Comment from Margaret Snowdon

Excellent

Amen - I thoroughly agree - how
can we pass them by! a heartfelt
piece of verse, Brooke - your
words sending out a clear message
to use all.

I always think - there but for the grace
of God go I.

Margaret.

 Comment Written 21-Aug-2009

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reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009

Many more people in this world should have your heart, Margaret :-) Thank you. Brooke

Comment from Mariea

Excellent

Good morning Brooke. I enjoyed this one, makes u take a second look at 'oldies' in obvious need and wonder what put them there.

Flow - fluid movement
Structure - well put together
Rhyme - consistent
Rhythm - nice easy flow

Have a great day

Regards Mia

 Comment Written 21-Aug-2009

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reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009

Thank you, Mia. Your thoughtful review is most appreciated :-) Brooke

Comment from WRITER1

Excellent

This is a well written and thought out piece. You see enough people in a day to know how life really is. We all can definitely not say the same.

 Comment Written 21-Aug-2009

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reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009

Thank you, my friend - I appreciate this thoughtful review :-) Brooke

Comment from Amfunny

Excellent

Well, aren't you starting my day off on a cheerful note. This is an excellent poem and, unfortunately, one that speaks volumes of truth. Well done.

 Comment Written 21-Aug-2009

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reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009

Sorry about that - blame it on the prompt! Thank you, Norma Jean. Brooke :-)

Comment from AliSmith

Excellent

A very touching, moving poem. The explanation at the end was great even if the poem didn't need it. It could stand on its own. (Not all poems can say that.)

I'm glad you had your poem rhyme. I'm still not up to the free verse stuff yet. Excellent job.

 Comment Written 21-Aug-2009

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reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009

Thank you, Ali - yes, my author's notes are always meant as extra commentary, not as a crutch the poem needs in order to be understood :-) Brooke

Comment from fastdigits

Excellent

As always, you write with such quiet
force, where you cobble together words
that tell the tale that you wish the
reader to feel and be part of. Your
writing today, unfortunately that it
had to be in free form, because it would
have been difficult for anyone to beat.
Your words, along with the art work bring
this feeling of being all alone in the
world in a world full of people.
Well done

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 Comment Written 21-Aug-2009

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reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009

Thank you. 95% of the poems I write are not for contests - there are far more important reasons to write :-) Brooke

Comment from words

Excellent

well done!

These lines hit home hard:At least when they don't know I'm here
they can't with disapproving sneer
condemn what put me in this place.
Since nothing can expunge disgrace,
perhaps it's best I disappear

I hope that I am NEVER guilty of adding an ounce of disdain to anyone's burden.

For too many years I was in a religious community who spent more time judging than helping...never again.

I am so glad that you write about the homeless...they do not have much voice in the dialogue of our lives.

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 Comment Written 21-Aug-2009

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reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009

Yes, unfortunately I know religious people like that, those who use the Bible like a weapon to beat other people up with.
How tragic and misguided is that? Thank you so much for your most thoughtful comments. Brooke :-)