Turn the Page
Poem with specific word list16 total reviews
Comment from purrfect tale
A nice look into the day in the life of a family. You did a good job of seamlessly including the required words. Good rhythm and rhyming scheme.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2011
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A nice look into the day in the life of a family. You did a good job of seamlessly including the required words. Good rhythm and rhyming scheme.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2011
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Thank you for your kind review of my poem. I am glad you liked it.
Comment from Simple Reflection
I really liked the poem. I adore pianos and your photograph was an added element! You have several really good lines. I think I enjoyed the last five lines the most - the simile of "moments...like a fine bordeaux" was very expressive. I did stumble with line 7, although I liked meaning of the line. I wonder if it might be able to be rephrased.
My favorite phrases were "Made only finer with age" and "turn the page". Well done! Good luck with the competition!
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reply by the author on 26-Oct-2011
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I really liked the poem. I adore pianos and your photograph was an added element! You have several really good lines. I think I enjoyed the last five lines the most - the simile of "moments...like a fine bordeaux" was very expressive. I did stumble with line 7, although I liked meaning of the line. I wonder if it might be able to be rephrased.
My favorite phrases were "Made only finer with age" and "turn the page". Well done! Good luck with the competition!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2011
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Thank you for the kind review. I am glad you liked my poem. Yes, line 7 was an awkward line for me, too. It was made so long because I was trying to get in all the required words. :o)
If not writing for the contest and just using my "own" words...I think I can make it much simpler. Thank you for the suggestion, it is appreciated.
Comment from elliejean
Making music, no matter how badly, is a great gift for a child. Your aunt sounds like she was a good woman. You did well on this poem. Just loke your family did good for you.
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2011
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Making music, no matter how badly, is a great gift for a child. Your aunt sounds like she was a good woman. You did well on this poem. Just loke your family did good for you.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2011
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Thank you for your kind review of my poem. Yes, I think the banging of that piano is one of my fondest memories. I was one of the rowdy children doing the banging. LOL
Comment from Adri7enne
Good response to the challenge of using that list of words. They all dissapear into your well rhymed poem.
You're rhythm is not always the same, though. 'Bar-B-que and bees" has fewer syllables than your other lines, as one example.
Still, I enjoyed the read.
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2011
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Good response to the challenge of using that list of words. They all dissapear into your well rhymed poem.
You're rhythm is not always the same, though. 'Bar-B-que and bees" has fewer syllables than your other lines, as one example.
Still, I enjoyed the read.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2011
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I'm glad you enjoyed my poem. I wrote it in about 15 minutes this morning before work began. :o) I appreciate the kind review and stars.
Comment from bulbul
Beautiful memories captured by a mind that can wander and drift. The nostalgia locked in the memories being likened to a fine bordeaux with its memories of summer fruit and flowers is specially beautiful. Good poem.
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2011
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Beautiful memories captured by a mind that can wander and drift. The nostalgia locked in the memories being likened to a fine bordeaux with its memories of summer fruit and flowers is specially beautiful. Good poem.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2011
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Thank you for your kind review. I wrote this poem very quickly this morning to "just see if I could". :o) First time I have written with a word list.
Comment from Mary Jane Y
Paints a scene long forgotten.
I was one of 9 children and lived on a farm.
Women in the kitchen busy cooking and the men after a
hard day in the field resting under the old shade tress
in the backyard.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2011
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Paints a scene long forgotten.
I was one of 9 children and lived on a farm.
Women in the kitchen busy cooking and the men after a
hard day in the field resting under the old shade tress
in the backyard.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2011
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Thank you for your kind review of my poem. I am glad it brought back good memories for you.
