
reply by the author on 31-May-2014
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Thanks for taking a look at this one.
Comment from ravenblack
All that for a measly two dollars. Think he might have to up his game, maybe three cart Monte. Like his name and the sense of a mortician as an exhibitionist- they do show bodies and it does drive the sense of the streets home. Just a few gripes. Under pants should be underpants (if you are speaking of underwear) and juggling limes- it works, but just comes across as done for rhyme.
reply by the author on 31-May-2014
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All that for a measly two dollars. Think he might have to up his game, maybe three cart Monte. Like his name and the sense of a mortician as an exhibitionist- they do show bodies and it does drive the sense of the streets home. Just a few gripes. Under pants should be underpants (if you are speaking of underwear) and juggling limes- it works, but just comes across as done for rhyme.
Comment Written 31-May-2014
reply by the author on 31-May-2014
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You're playing hardball I see. I guess someone could be juggling chainsaws, but limes seemed to nicely fit the probability factor. Thank you for the excellent review. Bill
Comment from Ridley Williams
Hey Bill,
I appreciate this gritty verse from the streets. I guess a guys gotta' do, what a guys gotta' do to survive on the streets, if that's the path you chose. I was injured on my job fifteen years ago. Two years after that, we lost our home. We moved to a friends mining claim on the Yuba River, (No. Cal), lived in a tent for awhile, and started over. My wife took employment at the only establishment for twenty miles... a bar/restaurant/store, and I started looking for gold. We finally bought an old motor home to put on the property, and years later, we now reside in a modest home, (still on the river, however!) It was a tough climb and we're still not all the way back, but you can make it if you try!
Great job with this look at the other side. Your excellent verse and rhyme really brought the theme home...best wishes, Bill
reply by the author on 31-May-2014
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Hey Bill,
I appreciate this gritty verse from the streets. I guess a guys gotta' do, what a guys gotta' do to survive on the streets, if that's the path you chose. I was injured on my job fifteen years ago. Two years after that, we lost our home. We moved to a friends mining claim on the Yuba River, (No. Cal), lived in a tent for awhile, and started over. My wife took employment at the only establishment for twenty miles... a bar/restaurant/store, and I started looking for gold. We finally bought an old motor home to put on the property, and years later, we now reside in a modest home, (still on the river, however!) It was a tough climb and we're still not all the way back, but you can make it if you try!
Great job with this look at the other side. Your excellent verse and rhyme really brought the theme home...best wishes, Bill
Comment Written 31-May-2014
reply by the author on 31-May-2014
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I'm happy to hear read your survivor story and that you are feeling more secure now. Thank you for reading and reviewing this.
Comment from Nosha17
Cute poem about a street entertainer who danced for his supper. Good use of rhyming and language and it was a smooth and enjoyable read. Faye
reply by the author on 31-May-2014
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Cute poem about a street entertainer who danced for his supper. Good use of rhyming and language and it was a smooth and enjoyable read. Faye
Comment Written 31-May-2014
reply by the author on 31-May-2014
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Thank you, Faye, for the excellent review.
Comment from risktaker
I love the picture, the imagery, and the choice of words. the message is clear. the tone, flow, and structure are interesting. I see a homeless person doing a dance for change to get a cop of coffee. I feel the acceptance of this daily routine and the lack of motivation to change it.
reply by the author on 31-May-2014
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I love the picture, the imagery, and the choice of words. the message is clear. the tone, flow, and structure are interesting. I see a homeless person doing a dance for change to get a cop of coffee. I feel the acceptance of this daily routine and the lack of motivation to change it.
Comment Written 31-May-2014
reply by the author on 31-May-2014
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Thank you for the excellent review.
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ok
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ok
Comment from Raphael Montonaro
Well done........very professionally formed....your last lines really hit home...I could tell you have written a lot of poetry! Good writing....Keep going. O, and one more thing, you used your real name.......that's a plus.
reply by the author on 31-May-2014
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Well done........very professionally formed....your last lines really hit home...I could tell you have written a lot of poetry! Good writing....Keep going. O, and one more thing, you used your real name.......that's a plus.
Comment Written 31-May-2014
reply by the author on 31-May-2014
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Thank you for the excellent review.
Comment from Dean Kuch
What an excellent social commentary on urban street performers, Bill. Poor ol' Shovel Meyer, all that work for two measly dollars.
"Today was now his time to shine
Like seagulls on the foamy brine
Like spittle on his dollar wine
He'd do his dance in double time"
Walk down any street, in any big city of almost any civilized nation, and you'll find them there, doing their thing. Piccadilly Circus in London, England, is now partly pedestrianized and a favorite place for people to congregate before going to the nearby shopping and entertainment areas. Soho, Chinatown, Leicester Square and Trafalgar Square are all within walking distance.
Hollywood Blvd., Times Square, there out there if you care enough to find them. The street performer connects with the pedestrian in a unique way: not in the safety of the theater, not in a venue where tickets are taken, and not at a scheduled time. Instead, the performer seeks the audience, and gives the performance first, then hopes for compensation. This puts the onus on the performer to be compelling, original, and brief. In short, the performer has got to have soul. There is no better training ground for future actors and entertainers than the street.
Great work here, Bill!
reply by the author on 31-May-2014
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What an excellent social commentary on urban street performers, Bill. Poor ol' Shovel Meyer, all that work for two measly dollars.
"Today was now his time to shine
Like seagulls on the foamy brine
Like spittle on his dollar wine
He'd do his dance in double time"
Walk down any street, in any big city of almost any civilized nation, and you'll find them there, doing their thing. Piccadilly Circus in London, England, is now partly pedestrianized and a favorite place for people to congregate before going to the nearby shopping and entertainment areas. Soho, Chinatown, Leicester Square and Trafalgar Square are all within walking distance.
Hollywood Blvd., Times Square, there out there if you care enough to find them. The street performer connects with the pedestrian in a unique way: not in the safety of the theater, not in a venue where tickets are taken, and not at a scheduled time. Instead, the performer seeks the audience, and gives the performance first, then hopes for compensation. This puts the onus on the performer to be compelling, original, and brief. In short, the performer has got to have soul. There is no better training ground for future actors and entertainers than the street.
Great work here, Bill!
Comment Written 31-May-2014
reply by the author on 31-May-2014
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Thank you, Dean, for the spectacular review. Bill
Comment from missjosi
Thank you very much, I enjoyed this quirky very cool poem, Im new here and it does say we are supposed to give constructive criticism, however I don't think any is needed here!I loved the fun use of words. This poem is full of color. I like!!!
reply by the author on 31-May-2014
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Thank you very much, I enjoyed this quirky very cool poem, Im new here and it does say we are supposed to give constructive criticism, however I don't think any is needed here!I loved the fun use of words. This poem is full of color. I like!!!
Comment Written 31-May-2014
reply by the author on 31-May-2014
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Thank you, Josi, for giving this a look. Bill
