Tantalizing Eyes
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "Chapter 6; part 1"Dishonesty VS Love. Which will win?
50 total reviews
Comment from Queenise
Barbara,friend. I really like this sweet and short chapter. It was begging for more but left off with a nice little spot of intrigue. Love the chemistry between the two. Good flow and pace. Looking forward to reading the next chapter. Would recommend. Blessings. Queenise
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2009
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Barbara,friend. I really like this sweet and short chapter. It was begging for more but left off with a nice little spot of intrigue. Love the chemistry between the two. Good flow and pace. Looking forward to reading the next chapter. Would recommend. Blessings. Queenise
Comment Written 14-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2009
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Thank you for your review and continued support.
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You're welcome. Queenise
Comment from wierdgrace
I love reading all your storys and chapters, especially since you have been such a help to my writing, this is wonderful, and easy to follow, the characters, and the diologue seems so real, thank you Barbara, your a great writier.
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2009
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I love reading all your storys and chapters, especially since you have been such a help to my writing, this is wonderful, and easy to follow, the characters, and the diologue seems so real, thank you Barbara, your a great writier.
Comment Written 14-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2009
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Thank you for your review. I appreciate your kind words.
Comment from christopherjl
Thanks for sharing another chapter. Once again beautifully written, I have no suggestions for your writing and could find no SPAG!
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2009
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Thanks for sharing another chapter. Once again beautifully written, I have no suggestions for your writing and could find no SPAG!
Comment Written 14-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2009
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Thank you for your review. I appreciate your kind words.
Comment from nora arjuna
another nice short read, barb. nice to see steven opening up a little bit.
"Surprise me," he interrupted with a grin as he left her room.
this line surprised me lol. how about leaving out 'interrupted'. we know he cut her short. try:
"Surprise me." He grinned and left the room.
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2009
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another nice short read, barb. nice to see steven opening up a little bit.
"Surprise me," he interrupted with a grin as he left her room.
this line surprised me lol. how about leaving out 'interrupted'. we know he cut her short. try:
"Surprise me." He grinned and left the room.
Comment Written 14-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2009
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I like you suggestion. Thank you for your review.
Comment from bookishfabler
I know I started this late, but already I am enjoying it. I can't believe I'm into romaNCES NOW. Argh! LOL.
black hair in a ponytail and (-she) resembled 'the girl next door'.
Don't need to add 'she'.
can't wait for the next chapter.
hugs
book
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2009
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I know I started this late, but already I am enjoying it. I can't believe I'm into romaNCES NOW. Argh! LOL.
black hair in a ponytail and (-she) resembled 'the girl next door'.
Don't need to add 'she'.
can't wait for the next chapter.
hugs
book
Comment Written 14-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2009
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Thank you for your review. I appreciate your kind words.
Comment from Laidy
this was yet another great and well written chapter. i thought this was interesting and a wonderful read. this is a great book and the next chapters are sure to also blow away the reader.
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2009
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this was yet another great and well written chapter. i thought this was interesting and a wonderful read. this is a great book and the next chapters are sure to also blow away the reader.
Comment Written 14-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2009
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Thank you for your review.
Comment from L.lora
Very good chapter. I liked
the way you handled the
situation between Leya and
Steven. It seemed comfortable
and in character for both or them.
The dialogues helped to move the reader
through the page and fit well within
the confines of the scenes presented.
Most enjoyable. no nits or spags. Lora
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2009
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Very good chapter. I liked
the way you handled the
situation between Leya and
Steven. It seemed comfortable
and in character for both or them.
The dialogues helped to move the reader
through the page and fit well within
the confines of the scenes presented.
Most enjoyable. no nits or spags. Lora
Comment Written 14-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2009
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Thank you for your review and kind words.
Comment from Readywriter52
Leya surprised Steven when she changed her style of dress. It seems to have flustered him. He seems to like her dressed either way.
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2009
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Leya surprised Steven when she changed her style of dress. It seems to have flustered him. He seems to like her dressed either way.
Comment Written 14-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2009
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I think Steven just likes Leya. I wonder when he's going to admit to himself? Thank you for your review.
Comment from Jordan Rose
Nice job, Barbara. These two get steamier and steamier!
I do have a suggestion for this line:
"Like someone I could enjoy cuddling beside and drinking hot cocoa with while watching a movie or a fire in a fireplace, maybe watching snow fall."
I don't think it needs quite so much detail to be romantic. Maybe something like this:
'Like someone I could enjoy cuddling with in front of the fire while we drank hot cocoa and watched the snow fall'
Just a suggestion. Jordan
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2009
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Nice job, Barbara. These two get steamier and steamier!
I do have a suggestion for this line:
"Like someone I could enjoy cuddling beside and drinking hot cocoa with while watching a movie or a fire in a fireplace, maybe watching snow fall."
I don't think it needs quite so much detail to be romantic. Maybe something like this:
'Like someone I could enjoy cuddling with in front of the fire while we drank hot cocoa and watched the snow fall'
Just a suggestion. Jordan
Comment Written 13-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2009
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Thank you for your review.
Comment from Dave M
Barbara,
This is an exceptional chapter, and I'll bet you had a lot of fun writing it. Poor Steven is not going to get out of this one, and they're already married, at least in name. So why shouldn't Leya demand honesty about romantic matters?
I couldn't find any nits at all. Here are a couple of lines I really liked:
"Leya answered the door wearing navy-blue sweat pants and an oversized gray T-shirt." This is an intelligent move on Leya's part.
When she turned around, she smiled. "I'd prefer to think we'd make love, not have sex."
Dave
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2009
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Barbara,
This is an exceptional chapter, and I'll bet you had a lot of fun writing it. Poor Steven is not going to get out of this one, and they're already married, at least in name. So why shouldn't Leya demand honesty about romantic matters?
I couldn't find any nits at all. Here are a couple of lines I really liked:
"Leya answered the door wearing navy-blue sweat pants and an oversized gray T-shirt." This is an intelligent move on Leya's part.
When she turned around, she smiled. "I'd prefer to think we'd make love, not have sex."
Dave
Comment Written 13-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2009
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I did have fun writing it. Thank you for your review and the 6 stars. I appreciate the thoughtfulness.
