A Cinderella for Me
Aiden learns a valuable lesson19 total reviews
Comment from Joe Hudson
I love how smooth this reads. Your author voice is easy and allows people to identify with you. Though the story is predictable, it is a message we can all identify with. A nice bit of prose and poetry. Great job!
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
  |
I love how smooth this reads. Your author voice is easy and allows people to identify with you. Though the story is predictable, it is a message we can all identify with. A nice bit of prose and poetry. Great job!
Comment Written 04-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
-
Thanks so much for reading and fine commentary. Predictable, yes. But still a storybook ending that teaches well. I appreciate your words... John
Comment from EMB
This is a charming view of your granddaughter. I've often had to deal with a child in a toy store, and I must admit that no experience remembered is a colorful and positive as this one. So yeah, I'm thinking fiction, but it's a pleasant and refreshing one. :)
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
 |
This is a charming view of your granddaughter. I've often had to deal with a child in a toy store, and I must admit that no experience remembered is a colorful and positive as this one. So yeah, I'm thinking fiction, but it's a pleasant and refreshing one. :)
Comment Written 04-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
-
Yup a little fiction of what we as parents would like to see happen. Thanks for reading... John
Comment from Spitfire
A nice mix of prose and poetry. The story line is predictable, however, but the message in one worth repeating. As a story, it should have conflict and I don't see any here. Everything goes smooth. No obstacles to overcome. Best part in the handbook rule.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
 |
A nice mix of prose and poetry. The story line is predictable, however, but the message in one worth repeating. As a story, it should have conflict and I don't see any here. Everything goes smooth. No obstacles to overcome. Best part in the handbook rule.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
-
Thanks for reading and sharing....
Comment from Sasha
This is so precious. Wonderful story and such an inspiring one too. I enjoyed this very much. Keep up the great work. I found one small spag you may want to look at:
don't run to far ahead..should be 'too' far ahead...
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
|
This is so precious. Wonderful story and such an inspiring one too. I enjoyed this very much. Keep up the great work. I found one small spag you may want to look at:
don't run to far ahead..should be 'too' far ahead...
Comment Written 04-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
-
Thank you Sasha for your time and commentary. Thank you for that correction. John
Comment from Flamingbush
What a sweet story! I like Aiden's heart in reaching out to Avery, whose parents don't have any money for Christmas.
The poems were fun, but my favorite line is "Rule 26.2A from the "Guide to Being the Funnest Grandma" handbook states: "When taking your first grandchild Christmas shopping, Grandma has the right to free the child from the confines of the stroller in order to provide said grandchild freedom to peruse the toy aisle at will"
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
|
What a sweet story! I like Aiden's heart in reaching out to Avery, whose parents don't have any money for Christmas.
The poems were fun, but my favorite line is "Rule 26.2A from the "Guide to Being the Funnest Grandma" handbook states: "When taking your first grandchild Christmas shopping, Grandma has the right to free the child from the confines of the stroller in order to provide said grandchild freedom to peruse the toy aisle at will"
Comment Written 04-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
-
Thank you for reading and sharing with me, it is appreciated. John
Comment from Papabearua
A very good lesson. Children provide great inspiration even when they don't know it. Your story is very well written and heart warming.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
|
A very good lesson. Children provide great inspiration even when they don't know it. Your story is very well written and heart warming.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
-
Thank you so much for reading and sharing. Much appreciated... John
Comment from lakeport
A Cinderella for me indeed, some children can say the most precious things,That's a beautiful story.I enjoyed reading it.God bless you.Lakeport.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
|
A Cinderella for me indeed, some children can say the most precious things,That's a beautiful story.I enjoyed reading it.God bless you.Lakeport.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
-
Thank you Erich for your time and commentary. I just looked at your profile and you are quite the writer. So again thank you for your time. John
-
your welcome,
could you please review my poem"Peaceful Picture,Thank you.Lakeport.
Comment from Selina Stambi
I could feel your precious grandma heart pulsating with every line you wrote.
Lovely story and the poetry enhanced it beautifully!
Merry Christmas, Nana!!
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
|
I could feel your precious grandma heart pulsating with every line you wrote.
Lovely story and the poetry enhanced it beautifully!
Merry Christmas, Nana!!
Comment Written 04-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
-
Thank you nana for reading and sharing. I am actually the Grandpa who wrote the story. My wife doesn't write. Thank you again and Merry Christmas to you as well. John
-
I feel really silly about that error - but it reflects on your wonderful writing skills, gramps! Bless you!
The story was fragrant with thoughts my parents-in-law who were doting first time grandparents.
Comment from Eric Corsten
That's awesome, how you through those rhymes into your story. This makes a great children's story..Hopefully you can put it in a book someday
Da Goose
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
|
That's awesome, how you through those rhymes into your story. This makes a great children's story..Hopefully you can put it in a book someday
Da Goose
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
-
Thank you Goose for reading and fantastic comment. Truly appreciated. John
