Spiritual Non-Fiction posted June 3, 2017 Chapters:  ...9 10 -11- 12... 


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A chapter in the book My Reminders of LIfe 3

I Felt I'd Lost It All

by Barb Hensongispsaca


Life is quirky sometimes. Just when you think you have the tiger by the tail so to speak, the tiger turns around and bites you in the butt. When I was younger - much younger - I was the lead soprano for the King's Kidz. We were a gospel group that dedicated our lives to spreading the word of God through our songs. I truly enjoyed singing, and singing for God made it even better.

One summer, I was in charge of a Bible School class that met during the evenings. It lasted for two weeks during which I became close to a lot of the boys and girls that came to learn and play. When you crawl around on the ground as a snake during a robust time of Follow The Leader, you have no choice but to laugh and become part of the clique of children.

When the two weeks were over, the last day consisted of cleaning up and getting ready to send the completed projects, and the ones not so completed, home with the respective kids. Four of the children volunteered to stay and help in exchange for a ride home. I drove a station wagon at the time and there were no seat belt laws, so I could accommodate my three, myself and four extra.

When we were finished, we piled into the car for the ride home; but, when I started the car, it didn't seem to want to stay running. Thinking I'd flooded it, I let it sit for awhile to let the gas settle. After around 15 minutes, I tried it again. It seemed fine ... running smooth ... purring like a kitten.

After I delivered the first child home, it seemed to run sluggish. I began to think I had some dirt in the gas line. After the second delivery, I could not get it over 40 mph. After the third and last delivery, it wouldn't go over 30 mph.

When I was almost home, I saw "steam" coming from around the hood and the car bogged down. Since I still had my kids in the car and I was almost home, I did not stop to check it out. I just wanted to get it home and parked. It started to drive slower and slower. When I got it home, it was literally crawling up the driveway. I backed in by the garage and sent the kids in to get their dad. This was when my whole future changed.

After pulling the lever to release the latch, I went to the front of the car and started to lift the hood. After fumbling for the catch, I bent down to look at the latch release. That is when I realized what I thought was steam, was actually smoke.

At the same time as I realized it was smoke, the battery exploded. With the hood not fully unlatched, I did not get the full impact of the acid, but, I did take a lot of the acid smoke into my lungs. I could not breathe. The fire trucks came; the ambulance came; the police came; the neighbors came. It was a real shindig.

The emergency room doctor told me I was lucky. I could have been burnt by the acid. Then he told me I may never talk again. I guess he thought the first news would help me accept the bad news. My voice was gone. Now, you have to realize, to a singer, that meant the end of the world.

I was told I could not try to talk or cough for a couple of weeks. During that time I prayed like I had never prayed before. I begged. I pleaded. I even tried to barter with the Lord.

My voice came back, but my singing career was over for good. If I'd just left the car alone and not tried to lift the hood...but I did. I was angry with God, but, more so with myself. I let that anger consume me.

Now, comes the part you will probably not believe. I was sitting outside, having a pity party for myself, when I unconsciously picked up a pen lying nearby. I started tapping it against the newspaper I had been reading.

A voice ... thought ... whatever you want to call it said, "Write your anger."

I did. I wrote pages upon pages of anger and somewhere in that process, I learned humility. I also learned I could write poetry. Oh, not the refined pieces that my friends on Fanstory taught me to compose, but simple off-meter rhymes that gave me hope.

I gave up singing for something better, something lasting. Then using my experiences in life, I began to write just to reach that one person who needed to hear what I had to say. Someone who needed to know he or she was not alone. It does not pay a lot, but it is the best feeling in the world to know He is using me to reach out.

With the wonderful people on Fanstory teaching me everyday how to make my poetry sing, I am not afraid to reach beyond the border.



My Testimony contest entry

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900 words
Pays one point and 2 member cents.

Artwork by VMarguarite at FanArtReview.com

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© Copyright 2017. Barb Hensongispsaca All rights reserved.
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