A Gossimer Trail Of Encouragement
This is what has been happening to me.16 total reviews
Comment from luisestable
Writing can be hard, especially poetry, and it has nothing to do with whether a person has a good heart or not. Some of the great writers and poets that this world has given have been not so nice people. Many good and wonderful people can`t write a good poem or a great piece of prose, and this does not mean that life is punishing them or that the critics, though sometimes they do, have a thing against them. It means that writing is not their vocation or the thing they were born to do.
To become a good poet, even if you have the talent, requires hard work and much dedication over many years. I myself have been writing poetry for almost two decades and every now and then I make my errors.
If one wants to help a person to find what he/she does best, one has to be honest.
Now about your poem:
You are writing in free style, choose your words more carefully; make your rhymes perfect ones if you are rhyming. You have room to do this, for you don`t have to deal with the problems of meter and feet.
When you write in free style, there is little space for mistakes. The critic or the reader is going to be or judge your poetry harder. This poem is not a total lost, but it dos need some improvement.
The thing that I like in this poem is the story of the feather; how it keeps coming up in the poem, but the language to convey this needs to be a little more poetic; it needs more poetic qualities. By the way, I think gossimer should have been gossamer.
Keep working on your poetry if you think, in fact, that this is what you want to do in life. If you never become a good poet, don`t cry and do poetry for fun or for your own pleasure. Not everyone who takes on poetry becomes a poet. A poet is a serious thing, not just any person who writes lines in the shape of poetry. To earn the Tiltle of poet one has to be indeed one; it`s that simple. You won`t call someone a baseball player if he does not know how to play baseball.
Good luck!
luis
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reply by the author on 07-Jun-2009
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Writing can be hard, especially poetry, and it has nothing to do with whether a person has a good heart or not. Some of the great writers and poets that this world has given have been not so nice people. Many good and wonderful people can`t write a good poem or a great piece of prose, and this does not mean that life is punishing them or that the critics, though sometimes they do, have a thing against them. It means that writing is not their vocation or the thing they were born to do.
To become a good poet, even if you have the talent, requires hard work and much dedication over many years. I myself have been writing poetry for almost two decades and every now and then I make my errors.
If one wants to help a person to find what he/she does best, one has to be honest.
Now about your poem:
You are writing in free style, choose your words more carefully; make your rhymes perfect ones if you are rhyming. You have room to do this, for you don`t have to deal with the problems of meter and feet.
When you write in free style, there is little space for mistakes. The critic or the reader is going to be or judge your poetry harder. This poem is not a total lost, but it dos need some improvement.
The thing that I like in this poem is the story of the feather; how it keeps coming up in the poem, but the language to convey this needs to be a little more poetic; it needs more poetic qualities. By the way, I think gossimer should have been gossamer.
Keep working on your poetry if you think, in fact, that this is what you want to do in life. If you never become a good poet, don`t cry and do poetry for fun or for your own pleasure. Not everyone who takes on poetry becomes a poet. A poet is a serious thing, not just any person who writes lines in the shape of poetry. To earn the Tiltle of poet one has to be indeed one; it`s that simple. You won`t call someone a baseball player if he does not know how to play baseball.
Good luck!
luis
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2009
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2009
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"Poet," is a term that I will never consider calling myself. I really don't want to lock myself in to what many people consider the realm of the poet which to me is limiting. In addition I have lived enough of a Poet's life and fear what life will then dish to me. I preferr poet to be a socitial compliment, best left to other people to bestow. I consider myself more a poetic writer.
I have seen people take considerations of poetry to the extreme and in one contest, what won the awards wasn't very good at all. One was a three line addaption of, "I drink coffee in the morning." Another was so abstract that there was no conveyable meaning and the third was written in a way that it was outside most people understanding of the meanings.
I appreciate your view and will look up gossamer. I lost my on-line unabridged dictionary as a virus. Thank you for reviewing this. Mike
Comment from K-Patrick
however each time, I kept tripping over a feather -- very philosophical.
Well done. A good smooth flow and the mental images of trial, tribulation and success that swirls around every author can be felt in your words.
The rhyme, concealed a bit do to the line length made the piece flow that much more.
Very good writing.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2009
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however each time, I kept tripping over a feather -- very philosophical.
Well done. A good smooth flow and the mental images of trial, tribulation and success that swirls around every author can be felt in your words.
The rhyme, concealed a bit do to the line length made the piece flow that much more.
Very good writing.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2009
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2009
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I find the way the I write my poems with trying to keep meter within stanzas and rhyme, improve the comprehension and flow. I thank you very much for your compliments and this review. Mike
Comment from GinnyK
I enjoyed the free style writing, and I, too, believe in the "feathers" as you put it so aptly. I also enjoyed your note at the end of your poem. Yes, one friend can really hurt and make you feel what you need to do is "quit." But don't ever give up. You have a God-given talent....Use it and glean from your experiences. A great job, well done.
Ginny
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2009
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I enjoyed the free style writing, and I, too, believe in the "feathers" as you put it so aptly. I also enjoyed your note at the end of your poem. Yes, one friend can really hurt and make you feel what you need to do is "quit." But don't ever give up. You have a God-given talent....Use it and glean from your experiences. A great job, well done.
Ginny
Comment Written 07-Jun-2009
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2009
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I agree with this review. I do end up between employment and writing to totally work myself to exhaustion. I consider my writing abilities a gift that is to be shared and passed on. I think everyone of them has found a home with someone. I thank you very much for your compliments and this review. Mike
Comment from Deejharrington
I totally believe in what you are saying. You have expressed it perfectly. The signs that are sent to me are butterflies and certain songs. I take them as proof that we are not alone and that energy never dies, only changes into forms we may not understand right now. Thank you for telling more people about your experience.
DJ
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2009
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I totally believe in what you are saying. You have expressed it perfectly. The signs that are sent to me are butterflies and certain songs. I take them as proof that we are not alone and that energy never dies, only changes into forms we may not understand right now. Thank you for telling more people about your experience.
DJ
Comment Written 07-Jun-2009
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2009
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Wow! What a review and I thank you for sharing this point of reference. I thank you for it and the compliments.
Sincerely, Mike
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You're welcome
deb
Comment from nora arjuna
But what hell will [awaits] me? - await, no 's'
hi mike, i know you've written about this experience various times before but i'm amazed that you could write and interprate about friendship here in so many ways, and each one sounds like a fresh read. anyway, you should not let anyone here weaken your spirit for writing. you are greatly talented and must do it for yourself. take care.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2009
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But what hell will [awaits] me? - await, no 's'
hi mike, i know you've written about this experience various times before but i'm amazed that you could write and interprate about friendship here in so many ways, and each one sounds like a fresh read. anyway, you should not let anyone here weaken your spirit for writing. you are greatly talented and must do it for yourself. take care.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2009
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2009
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I fixed the, "s." I guess I write about the experience so much because it is so close to my heart and I believe an example to reserect as I discover new things to use this for. I found the feathers to be an extraordianary phenomina for me and wanted to get the story and poem out for some time. I guess the elements came together.
Without a professional photography setup, including lighting and a view camera; it is amazing just how hard a feather is to photograph. I could have shot it with my camera, but the final resolution is such that I would have lost all the detail. I actually got the idea of scanning the feather, after I had completed scanning my senior high school year book that I never got. A twenty-five year old quest. After 232 pages, I wanted to throw a brick through it, went down stairs and asked, why did I put that feather there? Yikes.
Thank you very much for your compliments and this review. Have a great week ahead! I took off of work to review a few of those stories, that was the only way I could find some time. LOL
With love, Mike
Comment from Kristia
Wow,
You can feel so much emotion from this piece. It makes your heart hurt when you read about the writer being hurt and lonely and then picking himself back up. Love the flow and the emotion it brings. Bravo
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reply by the author on 06-Jun-2009
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Wow,
You can feel so much emotion from this piece. It makes your heart hurt when you read about the writer being hurt and lonely and then picking himself back up. Love the flow and the emotion it brings. Bravo
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2009
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2009
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I hope the, "hurt," was a lesser emotion as I wanted faith, encouragement and conviction to be the greater one's. That's what the feathers taught me. I thank you very much for the compliments and this review. Mike
