The Machine Stops
When appliances break84 total reviews
Comment from Author Unknown
Oh, this is my life. Everything I have is always on the blink. First, it's the car, then the truck, then a nail in the tractor tire. Sick horse. Dog lost. It's always something, but I could never describe it so perfectly. :D Congrats on this well-deserved win! I love the cadence this has! A fun read! A.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2013
Oh, this is my life. Everything I have is always on the blink. First, it's the car, then the truck, then a nail in the tractor tire. Sick horse. Dog lost. It's always something, but I could never describe it so perfectly. :D Congrats on this well-deserved win! I love the cadence this has! A fun read! A.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2013
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Thank you!
Yeah, these things all seem to come together. Not quite like it was in the poem, but we did have electricity problems which fried some of our electronic gear, plus the septic tank clogged up plus the ride-on mower broke!
Steve
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OMG, and mowers and septic tanks are two VERY necessary items too. Last summer we had our tank emptied, (IT WAS ON THE VERGE OF BACKING UP)! :) And I had to buy three sets (of three) blades for the mower as I kept hitting things un-mowable, i.e., stones, not rocks...and someone threw metal wire from hog panels out where I mow along our drive. And as for electronics...when we lose those it's like we've lost an arm...hang in there Steve...you're not alone!
Comment from adewpearl
good alliteration in phrases like - fridge was far from frosty
excellent use of abcb rhyming
fun use of personification of these faulty appliances
strong meter, great humor, vivid detail - a great response to this prompt :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2013
good alliteration in phrases like - fridge was far from frosty
excellent use of abcb rhyming
fun use of personification of these faulty appliances
strong meter, great humor, vivid detail - a great response to this prompt :-) Brooke
Comment Written 16-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2013
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Thanks, Brooke.
The truly terrible thing is how much of this I didn't need to invent!
Steve
Comment from Amenian Aypotheeno
Now this raised a smile all the way through, with some great one liners, anecdotes, puns, similes and metaphors but also raising questions! Yes are we getting a little to dependant technology??? I am glad you posted it as it added some much needed verve and humour to my day... and as for the story by EM Forster, I have never heard of it but is this the very same author who did Howard's End and Where Angels Fear To Tread? Great write and thanks for posting :)
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2013
Now this raised a smile all the way through, with some great one liners, anecdotes, puns, similes and metaphors but also raising questions! Yes are we getting a little to dependant technology??? I am glad you posted it as it added some much needed verve and humour to my day... and as for the story by EM Forster, I have never heard of it but is this the very same author who did Howard's End and Where Angels Fear To Tread? Great write and thanks for posting :)
Comment Written 14-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2013
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Amenian, thanks so much for the generous review and the six golden stars.
Yes, the same Forster - also A Passage to India - I believe he wrote quite a number of short stories - this is quite a long one and has been made into a film.
Thanks again.
Steve
Comment from Cornelius2000
I love this one! It's zippy and fun, great meter and excellent rhyming. If you stretched the definition of "appliance," who cares? This one deserves wider exposure. Well done!
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2013
I love this one! It's zippy and fun, great meter and excellent rhyming. If you stretched the definition of "appliance," who cares? This one deserves wider exposure. Well done!
Comment Written 14-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2013
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Thanks for the enthusiastic review and galaxy of stars.
Steve
Comment from nelliesellie
I love the picture. I love the poem. My appliances have sent me over the edge like this. We don't realize how many electronics fill our lives until they all go on a work strike against us. I am one that started my life without most of them. I know how to live without them. Not that I like it. I think we need to get better control of our machines. Great work,
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2013
I love the picture. I love the poem. My appliances have sent me over the edge like this. We don't realize how many electronics fill our lives until they all go on a work strike against us. I am one that started my life without most of them. I know how to live without them. Not that I like it. I think we need to get better control of our machines. Great work,
Comment Written 14-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2013
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Thanks, Nellie.
Yes, isn't it funny how they all seem to go at once?
Steve
Comment from Rubylou
Wonderfully written. So humorous and so true. It seems things all go at the same time. This is a very creative and imaginative poem. Good luck in the contest. Rubylou
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2013
Wonderfully written. So humorous and so true. It seems things all go at the same time. This is a very creative and imaginative poem. Good luck in the contest. Rubylou
Comment Written 14-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2013
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Thanks, Ruby!
Steve
Comment from c_lucas
"...so sue me! We'll boil you in your malfunctioning Hot Tub. (LOL) I enjoyed reading your contest entry of all you deviant appliances. This is very well written. Good luck in your contest.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2013
"...so sue me! We'll boil you in your malfunctioning Hot Tub. (LOL) I enjoyed reading your contest entry of all you deviant appliances. This is very well written. Good luck in your contest.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2013
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Uh, uh the hot tub broke last year and flooded the games room below, shorting out my juke box and electric guitar which caused a fire that destroyed my collection of vintage record players....
Thanks for the fun review.
Steve
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Maybe you have better hire the services of an exorcist. LOL. You're welcome, Steve. Charlie
Comment from sunnilicious
This is a wonderful poem. You have a nice sense of humor as you are creative presenting visual images. Good lyrical flow with rhyme and rhymes. Nicely done. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2013
This is a wonderful poem. You have a nice sense of humor as you are creative presenting visual images. Good lyrical flow with rhyme and rhymes. Nicely done. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2013
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Thanks, Sunni.
Steve
Comment from mountainwriter49
Hey, Steve
This is funny as heck and so well done! I'm still smiling as
I write this review. My favorite lines are:
The washer's bumpy-thumping
like it wants to leave the room;
Oh yeah, how many times have I ever danced with the washer? lol
A great, fun poem. Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
Ray
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2013
Hey, Steve
This is funny as heck and so well done! I'm still smiling as
I write this review. My favorite lines are:
The washer's bumpy-thumping
like it wants to leave the room;
Oh yeah, how many times have I ever danced with the washer? lol
A great, fun poem. Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
Ray
Comment Written 13-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2013
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Thanks, Ray
Not quite sure what that dance is called that the washing machine does but there's a whole lotta shaking going on.
Thanks for the review.
Steve
Comment from emrpoems
A delightful poem giving details of every appliance that broke down. Very innovative.
My Bluetooth needs a dentist
and my Wi-Fi's disconnected;
my razor flicked its flexy tail
then died; how unexpected!
How funny
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2013
A delightful poem giving details of every appliance that broke down. Very innovative.
My Bluetooth needs a dentist
and my Wi-Fi's disconnected;
my razor flicked its flexy tail
then died; how unexpected!
How funny
Comment Written 13-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2013
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Thank you emr.
Steve