Reviews from

Tucker-The Resurrection (Part-8)

Tucker and Farnsworth meet again.

28 total reviews 
Comment from Douglas Goff
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Whew, a bit long, but a good read. I am not sure how 'elite' those non-shooting assassins were.


Great action sequence.
Thanks for sharing.
D

 Comment Written 15-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 15-Aug-2023
    Thanks so much, Douglas, for taking time out to read my foolishness. I don't know if they were really bad shots or Tucker dodged well. LOL. Sorry it was a little long. I try to keep chapters to 1,200 words or less, but this one slipped to 1,400. I appreciate your generous review!
reply by Douglas Goff on 15-Aug-2023
    It is an interesting read, my friend.
Comment from John Ciarmello
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Damn! I miss your style, my friend! This is a fantastic chapter and I slid right into it like the barrage of bullets whizzing past Tucker! I'm super happy to see you again, my friend! I love this saga! Best, JohnC

 Comment Written 15-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 15-Aug-2023
    Thank you so much, John, for your generous review and kind words. Tucker is just an old man's ramblings about all the things he isn't able to do himself anymore. LOL. I had decided to let Tucker and Farnsworth be dead, but when people kept asking, I decided to resurrect them. But with fewer than normal reviews, I guess I'll junk that idea. It's always a pleasure to read your posts and get your kind and generous reviews! I appreciate YOU!
Comment from LJbutterfly
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Yay, Tucker is back. This episode is fast moving and action packed, with a bit of humor, and filled with your usual metaphors and vivid, heart stopping descriptions. In the end, Tucker and Farnsworth have no way out, unless this turns into a fantasy piece and a mystical fairy makes them disappear. Otherwise, how will you get them out alive?

Noteworthy:
dismantling furniture like a weedwhacker shreds grass
lard-butt neanderthal and buffalo blob...hilarious

 Comment Written 14-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 14-Aug-2023
    Thank you so much, Lorraine, for your extra special six-star review and kind words. Yes, I've painted these goofballs into a corner that will probably take someone smarter than me to get this out of this time. Maybe it's time to start plotting and outlining rather being a pantser. LOL. I appreciate YOU!
Comment from jenintorre
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Phew!! I am exhausted after reading this great and fast paced episode.
You certainly have exceptional gun knowledge. Very impressive.
Typo - The not so welcoming entourage drug Tucker. (Did you mean dragged.)
I think Tucker must be a cat as he has 9 lives at least.
Surely you have another winner here. Take care. Jen. X

 Comment Written 14-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 14-Aug-2023
    Dragged is the past tense and past participle form of the verb drag that's considered standard. In some American dialects, drug is used as the past tense and past participle form of drag?and can be used in all the same ways that dragged is. This use is usually considered nonstandard.

    But, thanks for pointing it out and I'll change it to dragged immediately. :-)

    Thank you so much, Jen, for your wonderful and encouraging review. I'm never happy until I've received your reviews on anything I post. I was done with Tucker and was going let him and Farnsworth stay dead, but people kept asking for more. So, I had try and bring them back. LOL. Hope all is well in your world. I appreciate YOU!
Comment from Bruce Carrington
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Flying fragments of glass, foam, feathers, and wood, among other things, resembled an interstellar vision of magnified cosmic dust under lights.

I know where I will get my inspiration from when I draft something about shooting the machine guns. Loving the dialogue and the action. It's from your time running away from the cartel? Need to start from the beginning cause I'm really interested in getting to know the Ric Myworld background. Truly wonderful.

Smallest of things - "The Special Oops"

 Comment Written 14-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 14-Aug-2023
    Thank you so much, Bruce, for your extra special six-star review and kind words. And for starting my day off with a laugh, that I shouldn't find funny. That's me an "Oops" kind of guy. If there is a pile, I'll step in it. And unlike most, I'll probably laugh about it too. I appreciate your pleasant and encouraging review!
Comment from nor84
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

"Five intruders rushed in and unleashed sharp, explosive rat-a-tat-tats of machinegun fire, ripping the living room apart. Flying fragments of glass, foam, feathers, and wood, among other things, resembled an interstellar vision of magnified cosmic dust under lights."

For me, the simile at the end about cosmic dust makes this action sentence too long and kills the excitement of the flying bullets. I like similes, just not in action scenes and there's another one that follows shortly. You want to keep the action pounding, the excitement building.
There's a short explanation about the pistols used, but that slows down the action even further. As a reader, I want to BE the main character, living the story through his actions, thoughts and reactions.

I realize that I'm coming in rather late to the story, but I would have advised you early-on to show instead of tell, and to show from the point of view of the main character.

You can do it in 3rd person. Instead of "Tucker's lungs were most likely aflame: burning with every breath," which makes it clear that a narrator is guessing that Tucker's lungs are 'most likely aflame,' try this:
"I'm running out of options...." Tucker gasped, lungs aflame, then muttered, "what now?"

In that bit he is expressing his feelings aloud. If he were just thinking I'd suggest italics with no quotes.

I hope I've given you a few things to think about. Mainly, the reader wants to see what the main character sees, hear with the main character hears, and experience the character through character's 5 senses. Yes, I mean all 5 senses. If he tastes something unpleasant, you need to describe the taste. If he hears a loud unpleasant noise, he needs to react to it. I think you get my point.

It helps if you can pretend you are the character. How would you react if you were going through this?

There is a book I can recommend called THE EMOTION THESAURUS. You can get it on Amazon. It will help you get more into the character's head. It's written by two psychologists who have an entire series of books on writing. I hope I've been helpful, Rick. I would also recommend THE WRITER'S GUIDE TO DEEP POINT OF VIEW by S. A. Soule.


This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 14-Aug-2023
    Thanks, Nor84, for taking time out to read my chapter and for all your advice and suggestions. I chose to write this in 3rd person and throw in a few places to slow down the action and let people catch their breath. But it appears I should have just written it in 1st person and described what the character was feeling. Bad choice on my part. I have both of the books you suggested. Thanks again for all the time you spend on this review.
Comment from Jay Squires
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is some intense action, extended for what must have been 2,000 words, but leaving me with the same eagerness I felt with the first couple hundred. I'm not kidding! You have a gift for noir adventure and you push your imagination, and the readers, to the hilt!

I've missed Tucker but he hasn't lost anything on his vacation!

Jay

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 14-Aug-2023
    Thank you, Jay, for hanging in there with my long, drown-out, story. I had intended to leave readers thinking they both were probably dead, but people kept asking me to bring them back, so I did. This time, I think I'll kill them both in a graphic way. LOL. No, probably not. Thanks for your kind and encouraging review!
Comment from country ranch writer
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hood be us a quick thinker before the scum vine back in with the rest if thebtrasg speaking Spanish Gouls.
Let's hope Tucker has a gimmick up his sleeves parden the pun.
Entertaining to say the least.

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 13-Aug-2023
    Thank you so much, Barbara, for your extra special six-star review and kind words. I appreciate your always encouraging reviews and taking time out to read more of my foolishness. Much appreciated!
reply by country ranch writer on 13-Aug-2023
    My pleasure
Comment from lyenochka
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hooray! Tucker is back!!! And a new challenge is to work with his once nemesis, Farnsworth, to survive! Great opening scene with fabulous descriptions and action with lots of details!

I loved the simile of "resembled an interstellar vision of magnified cosmic dust under lights."

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 13-Aug-2023
    Thank you so much, Helen, for your extra special six-star review and kind words. I'm thankful for your generosity and constant encouragement every day. I appreciate YOU!
Comment from nomi338
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

No, no, hell no! How could you take me this far, close the door and leave me in the dark? I am ready to go all in on this thrilling, compelling action adventure, only to be told to tune in on another day. Same bat channel, same bat time. Argh!
This is damn good writing, but you already know that. Wow!

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 13-Aug-2023
    Thank you so much, Nomi, for your extra special six-star review and kind words. And your saying, "Same bat channel, same bat time," a saying I've used my whole life. I've always felt we had a lot in common; although, I might not manage to stay as close to the cross. I hate to keep my dedicated readers like you hanging, but I have to find a way to keep some others coming back.
    I appreciate you my friend!
reply by nomi338 on 13-Aug-2023
    Please know It was not a criticism, your crafty and suspenseful writing is what keeps me coming back for more. Do not ever stop being you.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2023
    I never worry about the little things, and I'm certainly not above criticism. But I didn't take it that way. You are a find gentleman who exudes kindness and consideration with every word. It's always a pleasure to read your work, or get your kind and encouraging reviews!
reply by nomi338 on 14-Aug-2023
    Thank you.