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Stalker

Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "Andy Makes A Move"
Jim and Lenny are hired to find a stalker

22 total reviews 
Comment from Readywriter52
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The police are stumped. They only know that Candace Baker was kidnapped. They can't do much because the kidnappers left very few clues.

Andy Baker has turned to Lenny and Jim for help. They convince him to explain the project he's working on.

I think it will be difficult to discover who's behind the kidnapping. A man with a Russian accent isn't that good of a clue. He could be part of an government organization to a criminal organization. They could want to use the formula to create cheap energy or destroy it so no one could use it. The men need to investigate carefully. Who ever kidnapped Candace probably won't stop at murder.

 Comment Written 05-Aug-2008


reply by the author on 06-Aug-2008
    I think you're right, RW. Being Russian isn't much of a clue. They have to figure out a way to connect the dots, huh?

    Thanks for the wonderful comments and your support. It's appreciated!

    Gayle
Comment from Kym Jade
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Glad Andy explained what he has been working on and the possible consequences. He sure is in a dilemma.

Suggestion: Could you put something between these to paragraphs perhaps Andy calling or a time frame of say an estimate of how long it takes from the airport?
"Call me when you get here and I'll open the back door for you."


It wasn't long before three quick taps sounded on the back door.
Typo:
"That is gonna piss a whole lot of people off," Jim said, voice< delete his voice low,

Love and blessings

Hey on the radio this morning they were talking about mining the moon or moving asteroids to mine. Hope they do the maths well before anything like this happens, after all either could be put out of balance and cause Armageddon.

 Comment Written 05-Aug-2008


reply by the author on 06-Aug-2008
    Hey Girls!

    Yes, this is in the future, but it's all real. They just have a couple of ilttle things to finish, like the mining process!

    LOL, this is such fun! I'll get that tag out of there and thanks for the great comments!

    Hugs,
    Gayle
Comment from Dave M
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Gayle,

This is an excellent chapter, and I am glad Andy is leveling with Jim and Lenny. This, including his earlier reticence, makes the most sense. And yes, cold fusion would upset a lot of apple carts. BTW, the Russians have plenty of oil and natural gas. They make a fortune selling it to Western Europe.

Dave M

 Comment Written 05-Aug-2008


reply by the author on 06-Aug-2008
    Yep! Just another reason why they don't want the He-3. Anyone whose fortunes ride on the backs of oil will be quite upset.

    Thanks for stopping by, Dave, and for the great comments!

    Hugs,
    Gayle
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
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Ahh, Gayle, the truth is leaking out now. Just 51 years after Sputnik, the Russians are trying to beat us into space voyaging yet again, just for a different reason this time. Just can't trust those guys no matter how many times we save their buttinskies, eh?

 Comment Written 05-Aug-2008


reply by the author on 06-Aug-2008
    You got it, Jan. Never forget! Now, we have a couple of bad guys holding Candace and a man with a huge decision to make! YIKES!

    Thanks for the great read and review, my friend. Talk soon,

    Hugs,
    Gayle
Comment from ThyLordDracula
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another well written chapter - very interesting - it would be nice if cold fusion were real - oh well - one minor nit -


"That is gonna piss a whole lot of people off," Jim said, voice his voice low, thoughtful. "No more Gucci underneath the robes." - take out the first voice

respectfully ^v^

 Comment Written 05-Aug-2008


reply by the author on 06-Aug-2008
    Hello dear Drac,

    Google cold fusion...it's incredible to read and they figure maybe 15/20 years. On one hand, that seems like forever...on the other, a blink.

    I'll get that first 'voice' out of there. Thanks for the eagle eye and comments.

    Hope to see you again soon,
    Gayle
Comment from c_lucas
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Very well written with excellent dialogue, imagery and descriptive scheme. The suspense factor is rising steadily and Andy is ready to hit the Panic button. Good work.

 Comment Written 05-Aug-2008


reply by the author on 06-Aug-2008
    Hey Charlie,

    Can you imagine having to make a decision like that? Whew! And yes, I think panic is right where he's on the edge of. Let's hope our guys can calm him down long enough to find out the truth!

    Thanks again<~>

    Hugs,
    Gayle
reply by c_lucas on 06-Aug-2008
    It's has my interest. Chalie
Comment from Patrick G Cox
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Interesting premise, cold fusion as the alternative fuel of the future. Very well written dialogues too, so it holds the attention.

My only quibble is that you occassionally look a little repetitive in these - try using personal pronouns instead of repeating names.I have the same trouble sometimes and have to re-edit myself heavily sometimes.

Good luck.

 Comment Written 05-Aug-2008


reply by the author on 06-Aug-2008
    Hey Patrick,

    I do that too much....names. Must change out a couple for pronouns. Thanks for stopping by and for the wonderful comments. Hope to see you again soon,

    Gayle
Comment from mslink1
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Detective Riley and one of the uniformed officers stood in the driveway of the Baker estate.
(Will--Detective Riley and one uniformed officer stood in the driveway of the Baker estate. --Reason is simply to rid one of the ''the's'' from the sentence. No biggy, I suppose, but it jumped out at me.)

Unfortunately, I couldn't really critique this the way I wanted to, Gale. I have a pinched nerve and it almost kept me from reading this, but...
This is written very well and the story sounds intriguing. I love how you incorporated your knowledge of taste, lol, into the chapter. Sorry that I did not catch it from the beginning. Cannot wait to hear that this one will also be published. Love and hugs, Mary.

 Comment Written 05-Aug-2008


reply by the author on 06-Aug-2008
    Hey Mary,

    Sorry to hear you are under the weather. Pinched nerves are terrible. I'd wondered where you were and I'm delighted to see you could stop by, if only for a minute. I've missed you. Take care, get well and we'll talk soon,

    Hugs,
    Gayle
Comment from Korton
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Excellent continuation chapter with plenty of suspense and intrigue. From what little has been revealed about the kidnappers, my guess is that it is not a government, but most likely the Russian/Israeli Maffia. Very well done.

 Comment Written 05-Aug-2008


reply by the author on 06-Aug-2008
    Hey Frank,

    We have so much going on here, I can't wait until someone asks the right question and sends us down the right path! Will happen soon!

    Thanks for the great comments, my friend. I so appreciate you,

    Hugs,
    Gayle
Comment from jclark
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Wow! Lots of mystery and intrigue. Excellent character descriptions. I could "feel" the intensity and anticipation of all 3 men; but Andy was easy to visualize and I could almost feel myself start to sweat as he was telling his story. I must go back and get caught up on all the "players" and how this story came to be. I really enjoyed your writing.

 Comment Written 05-Aug-2008


reply by the author on 06-Aug-2008
    Hi J,

    My, a new reader always does this author's heart good. I really appreciate your comments and hope to see you back again! Thanks for the great review,

    Gayle