The Chase
tiny tale about a big ape16 total reviews
Comment from SimianSavant
embaressed <= embarrassed
A Guinea pig named Yeti is a strong-willed lady? Wow, now I have seen everything. Make sure you throw in a hyphen though between strong and willed.
This gets a five from me because you have an ape and a banana. Keep posting about these topics and Harambe will reward you.
I think there could be a little more tension between the characters to make the reader eager to see what is coming next. What you are doing, in the present verb tense, can be quite difficult. Take a look at this example which uses the same verb tense -- perhaps it will give you some ideas!
Best,
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2022
embaressed <= embarrassed
A Guinea pig named Yeti is a strong-willed lady? Wow, now I have seen everything. Make sure you throw in a hyphen though between strong and willed.
This gets a five from me because you have an ape and a banana. Keep posting about these topics and Harambe will reward you.
I think there could be a little more tension between the characters to make the reader eager to see what is coming next. What you are doing, in the present verb tense, can be quite difficult. Take a look at this example which uses the same verb tense -- perhaps it will give you some ideas!
Best,
Comment Written 16-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2022
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Thank you for your suggestions, these are areas I am weak in. Thanks for reading my poem and your thoughtful review. In addition to mermaids, I am a primate fanatic, love the Great Apes so I adore your pen name. Thanks again. Elaine
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I am very glad to hear that. About a quarter of my entries are about gorillas or bananas. I have not written anything about bananas in a couple of weeks, so this was a good reminder. Thank you.
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I am also a banana fanatic. I use to bake banana bread and muffins. Bring on the banana poems! Elaine
Comment from Paul McFarland
This would be a really good story for young kids. It is short enough to hold a young ones interest, and there is tension that is necessary for youngsters to stay focused.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2022
This would be a really good story for young kids. It is short enough to hold a young ones interest, and there is tension that is necessary for youngsters to stay focused.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2022
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Thank you for reading and enjoying. Elaine
Comment from country ranch writer
Enjoyed your cute rendition of big foot. I could picture the yeti chasing hi,. So glad he made friends with her, everyone needs a friend now and again.
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2021
Enjoyed your cute rendition of big foot. I could picture the yeti chasing hi,. So glad he made friends with her, everyone needs a friend now and again.
Comment Written 15-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2021
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Thanks for reading and enjoying. Elaine
Comment from Gert sherwood
The Chase
mermaids story about the big ape, was fun to read, I can see your story would be fun for children to hear how the big ape an guinea pig, became friends.
Gert
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2021
The Chase
mermaids story about the big ape, was fun to read, I can see your story would be fun for children to hear how the big ape an guinea pig, became friends.
Gert
Comment Written 14-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2021
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Thank you for reading and enjoying. Elaine
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You are so Welcome mermaids
Gert
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Nothing happens without a cause, a bigfoot run, a chase is right, it was Yeti, human name given, she charged one of your cats, Yeti chases a Bigfoot, no wonder, all the guinea pigs go crazy naturally for yogurt treats, everything ends up friendly; well said, well done; keep writing. ALCREATOR LITT DEAR
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reply by the author on 15-Dec-2021
Nothing happens without a cause, a bigfoot run, a chase is right, it was Yeti, human name given, she charged one of your cats, Yeti chases a Bigfoot, no wonder, all the guinea pigs go crazy naturally for yogurt treats, everything ends up friendly; well said, well done; keep writing. ALCREATOR LITT DEAR
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2021
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Love your review, thanks so much. Elaine
Comment from moongirlwriter
We had guinea pigs as well. . .only our cat wasn't afraid. Our dog just barked at them. They were my daughter's 4-H entry in the County Fair.
They are fun but we didn't have yogurt treats back then. . .only lettuce.
This is VERY cute, creative. While reading, I noticed a couple of typos. . .I think anyway. Best of luck with this piece. :)
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reply by the author on 15-Dec-2021
We had guinea pigs as well. . .only our cat wasn't afraid. Our dog just barked at them. They were my daughter's 4-H entry in the County Fair.
They are fun but we didn't have yogurt treats back then. . .only lettuce.
This is VERY cute, creative. While reading, I noticed a couple of typos. . .I think anyway. Best of luck with this piece. :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2021
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Thank you for reading and enjoying my guinea pig and Bigfoot tale. Elaine