Surcease
a mirage poem168 total reviews
Comment from vkmack
Lovely quatrains with such sweet rhyming schemes. The refrain works very well here. The word psalm is just right, as is the word surcease. That final stanza hits hard on this theme of peace and its importance. Very pleasant intro to the mirage form, with which I was previously unfamiliar. Thanks.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
Lovely quatrains with such sweet rhyming schemes. The refrain works very well here. The word psalm is just right, as is the word surcease. That final stanza hits hard on this theme of peace and its importance. Very pleasant intro to the mirage form, with which I was previously unfamiliar. Thanks.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
-
vkmack, thank you so very much :-) Brooke
Comment from The Guardian
Such an interesting poetry form where the first two lines of the first stanza are repeated as the final two lines of the second stanza. In English, changing the punctuation in a sentence can change the meaning or switching the construction of a phrase can make or break the impact. But in this repetitive form, the repetition actually reinforces the meaning. I'm fascinated. Have never written one like this and am inspired.
Beautiful verse.
Merle
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
Such an interesting poetry form where the first two lines of the first stanza are repeated as the final two lines of the second stanza. In English, changing the punctuation in a sentence can change the meaning or switching the construction of a phrase can make or break the impact. But in this repetitive form, the repetition actually reinforces the meaning. I'm fascinated. Have never written one like this and am inspired.
Beautiful verse.
Merle
Comment Written 14-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
-
Merle, thank you so very much :-) Brooke
Comment from GWinterwin
Very good poem my friend. Your good word flow and rhyming as you tell a story about the time just before dawn. Yes there is a time just before the break of dawn it is still quiet. Another great writing my friend.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
Very good poem my friend. Your good word flow and rhyming as you tell a story about the time just before dawn. Yes there is a time just before the break of dawn it is still quiet. Another great writing my friend.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
-
GWinterwin, thank you so very much :-) Brooke
Comment from juliaSjames
Lovely poem. In your skilled hands the descending lines flow smoothly with beauty and meaning.
I felt peace embrace me just from reading.
Indeed there is power in silence - like a rest stop in music it's part of the melody of life.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
Lovely poem. In your skilled hands the descending lines flow smoothly with beauty and meaning.
I felt peace embrace me just from reading.
Indeed there is power in silence - like a rest stop in music it's part of the melody of life.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
-
Julia, thank you so very much :-) Brooke
Comment from Opal H.
Yes, there is very less time in the day when things are so peaceful. The dawn is one such time when beauty meets silence and peace washes over.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
Yes, there is very less time in the day when things are so peaceful. The dawn is one such time when beauty meets silence and peace washes over.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
-
Opal, thank you so very much :-) Brooke
Comment from fairy77
That was lovely and loved the sentiment:)Loved starlings song and much of peace. It was enjoyable and truly divine.I liked it very much:)Beth fairy77.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
That was lovely and loved the sentiment:)Loved starlings song and much of peace. It was enjoyable and truly divine.I liked it very much:)Beth fairy77.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
-
Beth, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Hi Brooke - a work that brings wonder and awe into the moment you are penning. Felt peaceful just to read it. A lovely work that I enjoyed very much. As always great skill from your pen. Do you supply aspirin with your author notes?? LOL
I think the chocolate has gone to my head.:)
Thanks for sharing this one.
Maureen
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
Hi Brooke - a work that brings wonder and awe into the moment you are penning. Felt peaceful just to read it. A lovely work that I enjoyed very much. As always great skill from your pen. Do you supply aspirin with your author notes?? LOL
I think the chocolate has gone to my head.:)
Thanks for sharing this one.
Maureen
Comment Written 14-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
-
Maureen, thank you so very much :-) You have to spring for your own aspirin. My math teachers never offered me any headache aids :-) Brooke
-
Baaahaaaa - Good one my friend:D
Comment from steevie
Your write is most inspiring, Brooke. That is true to such a large degree.
Some things never have to be said and at times when things are said, they really matter not.
When there is that time of morning which you speak of and no sounds are heard, its as though you can 'hear' the earth spin on its axis.
I loved this poem, Brooke
well done
steve
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
Your write is most inspiring, Brooke. That is true to such a large degree.
Some things never have to be said and at times when things are said, they really matter not.
When there is that time of morning which you speak of and no sounds are heard, its as though you can 'hear' the earth spin on its axis.
I loved this poem, Brooke
well done
steve
Comment Written 14-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
-
Steve, thank you so very much :-) Brooke
:o)
Comment from Winslow
Dear Brooke,
At times silence is golden. This reminds me of when I have turkey hunted and arrive at my spot when it is still dark. All is silent. Sometimes as you say it is better to keep silent than to give voice to your thoughts. An interesting structure. You are a master at writing these forms.
Warm regards,
Winslow
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
Dear Brooke,
At times silence is golden. This reminds me of when I have turkey hunted and arrive at my spot when it is still dark. All is silent. Sometimes as you say it is better to keep silent than to give voice to your thoughts. An interesting structure. You are a master at writing these forms.
Warm regards,
Winslow
Comment Written 14-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
-
Winslow, thank you so very much :-) Brooke
Comment from RYME4U
Great! This is a new style. You've done a super job with it. The advice and point of view of your poem is exactly right. Good rhythm and flow of words. The alliteration and rhyming are an added touch. Great job.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
Great! This is a new style. You've done a super job with it. The advice and point of view of your poem is exactly right. Good rhythm and flow of words. The alliteration and rhyming are an added touch. Great job.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
-
RYME4U, thank you so much for your thoughtful review :-) Brooke