General Script posted August 16, 2018

Chapters:

...44 45 -46- 47...

Exceptional

a one-scene script

A chapter in the book Scenes

Scene at a Red Lobster

by Bill Schott

Pons and Ned meet for dinner at a new Red Lobster restaurant. Ned: Hey, Pons. Glad yer schedya had room fer a supper wit yer fav'right cousin. Pons: Yeah yeah, Ned. This new Red Lobster is a needed addition to the sparse dinner spots around our town. Ned: Sure nuff, Pons. I couldn't stomach anutter stack ah dem throw-cushion waffles at da Pancake Barn. Pons: Don't think I've been there. Ned: It's right dere next ta da All-Ya-Kin Stand beanery. Pons: You've been to these places? Ned: Haunt 'em like a ghost, Pons. Pons: I thought you didn't like the food? Ned: Once ya git a moutfulla grubs an' roaches down yer gullet, ya kin stand jist 'bout anythin'. Pons: You went through survival training somewhere? Ned: Naw, jist house cleanin'. Excusing himself, Pons pushes by the greeter and heads for the restroom to vomit. The greeter, who has a name tag reading Gunter, addresses Ned. Greeter: There will be two of you then? Ned: Yup. My cousins prob'bly jist makin' room fer yer good-tastin' crawdads an' such. Greeter: We don't serve crayfish here, sir. Ned: Thunk you was a sea-da-food place? Greeter: They may serve crayfish at the Got-Yer-Chum fish fry down on Fifth Street. Ned: No kiddin'? I ain't never aheard ah dat place. Greeter: I AM kidding, sir. I was merely being funny -- and slightly condescending. Ned: Well, yeah. Ya wouldn't want folks scramblin' outta here ta yer competition. Pons returns from the restroom and joins the conversation. Pons: So, where are we sitting? Ned: Gunt ain't said yet. Greeter: That's Gunter, sir. Pons: Great, Gunter. Where are we sitting? Ned: Ain't nobody never called ya Gunt? Greeter: No one. Wait. Yes. I had an uncle begin calling my name from the middle of a busy thoroughfare. He was run over by a passing school bus before completing the full pronunciation. Pons: Did I miss something here? Ned: Gunt were jist condescendin' how he ain't never been called dat exceptin' by me and his dead uncle. What was yer uncle's name, Gunt? Greeter: Asshole! Ned smiled with the thought that the greeter's uncle had such a funny name. Pons: Maybe we should go somewhere else? Ned: Gunt was jist sayin' dere's a place servin' crawdads down on Fifth Street.   Write A Review Image from redlobster.com Pays one point and 2 member cents. You need to login or register to write reviews. It's quick! We only ask four questions to new members.