|Spiritual Non-Fiction posted December 29, 2017||Chapters:||...9 10 -11- 12...|
A chapter in the book Beauty for Ash and Stone
The Tough Girl - Day 11
Christian Devotional for Survivors of Sexual Abuse.
~ The Tough Girl ~
If you aren’t a tough girl, you probably know one. She is a take-charge, task-oriented, hard-hearted person who lives behind walls so thick that a sledgehammer couldn’t break through. The Tough Girl is suspicious of others’ motives, and angry and arrogant in her assessment of others. She finds human needs and emotions weak and pointless. She believes in ‘spare the rod and spoil the child’ and wouldn’t spend time comforting a crying baby. She’d sooner put the child to shame to “toughen up” or help the child “get over” the problem.
The Tough Girl views herself as a good wife and mother, and wants to be respected, but refuses to be dependent on anyone. Her feelings and emotions must be conquered, so that no one can control her again. She can watch a sad movie or go to a loved one’s funeral and not shed a tear. Her attitude can be standoffish and downright hostile. She is suspicious and critical, and will see any kindness toward her as an attempt to dominate and control her.
The Tough Girl doesn’t want your opinion and doesn’t ask questions. She knows how to do everything and does it herself. The Tough Girl is aloof and distant; she is the ‘no vacancy’ sign at the motel. Don’t challenge her or get in an argument with her, because she will have to win at all costs. She sees the world in black or white, and there is no in between.
The Tough Girl is valued for what she can accomplish, but she is not a good friend, and leaves others feeling lonely and kept at a distance. Her critical spirit and hardened heart become a liability and keep others away. The Tough Girl is a lonely person at her core.
The Tough Girl has been a victim of sexual abuse, and has made the self-vow that she will never be wounded or controlled again. So, she will take control, dominate, and intimidate. Eventually, others will leave her or become vengeful and retaliate against her. After many years of trying to run my own life, I got worn out. I wanted close relationships with others, but couldn’t understand why they were distant. I was the princess in the tower, but I had closed the windows, raised up the drawbridge, and slayed my own dragon. No one was coming in!
Let go and let God. Trust me – He can do a better job of controlling your life than you can! Pray this: Dear God, I’m letting go today. I don’t want to control others or my own life anymore. It’s too hard! I’m opening the windows, and lowering the bridge, and asking You to come into my heart. Thank you! Amen.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
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