Stalker
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "Compton"Jim and Lenny are hired to find a stalker
18 total reviews
Comment from Readywriter52
Jim and Lenny have lost Andy. they look into a cabin but found nothing. It looks like Terry and Ella have not lost them so they are following them. So them still might catch the kidnappers.
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
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Jim and Lenny have lost Andy. they look into a cabin but found nothing. It looks like Terry and Ella have not lost them so they are following them. So them still might catch the kidnappers.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
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Hi RW,
Thanks for stopping by and for the kind comments. You are appreciated.
Best,
Gayle
Comment from RenieReader
Gayle: I'd be petrified down in that area if I were the girls. They are very determined ladies. I hope it pays off and they are able to find Constance and Andy. I'll be sweating bullets until I find out more. Great writing, pal.
What the(omit==>y) heck, where can they be going?"
Eyes wide, Jim stared at the forme[d==>r] LAPD detective.
Hugs,
Renie
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2008
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Gayle: I'd be petrified down in that area if I were the girls. They are very determined ladies. I hope it pays off and they are able to find Constance and Andy. I'll be sweating bullets until I find out more. Great writing, pal.
What the(omit==>y) heck, where can they be going?"
Eyes wide, Jim stared at the forme[d==>r] LAPD detective.
Hugs,
Renie
Comment Written 26-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2008
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Hey Renie,
Sometimes I think they'd been smarter to stay at the restaurant, but no, they gotta be part of the team! LOL. As for Compton, it doesn't get any worse, and sad to say, it had quite a nice beginning and for many years.
Got both those little guys fixed...I'm ditzy!
Thanks so much for the great comments and your R&R!
Huggers,
Gayle
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Okay, Gayle, I caught the joke with the humming of the song, "I think we're alone now" as the next line is "there doesn't seem to be anyone around". I'm really glad you didn't have the guys fall into the ground and make love to each other, however, as the folks did in the Tommy James and the Shondells song. One small piece of spag for you below: while I'm sure the LAPD detective is well-formed, I think you meant what is suggested:
formed LAPD detective >>> former LAPD detective
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2008
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Okay, Gayle, I caught the joke with the humming of the song, "I think we're alone now" as the next line is "there doesn't seem to be anyone around". I'm really glad you didn't have the guys fall into the ground and make love to each other, however, as the folks did in the Tommy James and the Shondells song. One small piece of spag for you below: while I'm sure the LAPD detective is well-formed, I think you meant what is suggested:
formed LAPD detective >>> former LAPD detective
Comment Written 26-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2008
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LOL! Jan, you tickle me pink, girl. I love to do these ilttle ditties and see who picks up on them! You're first!
Thanks for the great edit...got it, and for the hilarious comments.
Love,
Gayle
Comment from Kym Jade
Well this is getting exciting. Hope the kidnapped pair are in there. Loved the descriptions of the walk to the cabin and the chase. Looking forward to the next installment.
Typos:
About as from (far) from Bel Aire as you can get. (don't usually read the top)
What they(the) heck, where can they be going?"
Eyes wide, Jim stared at the formed (former) LAPD detective.
Love and blessings
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2008
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Well this is getting exciting. Hope the kidnapped pair are in there. Loved the descriptions of the walk to the cabin and the chase. Looking forward to the next installment.
Typos:
About as from (far) from Bel Aire as you can get. (don't usually read the top)
What they(the) heck, where can they be going?"
Eyes wide, Jim stared at the formed (former) LAPD detective.
Love and blessings
Comment Written 26-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2008
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Metcha Ladies!
Got the eagle eyes out! I got the other two, but never read the top notes. Thanks, cause that makes me look like a nut!
Thank you dear ladies. Always love to see your comments.
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from c_lucas
Very well written with good dialogue. It has good imagery and descriptive scheme. I didn't see any errors. Suspense is mounting and the promise of action is on the horizon.
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2008
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Very well written with good dialogue. It has good imagery and descriptive scheme. I didn't see any errors. Suspense is mounting and the promise of action is on the horizon.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2008
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Hey Charlie,
I'm getting nervous here. Always happens as I'm about to wrap up a book. I'm never sure the ending will satisfy. We've got a ways to go yet, but I'm still scared!
Hugs and big thanks,
Gayle
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Hi Gayle, satisfy your number one critic and you'll be find. You can meet her when you look into a mirror. Charlie
Comment from Dave M
Gayle,
From the ritz to the slums. You do a good job of describing the women's unease, but apparently, they were not spotted. I'm enjoying this story and want to learn how it all comes out.
I have a couple of comments:
"Tony bounded up the steps and sat at Jim's feet, indicating that nothing going on in back required attention." Just a suggestion: I'd write, "Tony bounded up the steps and sat at Jim's feet, indicating that nothing in the back required attention."
Eyes wide, Jim stared at the formed [former] LAPD detective. "Bad area, huh?" An obvious, uncorrectable typo.
Dave M
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2008
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Gayle,
From the ritz to the slums. You do a good job of describing the women's unease, but apparently, they were not spotted. I'm enjoying this story and want to learn how it all comes out.
I have a couple of comments:
"Tony bounded up the steps and sat at Jim's feet, indicating that nothing going on in back required attention." Just a suggestion: I'd write, "Tony bounded up the steps and sat at Jim's feet, indicating that nothing in the back required attention."
Eyes wide, Jim stared at the formed [former] LAPD detective. "Bad area, huh?" An obvious, uncorrectable typo.
Dave M
Comment Written 26-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2008
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Hey Dave,
I made that correction and will seriously consider your ideas...Tony bounded...I like your idea better. Don't need the going on...
Great eye, thanks my friend and I always appreciate your reviews,
Gayle
Comment from Korton
Dogs or no, my suggestion is that they get out of there with night setting in. I did a couple of jobs in Compton a few years ago and that's a place you don't want to be in the daytime. Another excellent chapter Gayle.
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reply by the author on 26-Aug-2008
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Dogs or no, my suggestion is that they get out of there with night setting in. I did a couple of jobs in Compton a few years ago and that's a place you don't want to be in the daytime. Another excellent chapter Gayle.
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Comment Written 26-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2008
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Hey Frank,
We're gonna get them out of there poste haste. I did a bit of research on Compton and it is the most violent city in the US per capita, and like 4th overall. Man, no place to get lost in.
Thanks for the great review and comments.
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from B L Man
I can see why you have gotten your books published. This is terrific. I only found one error, but other then that it is great.
Bonnie
indicating that nothing going on in back required attention. - that nothing (was) going on. Missing was. Or nothings going on in back that required attention. The sentence is missing something.
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reply by the author on 26-Aug-2008
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I can see why you have gotten your books published. This is terrific. I only found one error, but other then that it is great.
Bonnie
indicating that nothing going on in back required attention. - that nothing (was) going on. Missing was. Or nothings going on in back that required attention. The sentence is missing something.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2008
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Hi Bonnie,
So nice to see a new reader, especially one with an eagle eye. I'm going to rewrite that whole thing. It's clumsy and wordy to boot. Thank you for mentioning it and I hope to see you again soon.
Thanks,
Gayle
