Stalker
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "So where are they?"Jim and Lenny are hired to find a stalker
20 total reviews
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Gayle, can't you just imagine being one of the guys and trying to keep up with that story as fast as it was coming out? Another good job.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2008
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Gayle, can't you just imagine being one of the guys and trying to keep up with that story as fast as it was coming out? Another good job.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2008
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LOL! Jan, this is something else, huh, and the girls keep the flow going, for sure. Guys have whiplash and Tony'd better not even LOOK at Amy. She's not in the mood!
Thanks so much and I so appreciate your kind comments!
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LOL! Jan, this is something else, huh, and the girls keep the flow going, for sure. Guys have whiplash and Tony'd better not even LOOK at Amy. She's not in the mood!
Thanks so much and I so appreciate your kind comments!
Comment from Readywriter52
Ella will probably be telling her story about her escape for years. It looks like Amy got the worse of the chase. It looks like none of them are any closer to finding Andy. It looks like the men who took Andy and Candace have won.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2008
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Ella will probably be telling her story about her escape for years. It looks like Amy got the worse of the chase. It looks like none of them are any closer to finding Andy. It looks like the men who took Andy and Candace have won.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2008
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Hang in there, RW, we've only just begun. More to go, and I know you'll be cheering!
Hugs,
Gayle
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Hang in there, RW, we've only just begun. More to go, and I know you'll be cheering!
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from RenieReader
Another fantastic chapter, Gayle. I love the interaction between your characters when they're all at Ella's with Al, the bartender. I can't wait to find out what they'll get up to next. Hope they figure out that Andy and Candace didn't make it off the mountain. Great work, my friend.
Hugs,
Renie
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2008
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Another fantastic chapter, Gayle. I love the interaction between your characters when they're all at Ella's with Al, the bartender. I can't wait to find out what they'll get up to next. Hope they figure out that Andy and Candace didn't make it off the mountain. Great work, my friend.
Hugs,
Renie
Comment Written 01-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2008
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Hey Renie,
I love the chapters where we can interact with the dogs. Al, of course, goes clear back to the first book, so ongoing readers know him for the 'sage' individual he is. Plus, when it comes to the dogs, everyone loves to tease Jim, including Amy.
We're about to take off again. Catch your breath!
Huggers,
Gayle
Comment from Dave M
Gayle,
I can see why you brought the tracker dog into the story. Looks like it's time for some serious tracking. This is an excellent "breather" chapter, with more action to come in the next one.
I found no spag, but one item bothered me:
Ella harrumphed, finished her drink and raised the glass aloft to Al. "They were after your car." This does not read clearly. I had to scan it to make sure Ella wasn't talking to the bartender. You could say, "She looked Terry in the eye" right before her quote, or even the dreaded "she said,"
Dave M
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2008
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Gayle,
I can see why you brought the tracker dog into the story. Looks like it's time for some serious tracking. This is an excellent "breather" chapter, with more action to come in the next one.
I found no spag, but one item bothered me:
Ella harrumphed, finished her drink and raised the glass aloft to Al. "They were after your car." This does not read clearly. I had to scan it to make sure Ella wasn't talking to the bartender. You could say, "She looked Terry in the eye" right before her quote, or even the dreaded "she said,"
Dave M
Comment Written 01-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2008
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Oh, Dave, shhhh,
You really do pay attention, don't you? Ehghads, I LOVE that. Yessireebob, that's exactly what's gonna happen. Bad boy, you told! LOL! Now don't tell anyone else!
Love ya, bro,
Gayle
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Gayle,
Yip! Yip! Yip! I abase myself. My butt is on the ground, and my tail is wagging.
Dave M
Comment from Korton
This is another excellent chapter. Fortunately, the girls got out of this one unscathed. It could have truned ugly in a hurry. I suppose now that they well be running a check on the tax records for the property where the cabin is located and start unraveling this mess. Very well done.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2008
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This is another excellent chapter. Fortunately, the girls got out of this one unscathed. It could have truned ugly in a hurry. I suppose now that they well be running a check on the tax records for the property where the cabin is located and start unraveling this mess. Very well done.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2008
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Hey Frank,
Well, we're all catching our breath but yeah, they're going to start putting the pieces together here pretty soon.
Thanks for the great comments and review!
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from butterflykiss
This is still going great, flowing well and the characters are staying true to the way you wrote them in the first installment.
Thanks for sharing this wonderful story.
Butterflykiss
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2008
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This is still going great, flowing well and the characters are staying true to the way you wrote them in the first installment.
Thanks for sharing this wonderful story.
Butterflykiss
Comment Written 01-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2008
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Hi Jane,
It's such a pleasure to see you and thanks for the great comments and fine rating. Have a fun day,
Gayle
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Hello Gayle,
I have enjoyed your story very much.
Butterflykiss
Comment from c_lucas
You did a terrific job with dialogue and action. I wonder what would have happened if a drunk came in and seen the three dogs at the bar?(LOL)
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2008
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You did a terrific job with dialogue and action. I wonder what would have happened if a drunk came in and seen the three dogs at the bar?(LOL)
Comment Written 01-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2008
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Hey Charlie,
Yeah, that'd be a riot, huh? What dogs? Actually, the dogs only get to come into the lounge when it's closed, otherwise they have to stay in Ella's office.
I sure appreciate the chuckle and the great review my friend,
Hugs,
Gayle
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You're welcome, Gayle. Charlie
Comment from Safety Guy
I find reading pieces like this a great help as i am a mere beginner and looking at your bio you are quite accomplished.
Cheers
SG
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2008
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I find reading pieces like this a great help as i am a mere beginner and looking at your bio you are quite accomplished.
Cheers
SG
Comment Written 01-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2008
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Hi SG,
Well, first of all, welcome to Fanstory. You're going to have a ball and learn a bunch of stuff as well.
Thank you so much for the kind comments and I'd be happy to have a review from you any time!
Gayle
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O.K, thanks for that, i should have a short story on here very soon, then i will be entering the new members short story comp.
They say write about what you know so my entry for the comp is very loosely based around a bizarre happening at a pre season football match for West Ham a few years ago. That coupled with my knowledge/love of Ipswich Town F.C and the goings on at the moment.
The story i will be posting soon is of the sex, drugs and murder type, which was fun to write.
Cheers
Ryan
Comment from Domino
Hi, Gayle, still marching on, I see.
'Lights flashing as well, he followed---' Don't like that, perhaps ''With lights flashing'
'the warehouse neighborhood [like a cheap suit- bit of an old cliche, not sure?]
A slower chapter here, Gayle, to allow us to get our breath back, everyone involved to catch up, and some good reminders for the readers. Chat at the bar is very realistic and relaxing. Another goody. Ray xx
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2008
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Hi, Gayle, still marching on, I see.
'Lights flashing as well, he followed---' Don't like that, perhaps ''With lights flashing'
'the warehouse neighborhood [like a cheap suit- bit of an old cliche, not sure?]
A slower chapter here, Gayle, to allow us to get our breath back, everyone involved to catch up, and some good reminders for the readers. Chat at the bar is very realistic and relaxing. Another goody. Ray xx
Comment Written 01-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2008
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LOL! Ray, cheap suit is a cliche for sure, but in dialogue I don't mind it as much. I'll look into that problem you had with the 'lights' as well.
Yes, we all needed to slow down a bit and touch some bases. We're ready to go again.
Hugs,
Gayle
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Good point about it being used as dialogue, Gayle. Sorry, I showed my ignorance there. I'm learning slowly, LOL. Ray xx
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No ignorance at all, my friend. A cliche is a cliche. It's just that in dialogue they're given a bit more leeway!
Comment from RaymondJohn
It's easy to figure out what has happened before. I'm not sure why this is the ending, though. I like the characters. I think it's probably a good idea for them to get out of town. Best wishes. Ray.
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reply by the author on 01-Sep-2008
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It's easy to figure out what has happened before. I'm not sure why this is the ending, though. I like the characters. I think it's probably a good idea for them to get out of town. Best wishes. Ray.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2008
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Hi Ray,
Well, we're about 3/4 through the book and I put that warning up so folks won't say they got lost and didn't know who the characters are and the story confused them and then give me three stars!
There's still a good bit more to go. Hope to see you back again,
Gayle
