White Lightning
Fantasy stallion/ spirit of thunder and lightning20 total reviews
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Helvi what powerful words describing thunder and lighting
Love the idea of the sound of horses hoofs--
awakening my thoughts to withdrawal to a safe or private place
Gert
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Hello Helvi what powerful words describing thunder and lighting
Love the idea of the sound of horses hoofs--
awakening my thoughts to withdrawal to a safe or private place
Gert
Comment Written 30-Sep-2011
Comment from donkeyoatey
Five stars are all I am allowed to give, but I would give ten for this..you have done a superb job with all the descriptions, it paints mind pictures, that one can close their eyes and play against the eyelids! Great feel of thundering, and running..the metaphors abound..I feel as if the storm is running right above me! Donkeyoatey
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2011
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Five stars are all I am allowed to give, but I would give ten for this..you have done a superb job with all the descriptions, it paints mind pictures, that one can close their eyes and play against the eyelids! Great feel of thundering, and running..the metaphors abound..I feel as if the storm is running right above me! Donkeyoatey
Comment Written 30-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2011
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I proudly except your cyber 10 rating...from you it feels as if it were 20! I'm far beyond awestuck NOW! Because I used your work, knowing you liked the words I wrote mean more to me than anyone elses. I know how much your work means to you! Thank you VERY, VERY much for the awsome review! :o) I', SO thrilled YOU enjoyed it!!! :o) Helvi
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blush!!
Comment from Denise S
You did a good poem here the inspiration really worked well for you. I enjoyed reading this little story. You did a good job
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You did a good poem here the inspiration really worked well for you. I enjoyed reading this little story. You did a good job
Comment Written 30-Sep-2011
Comment from Jewell McChesney
Whipping, bumping, brewing, trembling,exoding, hammmering, pulsate, powerful mayhem....
What a fabulous poem you've written for this gorgeous art!
Wow!! You've used some wonderfully descriptives in this moving poem.
I think I could use these in something more provacative....haha.
Just teasing! I couldn't resist!
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Whipping, bumping, brewing, trembling,exoding, hammmering, pulsate, powerful mayhem....
What a fabulous poem you've written for this gorgeous art!
Wow!! You've used some wonderfully descriptives in this moving poem.
I think I could use these in something more provacative....haha.
Just teasing! I couldn't resist!
Comment Written 30-Sep-2011
Comment from mumsyone
I love your fantastic "explanation" of thunder and lightning! Great use of metaphor. It presents a vivid picture of the storm, accompanied by all the sounds of snorting and hoofbeats.
Heavy humidity snorts from their nose (noses would sound better and would not affect the rhythm of the line)
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I love your fantastic "explanation" of thunder and lightning! Great use of metaphor. It presents a vivid picture of the storm, accompanied by all the sounds of snorting and hoofbeats.
Heavy humidity snorts from their nose (noses would sound better and would not affect the rhythm of the line)
Comment Written 30-Sep-2011
Comment from Chris Tee
Yes indeed very enjoyable it was old sport.
Have you looked at those wonderful horses???
Do you not see something odd in them??? in two definitely..
Answer me in your reply ok.
Well done with both the splendid artwork and superb poem.
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Yes indeed very enjoyable it was old sport.
Have you looked at those wonderful horses???
Do you not see something odd in them??? in two definitely..
Answer me in your reply ok.
Well done with both the splendid artwork and superb poem.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2011
Comment from kiwisteveh
I really liked your poem which presented a kind of alternative mythology for thunder and lightning - a herd of wild horses. However, I felt it was a little inconsistent. In particular, I felt lines 3 and 4 dragged down the overall tone of the poem which is powerful and almost frightening. 'clouds bump with notions to shove' is playful and whimsical by comparison.
However, the rest is excellent and the very strong language (maelstrom, malevolent, caccophony) suits the theme.
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I really liked your poem which presented a kind of alternative mythology for thunder and lightning - a herd of wild horses. However, I felt it was a little inconsistent. In particular, I felt lines 3 and 4 dragged down the overall tone of the poem which is powerful and almost frightening. 'clouds bump with notions to shove' is playful and whimsical by comparison.
However, the rest is excellent and the very strong language (maelstrom, malevolent, caccophony) suits the theme.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2011
Comment from ephraim crud, COS.
a very clever mix of metaphor, it kept me thundering
along. very well written and well presented.
thank you muchly for sharing.
regards, eph.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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a very clever mix of metaphor, it kept me thundering
along. very well written and well presented.
thank you muchly for sharing.
regards, eph.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2011
Comment from J. P. Egry
Talk about how to write a poem about a storm---this is it! Wonderful use of language, vivid details that create dual images--both of the horses and the actual storm one is in---and it does feel to the reader as if he is experiencing the storm. I love this metaphor and how you've used it and you have so many carefully chosen meaningful words that bring the poem to life, that I cannot single out special ones. They are all special. The artwork is wonderful and truly inspiring.
This is my last review for the night and it will please me to think about it as I nod off.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2011
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Talk about how to write a poem about a storm---this is it! Wonderful use of language, vivid details that create dual images--both of the horses and the actual storm one is in---and it does feel to the reader as if he is experiencing the storm. I love this metaphor and how you've used it and you have so many carefully chosen meaningful words that bring the poem to life, that I cannot single out special ones. They are all special. The artwork is wonderful and truly inspiring.
This is my last review for the night and it will please me to think about it as I nod off.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2011
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Hi J.P. Egry, You my friend just knocked my socks off with your incredible six star review. You left me with a HUGE smile that I could nod off with! You gave me SO many WOWS! Thank you SO much for your awesome review! :o) Helvi
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You are so welcome. This is a memorable poem with well-deserved accolades.
Comment from purrfect tale
This is really a wonderful poem. The analogy of the storm to the horse was great! I could picture the mean horse thundering across the sky snort his humid breath.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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This is really a wonderful poem. The analogy of the storm to the horse was great! I could picture the mean horse thundering across the sky snort his humid breath.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2011