Humor Poetry posted November 10, 2017


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a poem about a grocery list

Grocery List

by Mark Valentine

Every time you grocery shop, there’s things that you forget.
I’m sure one day you’ll get it right, but it’s not happened yet.
So just to aid your memory, (I know it’s getting worse),
I thought it might assist you if I wrote your list in verse.

We need…

Tomatoes, potatoes
(Five pounds would be great). Oh,
And don’t forget lunch meat for lunch.
Soup in a can,
And some Post Raisin Bran,
Or better yet, get Captain Crunch.

Cherries, strawberries,
Ice cream (Ben and Jerry’s),
Some milk (and make sure it’s not sour).
I’ll make quesadillas
If you get tortillas
(Be sure to get corn and not flour).

Welch’s grape jelly,
Then go to the deli
For half a pound of Kraukus ham.
Salami, pastrami,
(Make sure to ask Tommy
To slice it as thin as he can).

Beer and some wine
(Any kind would be fine
As long as it’s NOT in a box).
Laundry detergent
(We need that quite urgently --
What did you DO to your socks?)

Rice and some Lysol
(But first check the price, all
The cleaning stuff should be on sale).
Peas from the freezer,
And fresh spinach please, or
I guess we could substitute kale.

A half pound of cheddar,
(No, Swiss would be better),
Then go to the frozen foods section.
Get three frozen pizzas,
(They’re four dollars each and
They have quite an ample selection).

Your mother wants butter,
A new pizza cutter,
(Cuz Dave broke the old one last night).
Green beans -- get Del Monte
(That is if you want me
To make that beef stew that you like).

Triscuits and biscuits,
Iced tea (get the brisk -- it’s
The only kind David will drink).
And get SOS
Cuz the kitchens a mess.
(When’s the last time you scrubbed down the sink?)

DON’T get spaghetti
(We have some already),
But DO get the stuff to make sauce.
And then when you’re done,
Pick a treat just for fun.
(Because after all you’re the boss).


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© Copyright 2017. Mark Valentine All rights reserved.
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