A Heart so Cold
In the title59 total reviews
Comment from grannyfrannie
Your title (of course) immediately clued us in to the tone of the poem. Your words accomplished the point you wanted to get across to the reader . . . this is a selfish, clueless woman. Sad yet enjoyable read. Thanks you.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2014
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Your title (of course) immediately clued us in to the tone of the poem. Your words accomplished the point you wanted to get across to the reader . . . this is a selfish, clueless woman. Sad yet enjoyable read. Thanks you.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2014
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Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my poem, grannyfranny. I'm so pleased you enjoyed it, even though it was not a nice subject! :) Sandra xsx
Comment from ronnie k
I am really a writer of free verse, mixed rhyme, but who could claim to love poetry and not LOVE the gathering of dancing works that sing in rhyme, love it.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2014
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I am really a writer of free verse, mixed rhyme, but who could claim to love poetry and not LOVE the gathering of dancing works that sing in rhyme, love it.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2014
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That is such a lovely compliment, Ronnie, thank you so very much! :) Sandra. xsx
Comment from Autumn Splendour
Yes, unrequited love is painful but sometimes it's better than getting married to the wrong person.
There's a change of point of view from he to you. This can mar the flow.
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reply by the author on 15-Apr-2014
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Yes, unrequited love is painful but sometimes it's better than getting married to the wrong person.
There's a change of point of view from he to you. This can mar the flow.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2014
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Sorry, I don't understand what you mean. Please could you explain, or look at it, or my other reviews again. Thanks for your comments.
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Sorry for the confusion. What I meant is you started with "He" than you continued with "You". The change in the point of view does affect the flow.
I prefer not to read the comments of others so that I will not be influenced by them. Anyway this is just a suggestion. Don't take it to heart.
Comment from Leineco
Really clearly and concisely said SM -
Her heartlessness was icy
she only played a game
with no regard for his love
she showered him with shame
and when in desolation
he took his life in agony
her only response was laughter;
she never saw the irony
Perhaps the passage of time
will appropriately illuminate
the subtle sense of balance
meted out by fate.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2014
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Really clearly and concisely said SM -
Her heartlessness was icy
she only played a game
with no regard for his love
she showered him with shame
and when in desolation
he took his life in agony
her only response was laughter;
she never saw the irony
Perhaps the passage of time
will appropriately illuminate
the subtle sense of balance
meted out by fate.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2014
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LOL, well done! You should post it. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my poem. xsx Sandra
Comment from LateBloomer
Hello sandramitchill, A sad poem of love rejected. Your rhyming is silky smooth. Of special note:
You didn't even see what you had done
You stole his heart then took away his sun
(Some people are just plain cruel. No wonder why schools are teaching acts of kindness ... something that should be second nature and a behavior learned from parents and adult role models.)
Also:
And then, perchance, you'll come to rue this day
(Sandra, don't count on it. Some people always come out smelling like a rose, and minus the thorns to boot. That's just the way it goes.)
A sad, but thought-provoking piece. Keep the blue waters flowing. LateBloomer
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2014
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Hello sandramitchill, A sad poem of love rejected. Your rhyming is silky smooth. Of special note:
You didn't even see what you had done
You stole his heart then took away his sun
(Some people are just plain cruel. No wonder why schools are teaching acts of kindness ... something that should be second nature and a behavior learned from parents and adult role models.)
Also:
And then, perchance, you'll come to rue this day
(Sandra, don't count on it. Some people always come out smelling like a rose, and minus the thorns to boot. That's just the way it goes.)
A sad, but thought-provoking piece. Keep the blue waters flowing. LateBloomer
Comment Written 15-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2014
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Thank you so much, LateBloomer. Yes, I agree with you, many people live their lives quite oblivious to what they have done or how nasty they can be. :( xsx Sandra. :)
Comment from Robert Lee Brown
This is a good story of one sided love. 1 x 0 = 0. All love affairs can not be equal and perfect. Beautiful mono rhyme. I enjoyed the read. Bob
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2014
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This is a good story of one sided love. 1 x 0 = 0. All love affairs can not be equal and perfect. Beautiful mono rhyme. I enjoyed the read. Bob
Comment Written 14-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2014
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Thank you so much, Bob, I am so pleased you enjoyed this poem.:) Sandra
Comment from Zue65
The poem tugs at the heart and I can feel the pain of the man who was jilted by a heartless woman. There are really insensitive beings around us, and to rise above the pain of a failed love is to move on and forget the woman who doesn't deserve any attention at all. God has a way of punishing people through karma. God sees but He waits for the right time. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2014
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The poem tugs at the heart and I can feel the pain of the man who was jilted by a heartless woman. There are really insensitive beings around us, and to rise above the pain of a failed love is to move on and forget the woman who doesn't deserve any attention at all. God has a way of punishing people through karma. God sees but He waits for the right time. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2014
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I often wonder whether these people realise that one day they will be judged. If everyone knew this, perhaps the world would be a nicer place. Thank you again, Nannus 1957 for another lovely review. :) Sandra
Comment from ELumpkins
Very good piece. It is a love story put to rhyme. Little did she know or care about the heart she broke. The last lines of the piece tell the story very well:
Sometime, perhaps, true love will come your way
And then, perchance, you'll come to rue this day
Be proud
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2014
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Very good piece. It is a love story put to rhyme. Little did she know or care about the heart she broke. The last lines of the piece tell the story very well:
Sometime, perhaps, true love will come your way
And then, perchance, you'll come to rue this day
Be proud
Comment Written 14-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2014
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Thank you so very much for your lovely review, ELumpkins, I am so pleased you enjoyed it. :) Sandra
Comment from Cedar
This is very well written and I love your story in a poem. The way you have rhymed every stanza line makes it even better. The last two lines in stanza four are my favorite. Great job. Bill
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2014
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This is very well written and I love your story in a poem. The way you have rhymed every stanza line makes it even better. The last two lines in stanza four are my favorite. Great job. Bill
Comment Written 14-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2014
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Thank you so very much, Bill. I am delighted that you enjoyed my poem, thank you for the lovely review. xsx sandra
Comment from Selina Stambi
you'll be alone when you grow old .. and well deserved, perhaps!
My lovely Sandra,
You've done it again - iambic pentameter - and this would be a sonnet if not for the extra stanza, monorhyme, etc.
I think you've created your own sonnet form - a SANDNET, perhaps??
What a story - so well expressed. I know some women like that - so not fair, but they end up getting lovely men ... chances are they'll be alone one day, though!
Have a lovely week, my dear friend.
Mwah! :) :)
Sonali
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
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you'll be alone when you grow old .. and well deserved, perhaps!
My lovely Sandra,
You've done it again - iambic pentameter - and this would be a sonnet if not for the extra stanza, monorhyme, etc.
I think you've created your own sonnet form - a SANDNET, perhaps??
What a story - so well expressed. I know some women like that - so not fair, but they end up getting lovely men ... chances are they'll be alone one day, though!
Have a lovely week, my dear friend.
Mwah! :) :)
Sonali
Comment Written 14-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
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Thank you so much, my dear friend, so pleased you liked it. I must remember that there are 3 stanzas in sonnets, Sandnet? Hmm, you might just have invented something there! LOL. xsx Sandra
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Sonnet - 4 quatrains (rhyme scheme depends on the type of sonnet) followed by a rhyming couplet.
Looking forward to more SANDnets, dear! xxx
