Comment from kiwijenny

Excellent

Rating of Chapter 1 - Bathroom Incident
Yikes yikes yikes........KiwiSteve..... .........no pain no gain they say
It takes a flicking and keeps on ticking......just barely...
Well done..............I chortled just a little
God bless

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014

Thank you.

If you can't make fun of yourself....

Steve

Comment from krys123

Excellent

Rating of Chapter 1 - Bathroom Incident
Steve, thank you for bringing this out a mothballs. I truly enjoyed this and made me laugh very much. The humor in this poem is extravagantly fantastic. Your rhyming was exceptional and neither of your rhymes were forced, labeled or strained while your rhythm flowed smoothly throughout your poem which made it easy for me to read your poem clearly. Thank you for sharing am posting this for everyone and made the Lord be with you always.
Alex

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014

Alex, thanks for the kind words.

Steve

reply by krys123 on 11-Jun-2014

You are so sincerely welcome Steve

Comment from Louise Michelle

Excellent

Rating of Chapter 1 - Bathroom Incident
LOL - I love a story in a poem and I also like to laugh. You've brightened my day (after reading some somber poems) and I thank you. Hugs, Lou

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014

Thanks, Lou.

Steve

Comment from bichonfrisegirl

Exceptional

Rating of Chapter 1 - Bathroom Incident
Steve,

LOL ... thanks for my first morning chuckle of the day! :) I haven't had time to be on FanStory the past few weeks, but sure am glad that I read this one this morning.

Great humour with terrific imagery! I loved it! I especially liked all the descriptive detail of the alarm raised in the WHOLE community, including amongst even the birds and dogs, haha! Fave line ... "Till slather-lather bubbles flew" ... say that 10 x fast! Great rhyming and a very smooth flow, also contributed to making this one delightful read!

Great job, Steve!

Connie

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014

Thanks, Connie.

Glad you enjoyed this celebration of self-inflicted pain and humiliation.

Steve

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Rating of Chapter 1 - Bathroom Incident
Hi Kiwisteve,

Delightful read all the way. Not so much for you at journeys end, and it would a appear it was quite a hoot at your expense as well! But as you so rightly point out, the 'unique package' must be protected! So sorry, but can't stop laughing!! ('-')

Well done. Good luck in the contest.

Cheers,
Keep Smilin... Jax

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014

Thanks, Jax!

Steve

Comment from Dorothy Farrell

Excellent

Rating of Chapter 1 - Bathroom Incident
Twenty hilarious stanzas - any truth in this story - are you just bragging or wishful thinking? This is really a very funny and well written story in rhyme - it's always when I have just given my last 6 that I read something like this - incidentally, I did not laugh - I felt your pain LOL. Good Luck in the contest. Regards Dorothy

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014

Thanks, Dorothy

Yes there is some truth in it, but I'm not letting on which bits!

Steve

Comment from Debra White

Excellent

Rating of Chapter 1 - Bathroom Incident
Hi Steve :)
20 stanza's is good going for a first offering!
I loved this funny (sorry not so funny for you!) story, told incredibly well in rhymed verse. Great use of alliteration throughout with some laugh out loud moments. Glad you revived this one - I enjoyed it very much :)
Kindest regards as always, Debra

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014

Thanks, Debra.

I enjoy the occasional browse through my own stuff - I often find pieces I have completely forgotten about or poems like this that deserve another airing.

Steve

Comment from NurseBarb

Exceptional

Rating of Chapter 1 - Bathroom Incident
Probably the funniest poem I've read so far. The rhyming was perfect and my favorite phrase is the windows shattering and old deaf folk muttered "I'll be danged". I laughed out loud a lot through this poem and not at all surprised the wife laughed as we women ALWAYS laugh when men get hurt in that area. It's funny to us and I don't know why. Good luck in this contest. You should do VERY well.

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014

Thanks, Barb.

This was an old post I revived so the contest is long done and dusted with no joy for me - happily I have won a few since then, although not the story in a poem one which I am keen to remedy.

Steve

Comment from humpwhistle

Exceptional

Rating of Chapter 1 - Bathroom Incident
Hmmm, and this didn't win the contest, Steve? I guess the competition was 'stiffer'. Yeah, I know, apples and bananas.

Well, I'm lad to hear you've compiled a book. I always look forward to your story-poems.

I'll peruse the rest of you book.

Peace, Lee

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014

Thanks, Lee.

Yeah, I am glad I can look at this and be reasonably impressed myself. I have no recollection who or what beat it in the contest - I just know I still haven't conquered that bloody share a story one - one day!

Steve

Comment from royowen

Excellent

Rating of Chapter 1 - Bathroom Incident
This was a brilliant piece of writing Steve, although I must admit I tensed my teeth and had a tear or two in my eye! This is a piece of epic poetic history! Loved it! great work! Great expression in the narrative, very good aabb rhyme scheme, even meter to give it seamless rhythm! Blessings, Roy.

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014

Thanks, Roy.

I did warn you in the opening lines to beware the painful ending!

Steve