Writing Prompt Entries 2014
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Soothed"The clue is in the title!
16 total reviews
Comment from rhonny
your unusual style of poem worked well here as it told us something most of us have found out at some time. crying can help. your simple words worked well.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2014
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your unusual style of poem worked well here as it told us something most of us have found out at some time. crying can help. your simple words worked well.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2014
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Thank you for your great comments. Kindest regards...:)
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:)
Comment from Smoothiecool
great picture
good luck in the contest
your 3-5-3 has the correct components
the three lines and the required syllable count
your words allow the reader to see and feel the tears that sooth
your alignment in spills is a little our and caused a little confusion for me
cheers Smoothiecool
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2014
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great picture
good luck in the contest
your 3-5-3 has the correct components
the three lines and the required syllable count
your words allow the reader to see and feel the tears that sooth
your alignment in spills is a little our and caused a little confusion for me
cheers Smoothiecool
Comment Written 05-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2014
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Hi Smoothiecool, thank you for your great review and good luck wishes. I appreciate both. I'm sorry that the alignment of 'spills' doesn't come over well for you... kindest regards :)
Comment from evrenios
Such a creative way to write this idea! Your first line has 4 syllables, doesn't it? Could you say "valves release?" tp make it 3? Love the way you wrote spill and how you have "pooled" the words "I am soothed" at the end. It satisfies the eyes and the mind as well. I love the metaphor also about crying. This is excellent. Enjoyed it very much!
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2014
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Such a creative way to write this idea! Your first line has 4 syllables, doesn't it? Could you say "valves release?" tp make it 3? Love the way you wrote spill and how you have "pooled" the words "I am soothed" at the end. It satisfies the eyes and the mind as well. I love the metaphor also about crying. This is excellent. Enjoyed it very much!
Comment Written 05-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2014
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Thank you so much for your helpful and encouraging comments. I changed the first line as you suggested... What a silly mistake to have made! Thank you again, I appreciate your help. Kindest regards... :)
Comment from nannabot
Hi, this is a beautiful poem, excellent artwork, and with clever use of shape to emphasise the motion of 'spilling water' I would have really liked to rate this with 6 stars, but I spotted an error in syllable count. Your first line has 4 syllables instead of specified 3. Such a shame as all other aspects of your poem are excellent. Hugs from nannabot. xxxx
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2014
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Hi, this is a beautiful poem, excellent artwork, and with clever use of shape to emphasise the motion of 'spilling water' I would have really liked to rate this with 6 stars, but I spotted an error in syllable count. Your first line has 4 syllables instead of specified 3. Such a shame as all other aspects of your poem are excellent. Hugs from nannabot. xxxx
Comment Written 04-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2014
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Hi Maggy :) Thanks so much for your lovely comments - I especially appreciate you picking up on my daft error with the syllables in the first line! Duh! Anyway, I altered it to fit! Again thanks for your great review, glad you enjoyed the poem :) Hugs x
Comment from BeasPeas
Very nice and so true. Our tears are a release valve for our emotions, a cleansing. Image and presentation work well with your piece. Good job.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2014
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Very nice and so true. Our tears are a release valve for our emotions, a cleansing. Image and presentation work well with your piece. Good job.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2014
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Hi BeasPeas :) Thank you for your lovely review and good luck wishes, I appreciate both! Kindest regards...:)
Comment from mfowler
You have used your strict word budget to great effect here. Your formatting and image give a lot to the overall impression, but your words are skillfully connected as well. I like the 'valve released' metaphor, as it gets straight to the water theme, but also sets the emotional agenda for the crying as the tear spills from the eye. Your final line is lovely in that you suggested release with the valve, and now tears fix your emotion. Strong entry.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2014
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You have used your strict word budget to great effect here. Your formatting and image give a lot to the overall impression, but your words are skillfully connected as well. I like the 'valve released' metaphor, as it gets straight to the water theme, but also sets the emotional agenda for the crying as the tear spills from the eye. Your final line is lovely in that you suggested release with the valve, and now tears fix your emotion. Strong entry.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2014
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Hi mfowler, thank you so much for your wonderfully thorough review. I am thrilled that you got out of my entry all that I put into it! I truly appreciate your comments and encouragement :) Kindest regards...