Lake Of Dreams
Crown of Sonnets182 total reviews
Comment from Jean Lutz
Seven is the number for perfection and surely you demonstrated it in this crown of sonnets. What is even better than a soul set free -- when two become one in harmony.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
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Seven is the number for perfection and surely you demonstrated it in this crown of sonnets. What is even better than a soul set free -- when two become one in harmony.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
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Sigh, Nathan and I send you our thanks Jean, Such a wonderful review and all the wonders of the number seven.
Comment from alexisleech
What can I say? Not just one beautifully written sonnet, but seven! Each one deserves a six in it's own right, so it feels so miserly to give it just one. There are so many wonderful lines here, I'm lost to pick one in particular, so won't try. Suffice to say, I loved this! Alexis x
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
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What can I say? Not just one beautifully written sonnet, but seven! Each one deserves a six in it's own right, so it feels so miserly to give it just one. There are so many wonderful lines here, I'm lost to pick one in particular, so won't try. Suffice to say, I loved this! Alexis x
Comment Written 29-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
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Wow Alexis, you have made Nathan and I happy with this review. It is absolutely wonderful.
Comment from hari anand
Loved it, Gungalo you are o full of love that every time you come up with new poetry about love in different expressive way, sonnet is difficult for me , I have to learn.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
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Loved it, Gungalo you are o full of love that every time you come up with new poetry about love in different expressive way, sonnet is difficult for me , I have to learn.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
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We thank you M for a beautiful review. You will learn if you so desire. What an awesome review!!
Comment from smudge
An excellent crown of linked love sonnets. My favorite lines are "beside the lake of dreams we gently laid, in lively meadows which can never die." A very well presented posting.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
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An excellent crown of linked love sonnets. My favorite lines are "beside the lake of dreams we gently laid, in lively meadows which can never die." A very well presented posting.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
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Thanks from Nathan and I for a beautiful review of this. SIgh especially that line.
Comment from Chris Tee
This crown of Sonnets is absolutely delightful poetry and extremely well penned. Well done indeed with this splendid work that you have created here.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
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This crown of Sonnets is absolutely delightful poetry and extremely well penned. Well done indeed with this splendid work that you have created here.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
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Nathan and I thank you so much Chris for this wonderful review.
Comment from suneagle
Certainly a magnificent effort to construct such an involved and intricate poem. Apart from the occasional forced rhyme and rare stumble in the rhythm I thoroughly enjoyed reading through it.
I've also noted some other minor things that you may like to consider:
beside a lake of dreams we gently laid
(That line is grammatically incorrect: "laid" should read "lay" which is the correct past tense of the verb "to lie".
The poem could easily be corrected in this manner:
Beneath the vast expanse of violet sky,
beside a lake of dreams we gently lay
in lively meadows which can never die
and wandered by the golden bow array
of silver bells and blossoms flaming-red.)
(Examples of "laid" used correctly are: The chicken laid an egg. He laid the table.)
So light within each [other's] arms we flew,
with softest starlight 'round us gathering.
(You have two weak beats together at the line end. Perhaps try this:
with softest starlight 'round us like a ring.)
Beside a lake of dreams we made our bed
its open window to the solemn sky
(You're saying that the bed has an open window.)
I shall [lie] here with you, my eyes closed tight
upon my breast your hands are laid so soft,
(You used "lie" correctly a little earlier.)
I trust I've been helpful. PM if you have any questions or comments about this review.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
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Certainly a magnificent effort to construct such an involved and intricate poem. Apart from the occasional forced rhyme and rare stumble in the rhythm I thoroughly enjoyed reading through it.
I've also noted some other minor things that you may like to consider:
beside a lake of dreams we gently laid
(That line is grammatically incorrect: "laid" should read "lay" which is the correct past tense of the verb "to lie".
The poem could easily be corrected in this manner:
Beneath the vast expanse of violet sky,
beside a lake of dreams we gently lay
in lively meadows which can never die
and wandered by the golden bow array
of silver bells and blossoms flaming-red.)
(Examples of "laid" used correctly are: The chicken laid an egg. He laid the table.)
So light within each [other's] arms we flew,
with softest starlight 'round us gathering.
(You have two weak beats together at the line end. Perhaps try this:
with softest starlight 'round us like a ring.)
Beside a lake of dreams we made our bed
its open window to the solemn sky
(You're saying that the bed has an open window.)
I shall [lie] here with you, my eyes closed tight
upon my breast your hands are laid so soft,
(You used "lie" correctly a little earlier.)
I trust I've been helpful. PM if you have any questions or comments about this review.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
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Hi! Your review was more than helpful and all of the suggestions you made have been implemented. It's awesome to have such wonderful assistance with this. There's so much to know. Nathan and I thank you so very much.
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You're welcome.
:)
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Sigh thank you so very much.
Comment from allborn66
These poems went together very well. I like the theme that they had. I could feel the emotion. Great job putting them all together.
Barbara
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
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These poems went together very well. I like the theme that they had. I could feel the emotion. Great job putting them all together.
Barbara
Comment Written 29-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
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Thanks so very much Barbara for a wonderful review. Nathan and I are so happy you liked it.
Comment from OLA THOMAS
This is a wonderful romantic crown of sonnets. I cherish the flow and interlink of all the stanzas, they ran togethe4r with much fluid, I like the deep rich of imagery particularly with elements of nature throughout the work. I love:
'Beside a lake of dreams we made our bed
its open window to the solemn sky
we watched the ever-last of stars that bled
as sparkles of the world began to fly.'
ola thomas
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
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This is a wonderful romantic crown of sonnets. I cherish the flow and interlink of all the stanzas, they ran togethe4r with much fluid, I like the deep rich of imagery particularly with elements of nature throughout the work. I love:
'Beside a lake of dreams we made our bed
its open window to the solemn sky
we watched the ever-last of stars that bled
as sparkles of the world began to fly.'
ola thomas
Comment Written 29-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
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A sincere thanks from both Nathan and I Ola for a great review of this one.
Comment from Topher Phaestus
This is really amazing. The imagery is so surreal, romantic, and kinda hot. I don't even know what else to say about. Just really beautiful.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
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This is really amazing. The imagery is so surreal, romantic, and kinda hot. I don't even know what else to say about. Just really beautiful.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
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Thanks so much for an awesome review. Nathan and I had a wonderful time doing these.
Comment from ameen786
Seven sonnets akin to seven heavens...a purely heavenly link of brilliant poems and I simply cannot express my delight in reading them, let me just say, "You are the MAN!"
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
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Seven sonnets akin to seven heavens...a purely heavenly link of brilliant poems and I simply cannot express my delight in reading them, let me just say, "You are the MAN!"
Comment Written 29-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
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Seventh heaven is where we are Ameen. Boy is it ever nice too. Thanks so very much guy from Nathan and me!!
