Tantalizing Eyes
Viewing comments for Chapter 45 "Chapter 13, part 3"Dishonesty VS Love. Which will win?
69 total reviews
Comment from Auroraboreal800
This is a very interesting chapter with a very sad ending. So unbelievable how small misunderstandings continue to grow until the tension becomes too much. I pray for a solution of the problem in later chapters.
The artwork is so beautiful!
Well done!
reply by the author on 06-May-2010
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This is a very interesting chapter with a very sad ending. So unbelievable how small misunderstandings continue to grow until the tension becomes too much. I pray for a solution of the problem in later chapters.
The artwork is so beautiful!
Well done!
Comment Written 04-May-2010
reply by the author on 06-May-2010
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Thank you for your kind reveiw. Sorry it took so long to answer, I caught a reall bad cold and it zapped my energy.
Comment from Begin Again
Barbara.
Sorry for the late review. I have been loff the site pretty much of late. I enjoyed the chapter as usual except I thought Leya would have shown lmore emotion . Something other than just walking out. I think she would have rushed and to him at first...then realization of what she had done would havce set in ...and she would have tried to get away. Just my thoughts. Still an excellent story.
Carol
reply by the author on 06-May-2010
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Barbara.
Sorry for the late review. I have been loff the site pretty much of late. I enjoyed the chapter as usual except I thought Leya would have shown lmore emotion . Something other than just walking out. I think she would have rushed and to him at first...then realization of what she had done would havce set in ...and she would have tried to get away. Just my thoughts. Still an excellent story.
Carol
Comment Written 04-May-2010
reply by the author on 06-May-2010
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I have been off the site too. I caught the garbage my first graders have passed around all year and it kicked my butt. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written with your usual good form and flow. i enjoyed reading this chapter a lot and i especially liked the part where matt is laughing at steven
reply by the author on 06-May-2010
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this is very well written with your usual good form and flow. i enjoyed reading this chapter a lot and i especially liked the part where matt is laughing at steven
Comment Written 04-May-2010
reply by the author on 06-May-2010
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Thank you for your kind review, sorry about the tardiness but I have been ill for a few days.
Comment from Earthwriter
excellent post I thought this piece flowed nicely and kept my atention well i thought the dialog worked well and had a natural feel to it well done
reply by the author on 06-May-2010
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excellent post I thought this piece flowed nicely and kept my atention well i thought the dialog worked well and had a natural feel to it well done
Comment Written 04-May-2010
reply by the author on 06-May-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. I am sorry for the tardiness in answering. I have been ill for a few days.
Comment from IanC
You have share a very compelling piece. I like the staging, it is easy to visualize the setting. The story itself in one chapter had plenty to keep the reader attentive. And it makes the reader want to read more. Well done, I really enjoyed your piece. Blessings, Ian
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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You have share a very compelling piece. I like the staging, it is easy to visualize the setting. The story itself in one chapter had plenty to keep the reader attentive. And it makes the reader want to read more. Well done, I really enjoyed your piece. Blessings, Ian
Comment Written 03-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from cool_girl01
First, of all everyone loves a good novel. You have a good deal of details witch I love. I would love to give you 5 stars good job!
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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First, of all everyone loves a good novel. You have a good deal of details witch I love. I would love to give you 5 stars good job!
Comment Written 03-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from EarthenImage
I really love the storyline. Though I haven't read the other chapters this makes me want to look for them.
The only reason I didn't rate it higher was Leya. She seemed mechanical in her responses. "Yes, Steven would never hurt me." was a bit forced. I thought maybe she should laugh a bit or shake her head in shock at the thought of him doing that. Maybe show a bit more of her character or fear or anxiety when she speaks.
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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I really love the storyline. Though I haven't read the other chapters this makes me want to look for them.
The only reason I didn't rate it higher was Leya. She seemed mechanical in her responses. "Yes, Steven would never hurt me." was a bit forced. I thought maybe she should laugh a bit or shake her head in shock at the thought of him doing that. Maybe show a bit more of her character or fear or anxiety when she speaks.
Comment Written 03-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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If you would have read earlier chapter you would have known there is much more to that statement. Leya have been very worried about Steven hurting her, because of the violence and they way men treat women in her family. Her father had her mother beaten and raped when he heard Leya married Steven. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from aprilmreign
I enjoyed your story however, I feel like I'm missing a lot coming in at this chapter. I will try and go back from the beginning in order to give you a complete review. In this one chapter, because I've read nothing else, I had a hard time getting a sense of the characters. Once again, I know it's because I came in at chapter 45. Because I did enjoy this chapter I will go back and read your other ones. Thanks
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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I enjoyed your story however, I feel like I'm missing a lot coming in at this chapter. I will try and go back from the beginning in order to give you a complete review. In this one chapter, because I've read nothing else, I had a hard time getting a sense of the characters. Once again, I know it's because I came in at chapter 45. Because I did enjoy this chapter I will go back and read your other ones. Thanks
Comment Written 03-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from rivki1111
Hello, interesting story. Never cross the Sheriff, huh!
Marrying someone to save them from an arranged marriage is quite a twist. I enjoyed reading this chapter of your book, and saw no errors.
I am guessing you have edited out all your 'nits'.
Thanks for sharing your writing, it is a story I would recommend to others for review, cheers, rivki
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Hello, interesting story. Never cross the Sheriff, huh!
Marrying someone to save them from an arranged marriage is quite a twist. I enjoyed reading this chapter of your book, and saw no errors.
I am guessing you have edited out all your 'nits'.
Thanks for sharing your writing, it is a story I would recommend to others for review, cheers, rivki
Comment Written 03-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from brianrm2358
Flows pretty well. Interesting plot, characters are believable. I am a beginning writer, but an avid reader. You did build interest in the plot, and I would read more. I really dont have any ways right now to improve it.....rob
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Flows pretty well. Interesting plot, characters are believable. I am a beginning writer, but an avid reader. You did build interest in the plot, and I would read more. I really dont have any ways right now to improve it.....rob
Comment Written 03-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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I am confused since you 'don't have any ways right now to improve it.' why did you give me a 4? I don't understand. Thank you for your review.
