I was sittin' at the counter, achin' for some cawfee,  
mad that the cawfee guy, close as four feet, was ignorin' me. 
When I couldn't stand it no more, I spoke up loud, in a ticked-off way.
He made like he didn't know I was there, and he went, "Whadidya say?"
"You knew I wuz here," sez I. Gimme a cuppa coffee, Jack!"
He goes, "Lissen, my name ain't Jack!...but, how d'ya want it, Mac?"
I have a snide side when I'm sore, so, "In a cup! Now or sooner !," I cracked.
"Awright, buddy, it's yer lucky day!; I wuz gonna put it in yer lap."

Why d'ya gotta fight, just fer a cuppa cawfee!?         
What the heck's goin' on?. It don't make no sense t'me!

Cawfee in a diner, ain't what it usta be -
with beautyful waitresses waitin' on me.
They knew what it meant to be wit a gent,
with lotsa attention, and keepin' my glass fulla water.
I'd say thanks, pay 'em the dime, and tip 'em a quarter.
Them days is long gone, but the mem'ries remain -
when cawfee was betta, and not such a pain.