Comment from darkgreennights

Excellent

Brooke, and so you see what I mean. And say it like no one else in the world can do! Eyes closed, oh yes arent they, of course why open them the view is so harsh, all those sweet sad eyes to look into all that truth to face? Jeez, you're writing is just endlessly remarkable.

Kathleen

 Comment Written 03-Aug-2009

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reply by the author on 03-Aug-2009

Thanks so much, Kathleen. I always appreciate your encouraging comments :-) Brooke

reply by darkgreennights on 03-Aug-2009

overall I think i would just have to say at this juncture I just appreciate the fact you exist!

Comment from Deejharrington

Excellent

That is beautiful and so true. How many times have I heard people complain and cry about their situation, with their eyes shut, refusing to see another reality, another possibility. Without hope we are forever stuck, no moving forward, no future. Humans have to have hope above all else. Wonderfully penned!
deb

 Comment Written 03-Aug-2009

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reply by the author on 03-Aug-2009

Deb, thank you for your insightful interpretation of my cinquain and your most thoughtful review :-) Brooke

reply by Deejharrington on 03-Aug-2009

You're welcome
deb

Comment from Domino

Excellent

Hi, Brooke

I don't understand that the 'title' is considered the 6 th line, or how it fits with your words here. Of course it's appropriate, but so is a title of any poem. I'm not being picky, I just think I'm missing something.

I'm reading this as spiritual and to 'see' religion (by the star) metaphor, we need to open our eyes. A sorta follow-up to my 'Faith and Romance' poem, though I don't mean intentionally as I may have the wrong interpretation.


Anyway, a skillful thought-provoker.

Best wishes. Ray xx

 Comment Written 03-Aug-2009

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reply by the author on 03-Aug-2009

In some forms there is no title at all, and in many forms I just use some of the words from one of my lines for the title - in the cinquain the title offers the poet an opportunity to say something else that serves as a clue to the meaning of the poem. I try to do that. Perhaps this one did not add anything for you, but it was my intention for it to, and articles I've read on the form speak about this. Thanks, Ray, for your review. Brooke

reply by Domino on 03-Aug-2009

Thanks for the explanation, Brooke. I sure didn't mean to sound critical and if I got the poem's message correct, it's excellently said. If I got it wrong, then that's my loss.

Ray xx

reply by the author on 03-Aug-2009

Yes, Ray, I see your interpretation as spot on! :-)

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

This poem is so simple yet so thought provoking. This line is so true; can only help the lost whose eyes
aren't closed. It has so much meaning, if you're willing to follow the way is lit for you. I love it.


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 Comment Written 03-Aug-2009

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reply by the author on 03-Aug-2009

Thank you, Barbara - I'm most appreciative of your gracious response :-) Brooke

Comment from rama devi

Excellent

Thought-provoking and deeply philosophical. I love a poem that speaks volumes with brevity.I also love when a poem has refined musical cadence, as this does, and all of your work does.
I find no nits.
Superb phrasing -sounds great read aloud!

Bravo!

Warmly
rd

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 Comment Written 03-Aug-2009

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reply by the author on 03-Aug-2009

Thanks so much, rama devi - when I've spent so much time and energy to attain that cadence, it is lovely to know someone hears and appreciates it. :-) Brooke