Monkeyshines
Some silly thoughts on human foibles120 total reviews
Comment from Janilou
LOL This is very cute. I have had a lot of fun myself with some of the Nigerian con-artists, who like to send me e-mails about my horses and goats I have for sale, wanting to buy all of them for millions, okay, well maybe not millions, but thousands more than I'm asking. I have a nice collection of fake money orders, those poor cons paid to have made up to send to me!
Your poem reminded me of them!
:-)
Jan
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2008
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LOL This is very cute. I have had a lot of fun myself with some of the Nigerian con-artists, who like to send me e-mails about my horses and goats I have for sale, wanting to buy all of them for millions, okay, well maybe not millions, but thousands more than I'm asking. I have a nice collection of fake money orders, those poor cons paid to have made up to send to me!
Your poem reminded me of them!
:-)
Jan
Comment Written 12-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2008
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Yes, these email scam guys have inherited the snake oil business, but they lack the charm of the old guys. The old timers may have been a tad shady and may have fleeced a few people, but they did it with cunning and charm and seduction - Burt Lancaster calling for that rain and getting the rancher's son to bang the drum while he does it is flashing before my mind. These internet guys are just pathetic! :-) Thanks so much for a lovely review.
Comment from Perpetua
A really great read. You do have a knack for these lively, fun-filled poems. My only comment on this one is that I think the penultimate line would read better if you dropped the word "He"
So what did Jake the trickster do
when he found himself embattled?
Turned tail toward the nearest door
and through it he skedaddled!
Just a thought. Thanks for sharing this. A real treat.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2008
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A really great read. You do have a knack for these lively, fun-filled poems. My only comment on this one is that I think the penultimate line would read better if you dropped the word "He"
So what did Jake the trickster do
when he found himself embattled?
Turned tail toward the nearest door
and through it he skedaddled!
Just a thought. Thanks for sharing this. A real treat.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2008
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You're right! Will edit now. :-) Thank you.
Comment from Artasylum
i swear i can see your stories through my sesame street eyes...these are great fun to read and make me feel 3 and one half again...thanks. yours, diana
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2008
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i swear i can see your stories through my sesame street eyes...these are great fun to read and make me feel 3 and one half again...thanks. yours, diana
Comment Written 12-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2008
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That is one of the sweetest things anyone has said to me - thank you so very much! Peace, Brooke
Comment from exasperis
Well I have not seen the use of some of those words in a long time some are familiar even aussie slang but others are foreign. Great rhythm and rhyme I like tempo in poetry and this won is quick and pugnacious.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2008
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Well I have not seen the use of some of those words in a long time some are familiar even aussie slang but others are foreign. Great rhythm and rhyme I like tempo in poetry and this won is quick and pugnacious.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2008
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quick and pugnacious - yay for me. :-D You are so kind and encouraging, and I remain in your debt!
Comment from LynnRadford
You do tell great rhyming tales, that is for sure!
Their playful silliness is a welcome distraction to my day.
Thanks for sharing them with us here at FS!
LR
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2008
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You do tell great rhyming tales, that is for sure!
Their playful silliness is a welcome distraction to my day.
Thanks for sharing them with us here at FS!
LR
Comment Written 12-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2008
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Hey, any time I can distract people from the complications of this world for three seconds even, I feel privileged to do so. Thank you so very much!
Comment from Gert sherwood
adewpearl let me tell you now I know where to go when I want to read a poem filed with rhythm and rhyme , plus a good laugh
I love how you use words(some of which I have never heard before) fun poem
Thank you for sharing.
Smiles
Gert
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2008
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adewpearl let me tell you now I know where to go when I want to read a poem filed with rhythm and rhyme , plus a good laugh
I love how you use words(some of which I have never heard before) fun poem
Thank you for sharing.
Smiles
Gert
Comment Written 12-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2008
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You are a kind and gentle soul, and I thank you for your generous and encouraging comments.
My day is made, maybe even tomorrow. :-)
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adewpearl, you are so welcome
Gert
Comment from SunlitWhisper
Well you sure do supply when the demand is high. LOL I know laughter is a good for ones soul but busting ones gut can't keep ya' whole. "smile" Nice fun and very clever work. Thanks and keep them flowing.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2008
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Well you sure do supply when the demand is high. LOL I know laughter is a good for ones soul but busting ones gut can't keep ya' whole. "smile" Nice fun and very clever work. Thanks and keep them flowing.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2008
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You make me smile :-) Thank you so much.
Comment from Lynar
I liked how your poetry pivot like a bookchapter. It was hilarious, I chuckled from top to finish. It did mimic human nature in the raw for this bumpkin. The pattern in quatrain rhyme, ab,ab etc. (mind, eyes, bad wise). The scene shifts,Jake spied his mark a clueless man. Shift in focus, what he thought, he got clobbered. The mood in fighting and ruckus was from his joking. Snap! In time end the mood changes, Jake beats feet out the door. Ha! I could see how your stanzas made the poem. I would recommend to my friends, Monkeyshines, an excellent title in tom foolery. A most funny and enjoyable piece. Excellent. No adverse remarks.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2008
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I liked how your poetry pivot like a bookchapter. It was hilarious, I chuckled from top to finish. It did mimic human nature in the raw for this bumpkin. The pattern in quatrain rhyme, ab,ab etc. (mind, eyes, bad wise). The scene shifts,Jake spied his mark a clueless man. Shift in focus, what he thought, he got clobbered. The mood in fighting and ruckus was from his joking. Snap! In time end the mood changes, Jake beats feet out the door. Ha! I could see how your stanzas made the poem. I would recommend to my friends, Monkeyshines, an excellent title in tom foolery. A most funny and enjoyable piece. Excellent. No adverse remarks.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2008
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Aren't you just too kind and so thorough, also :-) I do so thank you.
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Your very wlcome, adewpearl
Comment from chaswriter
Adewpearl - a funny and imaginative read. I loved it. Some of the rhyme is a little forced and the rhythm gets ragged at times, but it is a fun read nonetheless. What did Jake do for a trick? Thanks for writing. Charlie.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2008
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Adewpearl - a funny and imaginative read. I loved it. Some of the rhyme is a little forced and the rhythm gets ragged at times, but it is a fun read nonetheless. What did Jake do for a trick? Thanks for writing. Charlie.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2008
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Thanks for the positive review :-) It doesn't matter what Jake did - it's like a McGuffin in films, which Hitchcock used all the time, and I do love Hitchcock. ;-)
Comment from Scribbelini
chuckle chuckle. This is pretty good reminicent of Robert W Service. If you haven't got the collected poems, it's really a hoot. Well done.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2008
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chuckle chuckle. This is pretty good reminicent of Robert W Service. If you haven't got the collected poems, it's really a hoot. Well done.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2008
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I have heard of him but don't really know him - thanks for the recommendation and thanks for the review :-)
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He wrote the Shooting of Dan McGrew
A bunch of the boys were whoopin it up at the Malamute Saloon,
And the kid that handled the music box was hittin a ragtime tune....
If you tap in Dan McGrew on line it will pop up.
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Ah, now that I know!!!! :-)
