Empty Seat, Empty Life
a romantic story about seniors20 total reviews
Comment from mermaids
I enjoyed reading your story. It is great to read a happy tale about seniors. You have well developed characters that the reader cares about and a story line that flows smoothly. I am glad Nora was alright.
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2021
I enjoyed reading your story. It is great to read a happy tale about seniors. You have well developed characters that the reader cares about and a story line that flows smoothly. I am glad Nora was alright.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2021
-
Thank you very much, mermaids, for reading my lengthy story and your review. I am delighted you enjoyed my "happy tale about seniors."
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Ah, this is so sweet and very romantic. I enjoyed reading this contest entry. This entry had all the ingredients for a story, characters, problem, solution, setting and plot. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2021
Ah, this is so sweet and very romantic. I enjoyed reading this contest entry. This entry had all the ingredients for a story, characters, problem, solution, setting and plot. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2021
-
Thank you very much, barbara, for taking the time to read my lengthy story and your kind praise.
Comment from GollyGreen32
Hi!
I enjoyed your sweet story. I liked the ending because Nora did not die, but got caught up in her cell phone, like so many of us younger people do these days. The trip to Monte Carlo was a nice touch. They were going to have some fun in their old age. Great job. Have a blessed week.
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2021
Hi!
I enjoyed your sweet story. I liked the ending because Nora did not die, but got caught up in her cell phone, like so many of us younger people do these days. The trip to Monte Carlo was a nice touch. They were going to have some fun in their old age. Great job. Have a blessed week.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2021
-
Thank you very much, GollyGreen, for taking the time to read this lengthy story and reviewing. I am so pleased you enjoyed it.
Comment from Midi O'Rourke
Very nice story and well written. The dialogue is realistic and believable as is the Walter character. I thought you were going to kill off Nora. I wonder how they will fare in Monte Carlo.
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2021
Very nice story and well written. The dialogue is realistic and believable as is the Walter character. I thought you were going to kill off Nora. I wonder how they will fare in Monte Carlo.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2021
-
Thank you, Midi O, for reading and reviewing my lengthy story. I am very pleased you liked the dialog and Walter's character.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
What a fun fiction contest entry, Mystery Author. I enjoyed reading it. You characterized Walter and Nora well. I could visualize both. What a great ending for them. They belong together. Their trip to Monte Carlo is the icing on the cake.
Best wishes in the contest.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2021
What a fun fiction contest entry, Mystery Author. I enjoyed reading it. You characterized Walter and Nora well. I could visualize both. What a great ending for them. They belong together. Their trip to Monte Carlo is the icing on the cake.
Best wishes in the contest.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 13-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2021
-
I am so pleased you enjoyed my Senior Romance, Jan, especially the ending. Thank you for reviewing and your best wishes.
Comment from LisaMay
I still don't know why Nora wasn't on the bus, but your story took me on a wonderful ride with these seniors on their gambling day out. Great descriptions and the emotional impact wasn't overdone. Cool story.
Suggestions:
*. *. * (put a line space above where these occur)
"Have fun, Walter. Win big!" . (the last full stop is unnecessary)
five times longer than Walter. He also had to smell it. (In the story some of these words appear in a smaller font size: Walter. He also had to smell it.)
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2021
I still don't know why Nora wasn't on the bus, but your story took me on a wonderful ride with these seniors on their gambling day out. Great descriptions and the emotional impact wasn't overdone. Cool story.
Suggestions:
*. *. * (put a line space above where these occur)
"Have fun, Walter. Win big!" . (the last full stop is unnecessary)
five times longer than Walter. He also had to smell it. (In the story some of these words appear in a smaller font size: Walter. He also had to smell it.)
Comment Written 13-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2021
-
Nora got caught up with all the text messages from friends and missed the bus. Thank you, Lisa, for reading my lengthy story and taking the time to make suggestions. Another reviewer suggested using a # to show a scene change.
Comment from zanya
A- -W-W a tale to bring a smile -not just monetary luck but much more importantly lucky in love - so well told- our human hearts tell us what truly matters
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2021
A- -W-W a tale to bring a smile -not just monetary luck but much more importantly lucky in love - so well told- our human hearts tell us what truly matters
Comment Written 13-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2021
-
Thank you, zanya, for sharing my lengthy tale. I am delighted it brought a smile.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
I have to admit that as I was reading this I began to fear the worst for Nora! lol
This was a very good piece which quite drew me in as it went along.
*. *. * - just use a single marking to denote the change such a centred # (same thing later on too)
"Have fun, Walter. Win big!" .- you don't need the period as the dialogue closes the sentence off with the exclamation mark.
For awhile his luck turned. - in this instance a while should probably be two words.
Nora's friends." After squinting at the sum- delete the unnecessary speech marks here.
longer than Walter. He also had to smell it.- font size change here.
hearing impaired, near-sighted folks like him. - folk can be used as plural here.
All the best
GMG
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2021
Hi there,
I have to admit that as I was reading this I began to fear the worst for Nora! lol
This was a very good piece which quite drew me in as it went along.
*. *. * - just use a single marking to denote the change such a centred # (same thing later on too)
"Have fun, Walter. Win big!" .- you don't need the period as the dialogue closes the sentence off with the exclamation mark.
For awhile his luck turned. - in this instance a while should probably be two words.
Nora's friends." After squinting at the sum- delete the unnecessary speech marks here.
longer than Walter. He also had to smell it.- font size change here.
hearing impaired, near-sighted folks like him. - folk can be used as plural here.
All the best
GMG
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2021
-
Thank you very much, giraffmang, for taking the time to read my story closely. I especially appreciate all your comments and suggestions.
Comment from royowen
My mum was an addict on the "pokies" until her dying day, I had to pick her up from the casino late at night a few times, then she'd stay there all night, even in her last 3 months, she'd wanted to go to the pub to play them, but never won the "big" one. I think I identified with Nora and Walter, and even though gambling is so bad, I'm glad he won. "The day he won the big one!" Beautifully written, good onya Walter, well done, blessings Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021
My mum was an addict on the "pokies" until her dying day, I had to pick her up from the casino late at night a few times, then she'd stay there all night, even in her last 3 months, she'd wanted to go to the pub to play them, but never won the "big" one. I think I identified with Nora and Walter, and even though gambling is so bad, I'm glad he won. "The day he won the big one!" Beautifully written, good onya Walter, well done, blessings Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021
-
Thank you so much, Roy, for sharing my story and your kind praise. My mother also loved to gamble in Reno?s casinos and played bingo. She DID win the big one once..
-
Well done, good job
Comment from SHABAMO
This was so sweet! It was very well written capturing the crotchety old man and his new late in life love that was hard to admit. The descriptions were fantastic. Thanks for writing this!
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021
This was so sweet! It was very well written capturing the crotchety old man and his new late in life love that was hard to admit. The descriptions were fantastic. Thanks for writing this!
Comment Written 13-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021
-
Thank you so much, SHABAMO, for your kind praise of my story and those six bright stars.