General Script posted March 13, 2018

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one-scene script. Shrew World 7

Scene at a Play (Part 1)

by Bill Schott

Ned and Pons meet at a Shakespearean play.

Pons: Glad you could make it, Ned.
Ned: Yeah, Pons. I ain't never seen no gobbler show afore.

Pons: Gobbler?

Ned: Da pogram says it's da tannin' a da shoe.

Pons: That's an em, Ned, not two ens.

Ned: So it's a TAMin a da shoe? S'pose we'll get learned what a gobbler does?

Pons: Wait, wait, wait, Ned. Gee, where do I start. It's Ka cobbler, not Ga gobbler.

Ned: (making and flapping bent-arm wings and using a shrill voice) Cobble, cobble, cobble!

Pons: Holy cow, Ned!

Ned: Don't sound right, do it. (again with motions and voice) Cobble, cobble, cobble!

Pons: Ned! Stop!

Ned: I KNOW! Oughta be (motion and sound) Gobble, gobble, gobble!

Pons: Ned, listen. This is a play. It's called The Taming of the SHREW -- not shoe.

Ned: Oh. So what's a sha-ROO?

Pons: A shrew is a rodent.

Ned: So, instead a learnin' shoe apair we git ta train some kinda mouse?

Pons: This is not a DIY program, Ned. It's a play.

Ned: No need fer no bad langedge dere, Pons.

Pons: You mean DIY?

Ned: Your ma muss go through soap fast awashin' yer mout, Pons

Pons: Do It Yourself, Ned.

Ned: Ain't gonna, Pons. Get thee ahind me, Satan.

Pons: Look, Ned. Let's just watch this play. It has actors dressed up in old time clothes.

Ned: Dere’s a sale at the Kmart. Dey oughta update dere duds.

Pons: Right. Okay. Well, the curtains going up.

Ned: I dunno 'bout da curtains, but da clothes er fer def’nit  on sale.

To be continued..

All misspelled words are intentional.

Yes, Ned is THAT dumb.
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© Copyright 2018. Bill Schott All rights reserved.
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