It started long before the holiday
this feud with a vagabond cat.
Had my suspicions the vey first day
when he was a wee little brat.
All thought him helpless, fluffy and cute.
I saw the devil disguised.
Over the year he's proved me true
now grown to a monstrous size.
He crows orders like a privileged lord
makes sure I tend to his fair.
Then walks the counters looking for more
never a worry or care.

He pulls at the curtains, claws at the chair.
He torments the dog with tail in the air.
He pushes his luck for a chase to dare.
Against all authority his war's been declared.

He entered the holidays primed for a fight
looking for reason to prey.
The Christmas tree a welcoming sight
he climbed them outside everyday.
Tucked in branches peering out from within
stalking the room from there.
With tensile and bobbles his assault did begin
scattering them everywhere.
Then on to the boxes and bags full of cheer
all gifts for family and friends.
From a singing Santa to a dancing reindeer
his midnight attack had no end.

I woke to a war zone's scattered debris.
From a silent Santa and naked tree
to shredded gifts and left staring at me
was the feline culprit preening with glee.

I held him up looking straight in the eye
voiced to him my displeasure.
Releasing him when he sagged and sighed.
He strolled away at his leisure.
I looked at the damage left on display
poor Santa had no hair.
Trying to straighten the disarray
Rudolph was beyond repair.
I then stepped on a bulb which cut my foot
tripped on a box bouncin' 'round.
Reaching for a hold in the chaos and loot
I took the tree with me to the ground.

Back to the floor clutching the fur.
Scat jumped on my chest starting to purr
while stretching claws as if my chest were
another possession for his abuse to incur

With all the clatter my family arose
surprised by the tragic scene.
When finally noticing my repose
erupted a roar most supreme.
Out came the phones for pictures to share
to them this a big comedy
with the cat the joker in this holiday fair
I the punchline for all to see
Was it my lot forever to be known
as the guy from the internet vid.
Every holiday from now on shown
by the Christmas hating cat undid.

So I laid back with a grin.
The beast nuzzled my chin
turned 'round and settled in.
If Krampus is a cat....then it's him!