The Ottava Rima
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "If Every Star Should Fall"ottava rima poetry
95 total reviews
Comment from IndianaIrish
Such a beautiful poem in all respects, Brooke. I like especially how the reader can find a religious tone or a romantic zeal to your words. Excellent.
Karyn :>)
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2010
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Such a beautiful poem in all respects, Brooke. I like especially how the reader can find a religious tone or a romantic zeal to your words. Excellent.
Karyn :>)
Comment Written 25-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2010
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Thank you, Karyn. I deliberately left it open to either interpretation, so I'm glad that works for you :-) brooke
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
This is very well written and beautiful it reads very well so much feeling of romance throughout the work well done again regards Fuller
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2010
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This is very well written and beautiful it reads very well so much feeling of romance throughout the work well done again regards Fuller
Comment Written 25-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2010
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Thank you, Fuller - I appreciate your kind review, as always :-) Brooke
Comment from Dave M
Brooke,
This is an excellent love poem in a rather old-fashioned style. I enjoyed reading it and couldn't find anything to criticize. BTW, my wife wouldn't mind if the first of May never arrived - that's her birthday.
Dave
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2010
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Brooke,
This is an excellent love poem in a rather old-fashioned style. I enjoyed reading it and couldn't find anything to criticize. BTW, my wife wouldn't mind if the first of May never arrived - that's her birthday.
Dave
Comment Written 25-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2010
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Thank you, Dave. I appreciate your kind review - I love birthdays! Brooke :-)
Comment from Jarlsbane
Beautiful time honored sentiment is presented in this lovely poem, brooke! I love the words and feelings expressed! Another beautiful piece!
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2010
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Beautiful time honored sentiment is presented in this lovely poem, brooke! I love the words and feelings expressed! Another beautiful piece!
Comment Written 25-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2010
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Thank you, Michael. Glad you enjoyed - when I voted for your poem a while ago you were in the lead - you deserve to win that one!! Brooke
Comment from Dustman6180
You have written a beautiful poem here, Brooke. It reminds me of a song by Hermans Hermits (I'm old) called "The End of the World." Only, they sing it from the opposite perspective -- "Why do the stars keep on shining? Don't they know it's the end of the world? It ended when I lost your love." If you know it, hum along. Another great poem, Brooke. I love the form. Dusty
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2010
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You have written a beautiful poem here, Brooke. It reminds me of a song by Hermans Hermits (I'm old) called "The End of the World." Only, they sing it from the opposite perspective -- "Why do the stars keep on shining? Don't they know it's the end of the world? It ended when I lost your love." If you know it, hum along. Another great poem, Brooke. I love the form. Dusty
Comment Written 25-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2010
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Dusty, Don't say you're old - I know that song perfectly well! LOL I graduated high school in 1969, so Herman's Hermits are part of my upbringing. LOL Brooke
Comment from dragonqueen1983
i'm not sure if this is a religious or a romantice poem or both. regardless its well written and i love the pic that you used. well done
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2010
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i'm not sure if this is a religious or a romantice poem or both. regardless its well written and i love the pic that you used. well done
Comment Written 25-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2010
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I deliberately left it open to either interpretation. Thank you, my friend :-) Brooke
Comment from Amicus
I like if/then style poems and this one presented as an ottava rima is no exception. It flows nicely and makes its sweet love statement by playing off a set of wonderfully hyperbolic hypotheticals. Who could help but love those grounded naked birds? The phrase "fall from out" in line one does seem a bit odd and awkward to me however...how about tumble from or plummet from ?
Good poem.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2010
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I like if/then style poems and this one presented as an ottava rima is no exception. It flows nicely and makes its sweet love statement by playing off a set of wonderfully hyperbolic hypotheticals. Who could help but love those grounded naked birds? The phrase "fall from out" in line one does seem a bit odd and awkward to me however...how about tumble from or plummet from ?
Good poem.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2010
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Thank you, Amicus :-) I had plummet from in one of my drafts and changed it to this - I'll think about it some more :-) Brooke
Comment from Ms. Gray
I enjoyed the nature images in your poem. Today it looks like March is ready for April to come to Virginia. I hope you are enjoying some mild spring weather. I love the line - I still will find the spark within your smile. We all need to have that love in our lives when times are bad. Thanks for sharing this little poem full of good thoughts.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2010
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I enjoyed the nature images in your poem. Today it looks like March is ready for April to come to Virginia. I hope you are enjoying some mild spring weather. I love the line - I still will find the spark within your smile. We all need to have that love in our lives when times are bad. Thanks for sharing this little poem full of good thoughts.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2010
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Thanks so much, my friend :-) We had a few springlike days, but it has cooled off considerably and we're waiting for a cold rain. I'm confident warm weather will come to stay soon. :-) Brooke
Comment from BarnCat
Ah, Brooke -- to be the inspiration for this poem! Using the natural world for the trials and tribulations seems to show that the ups and downs of relationships are also a natural function of growth and change. Liked this one a lot. Especially the doldrums and the sea.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2010
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Ah, Brooke -- to be the inspiration for this poem! Using the natural world for the trials and tribulations seems to show that the ups and downs of relationships are also a natural function of growth and change. Liked this one a lot. Especially the doldrums and the sea.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2010
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Thank you, Deb - so glad you enjoyed :-) Brooke
Comment from Just2Write
Such a delightful way to say I love you. This Ottava Rima has much purity of soul in it. An innocense found in simple love - the kind that is usually experienced by children, or the child within us. Rose.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2010
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Such a delightful way to say I love you. This Ottava Rima has much purity of soul in it. An innocense found in simple love - the kind that is usually experienced by children, or the child within us. Rose.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2010
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Thank you, Rose. I really appreciate your thoughtful review :-) Brooke
