You are the One
A Morning Sonnet32 total reviews
Comment from June Sargent
What a beautiful tribute to your one and only! To be your rising and setting sun. That's peace and tranquil of heart that cannot be easily found. I hope this is biographical. Lovely sentiments.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2024
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What a beautiful tribute to your one and only! To be your rising and setting sun. That's peace and tranquil of heart that cannot be easily found. I hope this is biographical. Lovely sentiments.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2024
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Thank you June for the lovely review and kind comments. It is biographical - my husband has been ill this past year and he was thrilled to read this one.
It won 3rd place in the contest so I am thrilled as well.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from SimianSavant
This is a great sonnet, very well-constructed and focused.
I have a couple of suggestions on word choices.
The first word is a bit stronger for a pickup syllable than seems ideal. This is partly because of the "m" at the end of "warm" which is phonetically a little tricky transitioning to the g of "golden". I wonder if a simpler word like "the" might do the trick for you. Or for a stronger statement at the beginning, it could be MY golden sun, or HER, or WHOSE (asking a question).
Question about "transient" (line 9). I've always thought it was three syllables, have always heard it spoken that way, and when I look up how to pronounce it, it seems to be three. It looks the interwebs are divided on the subject though. To avoid the ambiguity, is there an alternate two-syllable word you might use that does the same job just as well for you?
e.g. muddled, smoke-filled -- there are probably hundreds of words that would work, but you're clearly looking for something specific.
Thanks for the read! The last line sounds very familiar...
SS
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2024
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This is a great sonnet, very well-constructed and focused.
I have a couple of suggestions on word choices.
The first word is a bit stronger for a pickup syllable than seems ideal. This is partly because of the "m" at the end of "warm" which is phonetically a little tricky transitioning to the g of "golden". I wonder if a simpler word like "the" might do the trick for you. Or for a stronger statement at the beginning, it could be MY golden sun, or HER, or WHOSE (asking a question).
Question about "transient" (line 9). I've always thought it was three syllables, have always heard it spoken that way, and when I look up how to pronounce it, it seems to be three. It looks the interwebs are divided on the subject though. To avoid the ambiguity, is there an alternate two-syllable word you might use that does the same job just as well for you?
e.g. muddled, smoke-filled -- there are probably hundreds of words that would work, but you're clearly looking for something specific.
Thanks for the read! The last line sounds very familiar...
SS
Comment Written 01-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2024
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Thank you SS for your thoughtful and encouraging review. I greatly appreciate your kind suggestions for improvement to the sonnet.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from Val Crisson
Simply gorgeous sonnet, Janet. You combine the love of dawn, with the much more important soul searching of what makes one "tick" The line "but in the glow, I see a transient dream" - is very powerful about the transition of dawn to day. I read this two ways, because of I know of your love for God and your family. It may be me but I see both shown here. Wonderful
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2024
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Simply gorgeous sonnet, Janet. You combine the love of dawn, with the much more important soul searching of what makes one "tick" The line "but in the glow, I see a transient dream" - is very powerful about the transition of dawn to day. I read this two ways, because of I know of your love for God and your family. It may be me but I see both shown here. Wonderful
Comment Written 01-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2024
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Dear Val.
Thank you for this wonderful review and special stars. You do know me very well. You are the only one to pick up on the spiritual connotation in my sonnet. As I wrote it, I was drawn to that aspect - He is my morning and my setting sun.
Someone wrote that that phrase is familiar or common but it speaks to me on many levels.
Hope you had a wonderful Easter wishing you the very best.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from Verna Cole Mitchell
What a lovely sonnet this is. I enjoy reading the love that fills it. Your syllabication and rhyme choice of words make this a worthy contestant for the Sonnet Contest.
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2024
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What a lovely sonnet this is. I enjoy reading the love that fills it. Your syllabication and rhyme choice of words make this a worthy contestant for the Sonnet Contest.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2024
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Thank you Verna for the encouraging review. I always appreciate hearing from you.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This is a beautiful sonnet contest entry. Thank you for sharing it with us. I happen to be a fan of sonnets. I don't understand all the technical things that surround them, but I do enjoy reading them. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2024
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This is a beautiful sonnet contest entry. Thank you for sharing it with us. I happen to be a fan of sonnets. I don't understand all the technical things that surround them, but I do enjoy reading them. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2024
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Thank you Barbara for the encouraging review and good wishes. I agree, sonnets are fun to read.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Nice image and presentation, Janet.
-Effective imagery and rhyme.
-The first section is filled with nature
and hope and happiness.
-In the second section nature continues
to provide "peace and love" with
the songs of songbirds.
-A good turn as you write about
"a transient dream" and "restless sleep."
-A very good closing couplet.
-Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2024
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-Nice image and presentation, Janet.
-Effective imagery and rhyme.
-The first section is filled with nature
and hope and happiness.
-In the second section nature continues
to provide "peace and love" with
the songs of songbirds.
-A good turn as you write about
"a transient dream" and "restless sleep."
-A very good closing couplet.
-Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2024
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Thank you Pam for the encouraging and detailed review. I'm so pleased that you enjoyed this one. It's always my pleasure to hear from you.
Blessings
Janet
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You are very welcome, Janet.
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Janet,
This is a good sonnet that could be about love of nature, human love or divine love.
The words use imagery and soun to portray the beauty of sunrise that matches the artwork.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Congrats for placing third in the contest.
Have a great rest of your day.
Joan
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2024
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Hi Janet,
This is a good sonnet that could be about love of nature, human love or divine love.
The words use imagery and soun to portray the beauty of sunrise that matches the artwork.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Congrats for placing third in the contest.
Have a great rest of your day.
Joan
Comment Written 01-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2024
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Thank you Joan for the encouraging review and good wishes. I always appreciate hearing from you.
Blessings
Janet
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You are most kindly welcome, Janet.
Joan
Comment from jim vecchio
This was a beautiful poetic way of expressing a True Love. Whoever it is directed to, he is a very fortunate person. You chose a perfect color scheme and photo to compliment your fine words.
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2024
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This was a beautiful poetic way of expressing a True Love. Whoever it is directed to, he is a very fortunate person. You chose a perfect color scheme and photo to compliment your fine words.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2024
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Thank you Jim or the encouraging review and kind words. It's always my pleasure to hear from you.
Blessings
Janet
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That pleasure works both ways!
Comment from Ulla
Hi Janet, what a lovely Sonnet this is about the deep love you feel for that one person in your life. The Sonnet is by far my favourite poetic form. I wish I could attempt to write one but I wouldn't know how. Ulla xcx
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2024
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Hi Janet, what a lovely Sonnet this is about the deep love you feel for that one person in your life. The Sonnet is by far my favourite poetic form. I wish I could attempt to write one but I wouldn't know how. Ulla xcx
Comment Written 01-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2024
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Thank you Ulla for this thoughtful and most encouraging review. I love sonnets too but don?t write them very often. I always appreciate hearing from you.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from QC Poet
Having read all elements needed for the creation of a sonnet I find this entry both conforming and very beautifully written written. Thanks for Sharing your poetic experience with us.
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2024
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Having read all elements needed for the creation of a sonnet I find this entry both conforming and very beautifully written written. Thanks for Sharing your poetic experience with us.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2024
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Thank you for your thoughtful and encouraging review. So pleased you enjoyed it.
Blessings
Janet
