Reviews from

The Chase

tiny tale about a big ape

16 total reviews 
Comment from SimianSavant
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embaressed <= embarrassed

A Guinea pig named Yeti is a strong-willed lady? Wow, now I have seen everything. Make sure you throw in a hyphen though between strong and willed.

This gets a five from me because you have an ape and a banana. Keep posting about these topics and Harambe will reward you.

I think there could be a little more tension between the characters to make the reader eager to see what is coming next. What you are doing, in the present verb tense, can be quite difficult. Take a look at this example which uses the same verb tense -- perhaps it will give you some ideas!

Best,


 Comment Written 16-Dec-2021


reply by the author on 04-Jan-2022
    Thank you for your suggestions, these are areas I am weak in. Thanks for reading my poem and your thoughtful review. In addition to mermaids, I am a primate fanatic, love the Great Apes so I adore your pen name. Thanks again. Elaine
reply by SimianSavant on 05-Jan-2022
    I am very glad to hear that. About a quarter of my entries are about gorillas or bananas. I have not written anything about bananas in a couple of weeks, so this was a good reminder. Thank you.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2022
    I am also a banana fanatic. I use to bake banana bread and muffins. Bring on the banana poems! Elaine
Comment from Paul McFarland
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This would be a really good story for young kids. It is short enough to hold a young ones interest, and there is tension that is necessary for youngsters to stay focused.

 Comment Written 16-Dec-2021


reply by the author on 04-Jan-2022
    Thank you for reading and enjoying. Elaine
Comment from country ranch writer
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Enjoyed your cute rendition of big foot. I could picture the yeti chasing hi,. So glad he made friends with her, everyone needs a friend now and again.

 Comment Written 15-Dec-2021


reply by the author on 15-Dec-2021
    Thanks for reading and enjoying. Elaine
Comment from Gert sherwood
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The Chase
mermaids story about the big ape, was fun to read, I can see your story would be fun for children to hear how the big ape an guinea pig, became friends.
Gert

 Comment Written 14-Dec-2021


reply by the author on 15-Dec-2021
    Thank you for reading and enjoying. Elaine
reply by Gert sherwood on 15-Dec-2021
    You are so Welcome mermaids
    Gert
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
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Nothing happens without a cause, a bigfoot run, a chase is right, it was Yeti, human name given, she charged one of your cats, Yeti chases a Bigfoot, no wonder, all the guinea pigs go crazy naturally for yogurt treats, everything ends up friendly; well said, well done; keep writing. ALCREATOR LITT DEAR

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 Comment Written 14-Dec-2021


reply by the author on 15-Dec-2021
    Love your review, thanks so much. Elaine
Comment from moongirlwriter
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We had guinea pigs as well. . .only our cat wasn't afraid. Our dog just barked at them. They were my daughter's 4-H entry in the County Fair.
They are fun but we didn't have yogurt treats back then. . .only lettuce.
This is VERY cute, creative. While reading, I noticed a couple of typos. . .I think anyway. Best of luck with this piece. :)

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 Comment Written 14-Dec-2021


reply by the author on 15-Dec-2021
    Thank you for reading and enjoying my guinea pig and Bigfoot tale. Elaine