The Boat
A 5-7-5 poetry contest entry.214 total reviews
Comment from garrymc5
Like it. Uses the contradictory word to subvert a logic.
So stone still forgets the past. We are all present to know what follows, and the imaginary problem, giving us wonder.
Very likable.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Like it. Uses the contradictory word to subvert a logic.
So stone still forgets the past. We are all present to know what follows, and the imaginary problem, giving us wonder.
Very likable.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Thank you very much for your kind review... I love all the different ways that the reader can see it!
- G
Comment from Nuad1
I liked this work; liked the artwork attached to it. Your idea in creating this is very similar to how I, too, saw it. Funny, right? How we "think" we are choosing appropriately only to experience we did not: this work was thought provoking AND a lesson to be remembered.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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I liked this work; liked the artwork attached to it. Your idea in creating this is very similar to how I, too, saw it. Funny, right? How we "think" we are choosing appropriately only to experience we did not: this work was thought provoking AND a lesson to be remembered.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Thank you for your very kind words and you wonderful complement :P very appreciative.
- G
Comment from Tessa Kay
Words are amazing, aren't they. With just a few syllables
you can tell a whole story and evoke a yes-that's-exactly-what-happened-to-me feeling.
Enjoyed your 5-7-5. It had a nice flow to it.
Only thing that made me wonder, was the title. If I'm on the pier, where does the boat come in? Maybe I just have to think about it a little longer.
All the best for the competition.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Words are amazing, aren't they. With just a few syllables
you can tell a whole story and evoke a yes-that's-exactly-what-happened-to-me feeling.
Enjoyed your 5-7-5. It had a nice flow to it.
Only thing that made me wonder, was the title. If I'm on the pier, where does the boat come in? Maybe I just have to think about it a little longer.
All the best for the competition.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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The boat is the moment when we snap out of the trance and someone helps us know what to do. I will consider changing the name though.
- G
Comment from Righteous Riter
stone still, on the pier
yet I know not how to steer
how did I get here?
The syllable count is count. Good rhyming with pier/steer/here. Good alliteration in stone and still. Nice complimenting photo. Good job.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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stone still, on the pier
yet I know not how to steer
how did I get here?
The syllable count is count. Good rhyming with pier/steer/here. Good alliteration in stone and still. Nice complimenting photo. Good job.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Thank you Righteous Riter, very nice to be getting a sixer from you :P
- G
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i mean a fiver which is really just a five... xD :P not a fiver, >.> I'm glad im getting five stars from the #5 ranked reviewer on the first piece of poetry I have ever made on this site should I say.
Comment from michaelcahill
so very much appreciated when these pieces are composed with thought and meaning. so often just a little blurb about leaves falling and sunshine. this is quite thought provoking and really indicative of life's journey in general. sometimes with all the purpose in the world we end up in the same spot that others just drift to. great piece. will look for it come voting time. mike
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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so very much appreciated when these pieces are composed with thought and meaning. so often just a little blurb about leaves falling and sunshine. this is quite thought provoking and really indicative of life's journey in general. sometimes with all the purpose in the world we end up in the same spot that others just drift to. great piece. will look for it come voting time. mike
Comment Written 20-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Thank you very much for your vote!!! :P makes my chest swell with pride now that my poem has gotten all time best status! ITS all of you that has made this happen so thank you.
- G
Comment from Steve Pantazis
Very thought-provoking indeed! I appreciate the noggin-jarring verbiage. The only answer I can come up with to your last line is the narrator having either amnesia or being drugged, blindfolded and dropped off. Of course, that wasn't your intent, but it would make for a nice opener to a thriller or mystery.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Very thought-provoking indeed! I appreciate the noggin-jarring verbiage. The only answer I can come up with to your last line is the narrator having either amnesia or being drugged, blindfolded and dropped off. Of course, that wasn't your intent, but it would make for a nice opener to a thriller or mystery.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Yes, That would be quite strange, and a good start. hmmmmmm maybe ill make a short story with that. :P thanks for the idea!
- G
Comment from rjuselius
Stone still, on the pier,
Yet I know not how to steer,
How did I get here?
witty little piece of poetry! i'm assumming the boat was marooned.
thank you for sharing!
good luck in the contest!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Stone still, on the pier,
Yet I know not how to steer,
How did I get here?
witty little piece of poetry! i'm assumming the boat was marooned.
thank you for sharing!
good luck in the contest!
rebekka x
Comment Written 20-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Thank you for your well wishing! Truly it is meant to be deeper, like a physiological state that the reader is in or that we all find ourselves in at one time. "where am I at? I dont know what im doing!!!" :P just capturing the funny awkwardness's of those moments in word form.
- G
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
A slice of human feeling is visually projected, how we feel often after getting into somewhere and we start feeling how we reached there, we wish to assimilate wish and getting, a nice thought explored.17/920
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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A slice of human feeling is visually projected, how we feel often after getting into somewhere and we start feeling how we reached there, we wish to assimilate wish and getting, a nice thought explored.17/920
Comment Written 20-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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I appreciate your like and your appreciation of my work!
- G
Comment from Uniqusatya
Yes,often people are fallen in this trap and your words have every expression of a person in that state.Though not so sure of the syllable count,it did make a great read.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Yes,often people are fallen in this trap and your words have every expression of a person in that state.Though not so sure of the syllable count,it did make a great read.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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I worked and reworked over the syllable count to polish it off to where it fit the 5-7-5 specifications, another reviewer pointed it out to me about a month ago. I'm actually quite glad for it now! I didn't want to be on the first page and get lots of reviews saying its wrong lol! :P thank you for the five nevertheless! Fan me if you wish, im getting an account soon!
- G
Comment from FrannyG
Yes, it is quite philosophical and does allow for different applications depending on the reader. That's a point in its favour. It also contains a suggestion that it's OK wherever you find yourself; it has a comforting tone to it. It is thought-provoking and very well written.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Yes, it is quite philosophical and does allow for different applications depending on the reader. That's a point in its favour. It also contains a suggestion that it's OK wherever you find yourself; it has a comforting tone to it. It is thought-provoking and very well written.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Thank you for your quite generous review of my poem... :P Much appreciated!
- G