| Biographical Non-Fiction posted January 31, 2018 |
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True story of a life event
The Struggle to Share My Story
by patcelaw
At a meeting with dear friends in the spring of 2013, I shared a bit about my personal testimony. My friends suggested that I might well consider sharing my story.
After our meeting, God began to move in my heart to submit my story to Unshackled, a program where they have people share their stories and a scriptwriter takes the information you give and makes it into a script to be done as a radio drama. I listened each day to the dramas that were being presented. Checking the guidelines for the program submissions, it seemed that was in God's will for my life.
Yet, I was not sure I wanted to do the program. I prayed about it and began making excuses to God as to why I could notdo what He seemed to be asking me to do. You see there were people who I worried would be hurt in telling my story. It could hurt my siblings and their children.
Why you ask, would it hurt them?
You see a difficult part of my story involved our mother and the grandmother of my nieces and nephews.
As I kept making excuses I was soon finding I was not sleeping well and when I did sleep I had terrible bad dreams or nightmares. Most nights I was getting less than four hours of sleep. This went on for about eight months. I finally agreed to do my story if that is what I needed, to be able to have peace with God in the matter.
So once again I checked the guidelines for the program and they wanted stories from my childhood. There was the sticking point as most of my childhood memories had been taken from me when at the age of nineteen, after being raped and becoming pregnant, my mother had wanted me to abort the child. This was just so unthinkable to my mind, as abortion to my mind would be murder, and I was not willing to answer to God for the murder of a child. I had many other things to which I would have to answer for, and I didn't want another thing for which I would be held accountable.
With my refusal to have an abortion my mother deemed it a good idea to stand over a bed where I was asleep, holding a gun within one inch of my face right between my eyes. I believe God Himself woke me. I reached up and pushed the gun aside. The fright caused me to lose my childhood memories. Since the childhood memories were important to telling my story, I prayed asking God to give me those lost memories.
I submitted a short outline of my story to the program director along with the history of my family, brothers and sisters, my children and references from people who knew me for a number of years. I had to have two pastor references and two other personal references who had known me for a number of years.
The program director contacted me saying they would like to produce my story. So I began writing my story for the scriptwriterand submitted many pages. Some of my story had already been written by my husband in the last year of his life about our relationship in the first year that we knew each other, so that part was easy.
But still missing were the childhood memorie. The script writer told me that she wanted to do my story as a two part story, but I would need to provide her with childhood memories.
As I prayed asking God to give me memories and as He did I would write the memory and spend many minutes shedding tears about the memory.
I was also asked some very personal questions by the scriptwriter and it was a struggle to be totally honest about my past. But, sharing my past with her was freeing to my spirit. Thankfully she did not use some parts of my past that only God, myself and she knows.
The submitting of my story took about ten days of working eight to ten hours a day, at the computer and shedding many tears as I struggled. My story was written for the scriptwriter, from March 23, 2014 until April 2, 2014.
Finally, I would just like to say, if God is asking you to do something, He will faithfully give you the strength and courage to do His will for your life.
-Patricia Lawrence
1-31-18
True Story Contest contest entry
At a meeting with dear friends in the spring of 2013, I shared a bit about my personal testimony. My friends suggested that I might well consider sharing my story.
After our meeting, God began to move in my heart to submit my story to Unshackled, a program where they have people share their stories and a scriptwriter takes the information you give and makes it into a script to be done as a radio drama. I listened each day to the dramas that were being presented. Checking the guidelines for the program submissions, it seemed that was in God's will for my life.
Yet, I was not sure I wanted to do the program. I prayed about it and began making excuses to God as to why I could notdo what He seemed to be asking me to do. You see there were people who I worried would be hurt in telling my story. It could hurt my siblings and their children.
Why you ask, would it hurt them?
You see a difficult part of my story involved our mother and the grandmother of my nieces and nephews.
As I kept making excuses I was soon finding I was not sleeping well and when I did sleep I had terrible bad dreams or nightmares. Most nights I was getting less than four hours of sleep. This went on for about eight months. I finally agreed to do my story if that is what I needed, to be able to have peace with God in the matter.
So once again I checked the guidelines for the program and they wanted stories from my childhood. There was the sticking point as most of my childhood memories had been taken from me when at the age of nineteen, after being raped and becoming pregnant, my mother had wanted me to abort the child. This was just so unthinkable to my mind, as abortion to my mind would be murder, and I was not willing to answer to God for the murder of a child. I had many other things to which I would have to answer for, and I didn't want another thing for which I would be held accountable.
With my refusal to have an abortion my mother deemed it a good idea to stand over a bed where I was asleep, holding a gun within one inch of my face right between my eyes. I believe God Himself woke me. I reached up and pushed the gun aside. The fright caused me to lose my childhood memories. Since the childhood memories were important to telling my story, I prayed asking God to give me those lost memories.
I submitted a short outline of my story to the program director along with the history of my family, brothers and sisters, my children and references from people who knew me for a number of years. I had to have two pastor references and two other personal references who had known me for a number of years.
The program director contacted me saying they would like to produce my story. So I began writing my story for the scriptwriterand submitted many pages. Some of my story had already been written by my husband in the last year of his life about our relationship in the first year that we knew each other, so that part was easy.
But still missing were the childhood memorie. The script writer told me that she wanted to do my story as a two part story, but I would need to provide her with childhood memories.
As I prayed asking God to give me memories and as He did I would write the memory and spend many minutes shedding tears about the memory.
I was also asked some very personal questions by the scriptwriter and it was a struggle to be totally honest about my past. But, sharing my past with her was freeing to my spirit. Thankfully she did not use some parts of my past that only God, myself and she knows.
The submitting of my story took about ten days of working eight to ten hours a day, at the computer and shedding many tears as I struggled. My story was written for the scriptwriter, from March 23, 2014 until April 2, 2014.
Finally, I would just like to say, if God is asking you to do something, He will faithfully give you the strength and courage to do His will for your life.
-Patricia Lawrence
1-31-18
 Recognized |
Having done the story for Unshackled is probably responsible for me becoming a writer here on Fanstory. My writing for Fanstory began on August 14, 2014.
My unshackled story is available on the internet, by searching Patricia Lawrence 3325 and 3326.
The photo is one from the Unshackled program. In the photo the pictures of the people, the second one from the right is a picture of my scriptwriter Kennetha Gaebler and the program director Flossie McNeil. Kennetha and I are friends on facebook and I share with her what I write. She is a wonderfully supportive friend.
Pays
one point
and 2 member cents. My unshackled story is available on the internet, by searching Patricia Lawrence 3325 and 3326.
The photo is one from the Unshackled program. In the photo the pictures of the people, the second one from the right is a picture of my scriptwriter Kennetha Gaebler and the program director Flossie McNeil. Kennetha and I are friends on facebook and I share with her what I write. She is a wonderfully supportive friend.
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