"My Day By Day 2003"
Written May 2nd, 2006
By Doctor Ricky 1024.
(A Dedication)
<*> C.FanStory 2017<*>

"Like the 'Sands of an Hourglass,' my existence slowly passes through...
"The Great Portal of Life."
"Too much Grief...
"Too much Depression...
"To, too Much Severe Pain and Loss of *Life."
...
"Firstly, I lost my only Son Jason and then followed by my only Wife Carolyn."
"And then, almost my very, own, life"
...
"As I write this it's December 2006...

****

WARNING GRAPHIC!!!

"Now as I stand here...
"All alone in my house... "My House of Suffering" with a Seven, inch, serrated, steak, Knife...
"I plunge it not once but twice to each side of the nipple of my breast to try to capture what keeps me alive the best but, unfortunately for me, I miss but I don't dismiss!"
"Again, as I pick up the serrated, seven, inch, steak, Knife again..
"And this time, slash my neck not Once...
"Not Twice...
"But Thrice!"
"Aiming for the Jugular which I missed as well?"
...
"Oh well, again my only recourse left is it down a bottle of Depakote?"
"But Lord, that doesn't work either?"
"You see, for me, perhaps You...
"Maybe?"
"There's things going on here that are more than just me?"
...
" As I tried to take my life...
"Seconds tick by one by one...
"Minute by minute...
"Hour by hour...
"And, Day by Day."
...
"My life now fading...
"And, passing bye...
"As a year dissapates in an hour...
"Yes Dissipates!"
"Oh my Lord God!"
"What hath I done?"
"No more Color?"
"No more Glee?"
"No more Little Garden Flower...
"For me?"
Damned!"
"All I can now do is think of both...
"Both of you!"
...
"Never a recent Thought...
"Never a recent moment Passes...
"Too much Distance...
"Too much Vastness...
"Too, too, much Resistance!"
"Lord, what shall I now do?"
"My dear, God!"
"I now just grow older?"
"And, all I can do is now is cry!"
"Cry for all those Horrid *Lies!"
"The memories...
"Just Collide!"
...
"No more Smiling...
"No more Touching... "Just an emptiness here inside?"
...
"Can't you now see Lord?"
"Is this the way it was supposed to be Lord?"
"Is that all that's left after we create a family?"
...
"Lord, so many lonely and sleepless nights?"
"After the lost of Son and Wife?"
"The memories build, as a crescendo of horrible nightmares and melodies haunt me to this very day!"
"All alone!"
"Solitude!"
"No one left around in this old and empty house."
...
"And, it's still so soon?"
" And, takes my breath away!"
"I can't get it out of my head!"
"To this very day!"
...
"The Spectre of Death!"
"Can't get used to?"
"Tries to take away...
"My very, last, breath!"
...
"So please God!"
"Send an Angel...
(Like Meia)
"To me?"
"To take me to a place where you know that my family will be...
...
"A place where there's no more nightmares!"
"No more pain!"
"Nor loss of Breath!"
"No more Spectre of Death!"
...
"This now I do pray...
"Day By Day!"
Approximate
Word Count: 529.