General Poetry posted January 1, 2018


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A Young Boy's Heart

by Bill O'Bier


Intuitively, I knew his words,
before my father spoke.

Your mother's left us, he whispers.

Left you, I dared to scream --
My young boy's heart
aching, silently breaking.

You had disappeared,
without a trace.
It was not an easy trick,
but one well executed.

Knowing this was your pathway
from all his alcoholic pain,
offered me no solace.

Slowly but surely,
I became the caretaker,
watching his whiskey
come and go,
leaving our life chaotic.

Always longing - but fearful to connect,
I stayed safe on life's sidelines.
I became the judge and jury
for myself and others.

Reject, deny and dissociate --
Never acknowledge any pain,
Duck and cover from the shame --
That became my coping game.

So as time went on
my body grew strong, 
but my heart stayed 
just the same. 

Must I always pay this
price for losing you?

 


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© Copyright 2018. Bill O'Bier All rights reserved.
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