Virge And the Yellow Jacket War
A Boy's Life in the South - See Author Notes37 total reviews
Comment from anabelle
Really good story, Bill. I love the way you wove it around the crying. Very nicely done. I'm still laughing too.
This is brilliant, insightful and extremely touching: when I was a little boy, I decided that it didn't make much sense to cry about things that hurt you on the outside.
Regards, anabelle
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2010
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Really good story, Bill. I love the way you wove it around the crying. Very nicely done. I'm still laughing too.
This is brilliant, insightful and extremely touching: when I was a little boy, I decided that it didn't make much sense to cry about things that hurt you on the outside.
Regards, anabelle
Comment Written 06-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2010
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Thanks for reading Anabelle and for the wonderful compliment of a 6! Regards, Bill
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You're very welcome, Bill. A very deserved rating.
Comment from Frances Jean
Another delightful story about your friend Virge, Bill. Well done, I enjoyed it very much.It reminded me of a friend from work who told me that's how he kills ant nests; pours some fuel in and sets it alight. Seems to work a treat! Cheers Frances
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2010
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Another delightful story about your friend Virge, Bill. Well done, I enjoyed it very much.It reminded me of a friend from work who told me that's how he kills ant nests; pours some fuel in and sets it alight. Seems to work a treat! Cheers Frances
Comment Written 06-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2010
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Thanks for reading Frances and I'm glad that you enjoyed.
Comment from animatqua
Great story! There were a lot of things I liked about it. The character development was superb. The action was fast paced and very interesting. The setting glued all of that together into a well crafted, homey tale.
Good job, too, and setting up the time period from the beginning of the story. That allows for a perception and a mind set that enhances everything else.
Joel Chandler Harris, move over!
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2010
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Great story! There were a lot of things I liked about it. The character development was superb. The action was fast paced and very interesting. The setting glued all of that together into a well crafted, homey tale.
Good job, too, and setting up the time period from the beginning of the story. That allows for a perception and a mind set that enhances everything else.
Joel Chandler Harris, move over!
Comment Written 05-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2010
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Thanks for reading and for your great comments. Oddly enough, I remember my grandmother reading Joel Chandler Harris to me at about this age.
Comment from dportwood
bhogg,
Nice story-telling style with humor mixed in with the other imagery. Well done.
I noticed these items you may want to edit:
"De other thing that'll help is we gonna KILL those jackets."
(De other thing that'll help is we gonna kill those jackets") Unnecessary caps distract
...I looked over and Virge and said,...
(...I looked over at Virge and said...)
Duane
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2010
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bhogg,
Nice story-telling style with humor mixed in with the other imagery. Well done.
I noticed these items you may want to edit:
"De other thing that'll help is we gonna KILL those jackets."
(De other thing that'll help is we gonna kill those jackets") Unnecessary caps distract
...I looked over and Virge and said,...
(...I looked over at Virge and said...)
Duane
Comment Written 05-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2010
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Hi Duane - thanks for reading and for the input. I always feel that you do a great job on self editing. To me, it doesn't seem like I can ever catch everything. Regards, Bill
Comment from knowledge
This is a nice story. You know, I think it would make a great children's story. I know an great artist on fanartreview, that would be interested in helping you with it.
Thank You My Friend,
Knowledge
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2010
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This is a nice story. You know, I think it would make a great children's story. I know an great artist on fanartreview, that would be interested in helping you with it.
Thank You My Friend,
Knowledge
Comment Written 05-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2010
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Thank you for reading. Most of my work is short stories of one kind or another and I've always wanted to hook up with an illustrator. Regards, Bill
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Her handle of fanartreview is Auntsissy.
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi bhogg,
I love these stories about Rabbit and Virge. Both are such good characters, funny and wonderful. That fact that these stories are true make them just that much better. Your description of the killing of the Yellow Jackets is hilarious. However, I bet John didn't think so! Another wonderful story...keep em commin....chey
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2010
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Hi bhogg,
I love these stories about Rabbit and Virge. Both are such good characters, funny and wonderful. That fact that these stories are true make them just that much better. Your description of the killing of the Yellow Jackets is hilarious. However, I bet John didn't think so! Another wonderful story...keep em commin....chey
Comment Written 05-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2010
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Hi Chey - my brother and I actually discussed this recently and like most things in life, his recollection and mine are different. Big surprise hunh? Thank you very much for reading and your kind comments. Bill
Comment from Realist101
BILL! Not just funny, but perfectly written, taking the reader back to an event to vivid in your childhood. A joy to read. BECAUSE, as a young woman, I too had an encounter with these little beasts. I was mowing my father-inlaws lawn, and the push mower ran over their den. I was wearing SHORT SHORTS...I needn't go on...we put gas down that hole, but we were smart enuff to dart away as we put the match in it!! HA! I LOVE THIS! ") Susan
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2010
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BILL! Not just funny, but perfectly written, taking the reader back to an event to vivid in your childhood. A joy to read. BECAUSE, as a young woman, I too had an encounter with these little beasts. I was mowing my father-inlaws lawn, and the push mower ran over their den. I was wearing SHORT SHORTS...I needn't go on...we put gas down that hole, but we were smart enuff to dart away as we put the match in it!! HA! I LOVE THIS! ") Susan
Comment Written 05-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2010
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Hi Susan - I feel your pain! I know that it hurt, but your response brought a big wide grin to my face. :) LOL Bill
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Keep up this wonderful story of your youth, Bill, it is great! ") Susan
Comment from Gideon Roth
Hello. "Virge And the Yellow Jacket War," was a well written and spag free submission. It was not only well written, but was thoroughly entertaining and held the interest all the way through. I only found one place that, as I read it, seemed to need a missing word; it. I have placed it below for your consideration.
I always enjoy reading new submissions by the great writers before embarking on a day of writing and I am happy to have come across this one today. Best of success with all of your writing endeavors...Gideon
The cabin was surrounded by large pecan trees, so(it) was always shady in the summer.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2010
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Hello. "Virge And the Yellow Jacket War," was a well written and spag free submission. It was not only well written, but was thoroughly entertaining and held the interest all the way through. I only found one place that, as I read it, seemed to need a missing word; it. I have placed it below for your consideration.
I always enjoy reading new submissions by the great writers before embarking on a day of writing and I am happy to have come across this one today. Best of success with all of your writing endeavors...Gideon
The cabin was surrounded by large pecan trees, so(it) was always shady in the summer.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2010
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Thanks Gideon - first for reading and then for your kind words!
Comment from missy98writer
Bhogg,
Your non-fiction is very well written and a extremely enjoyable read. Wonderful narrative, excellent imagery, great dialogue and delightful writing. Here are some paragraphs that stand out:
Virge lived in a cabin on the family property. My grandparents let him live there for free, and he would help out with light chores, chopping wood, and my favorite, working the mules. The cabin was of rough hewn pine, and had never seen an ounce of paint. It was weathered gray in coloration. The four room cabin had two bedrooms, a kitchen and sitting area and a living room. It had wide planked floors throughout. The cabin was surrounded by large pecan trees, so was always shady in the summer. Virge lived there full time, and his niece, Ms Carrie, was usually there. He called her "Sugar Butts". She did have an unusual build, defined by a rather large derriere.
I picked up a branch and started moving to the burn pile, when all of a sudden, all hell broke loose. In the process of moving that branch, I had upset a large yellow jacket nest. They were swarmed all around me. About five had already stung me on my arm. I near scared Virge to death, because I was doing a little dance and yelling, "Damn, damn, damn!" Virge came running over. He was swatting at me with a towel he had pulled off a line. Lifting me at the waist, he scooted me out of the area. Setting me down, he was still beating the yellow jackets away with his towel.
"Naw, Rabbit, I wasn't crying. When I was shoveling, some of dat ol red dirt blowed in my eyes... I do know some things that will make your arm feel better though. The first thing is we got to put on some chewing tobacco." Virge put a wad of tobacco in a tin can and poured some well water on it. He then mashed it all up with the handle end of a hammer. He was talking to me all the time, how this is what his daddy did for him. When he had mashed it up real good, he spread it over my arm and wrapped a rag around it. Maybe it was the constant banter, or it could be a miracle cure; all I know is that the pain went away
I did, and nothing happened right away. All of a sudden, the ground swelled up a little and there was a sound, like, WHANK. There was an explosion and my brother, standing on the barrel top, was actually lifted off the ground about an inch. That explosion sort of telegraphed right through that barrel top and through his tennis shoes. He jumped off the top and started yelling, "Ow, Ow, Ow", lifting one foot and then the other, hopping around like crazy. He looked like a herky-jerky dancer. Once we decided he wasn't seriously hurt, Virge and I started laughing. With Virge, it was so bad he actually lay on the ground and rolled. John ran away. I knew for certain, that I had beating coming. I didn't care, it was worth it.
I hate those yellow jackets. I've been stung by them too. I loved your true story. What a delight to read. You are a very talented writer. I look forward to reading more you post.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2010
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Bhogg,
Your non-fiction is very well written and a extremely enjoyable read. Wonderful narrative, excellent imagery, great dialogue and delightful writing. Here are some paragraphs that stand out:
Virge lived in a cabin on the family property. My grandparents let him live there for free, and he would help out with light chores, chopping wood, and my favorite, working the mules. The cabin was of rough hewn pine, and had never seen an ounce of paint. It was weathered gray in coloration. The four room cabin had two bedrooms, a kitchen and sitting area and a living room. It had wide planked floors throughout. The cabin was surrounded by large pecan trees, so was always shady in the summer. Virge lived there full time, and his niece, Ms Carrie, was usually there. He called her "Sugar Butts". She did have an unusual build, defined by a rather large derriere.
I picked up a branch and started moving to the burn pile, when all of a sudden, all hell broke loose. In the process of moving that branch, I had upset a large yellow jacket nest. They were swarmed all around me. About five had already stung me on my arm. I near scared Virge to death, because I was doing a little dance and yelling, "Damn, damn, damn!" Virge came running over. He was swatting at me with a towel he had pulled off a line. Lifting me at the waist, he scooted me out of the area. Setting me down, he was still beating the yellow jackets away with his towel.
"Naw, Rabbit, I wasn't crying. When I was shoveling, some of dat ol red dirt blowed in my eyes... I do know some things that will make your arm feel better though. The first thing is we got to put on some chewing tobacco." Virge put a wad of tobacco in a tin can and poured some well water on it. He then mashed it all up with the handle end of a hammer. He was talking to me all the time, how this is what his daddy did for him. When he had mashed it up real good, he spread it over my arm and wrapped a rag around it. Maybe it was the constant banter, or it could be a miracle cure; all I know is that the pain went away
I did, and nothing happened right away. All of a sudden, the ground swelled up a little and there was a sound, like, WHANK. There was an explosion and my brother, standing on the barrel top, was actually lifted off the ground about an inch. That explosion sort of telegraphed right through that barrel top and through his tennis shoes. He jumped off the top and started yelling, "Ow, Ow, Ow", lifting one foot and then the other, hopping around like crazy. He looked like a herky-jerky dancer. Once we decided he wasn't seriously hurt, Virge and I started laughing. With Virge, it was so bad he actually lay on the ground and rolled. John ran away. I knew for certain, that I had beating coming. I didn't care, it was worth it.
I hate those yellow jackets. I've been stung by them too. I loved your true story. What a delight to read. You are a very talented writer. I look forward to reading more you post.
Melissa.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2010
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Thank you Melissa - I'm glad that you read the story and enjoyed!
Comment from Sacred Heart
Hi Bill,
What a beautiful story! I felt like I was right there with you sharing in your experience which kept me hooked from beginning to end.I was lovig it too! How luck you were to have Verge in your life.I'm alergic to bee stings and so I was scared for you. Was glad to hear that no one was seriously hurt with the gas explosion, whew!
You have many great memories to draw upon and you do a great job of storytelling! Just goes to show you that age doesn't matter when it comes to matters of the heart.
Truly enjoyed my friend, Take care, Love Light Patty
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2010
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Hi Bill,
What a beautiful story! I felt like I was right there with you sharing in your experience which kept me hooked from beginning to end.I was lovig it too! How luck you were to have Verge in your life.I'm alergic to bee stings and so I was scared for you. Was glad to hear that no one was seriously hurt with the gas explosion, whew!
You have many great memories to draw upon and you do a great job of storytelling! Just goes to show you that age doesn't matter when it comes to matters of the heart.
Truly enjoyed my friend, Take care, Love Light Patty
Comment Written 05-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2010
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Hi Patty - your review and comments bring a smile to my face. Thank you!
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You are always welcome my friend. I truly enjoyed your story!
