Julia

I'm startled awake by the annoying alarm beeping beside my head. Looking over, I see my second husband Bill, sleeping peacefully beside me. I'm so lucky to have him, I think, trying to shake the horrible dream from my mind. Turning off the alarm, I reluctantly throw my feet out of the covers. I'm more tired now than when I went to bed. Glancing in the mirror, I see dark circles have taken up residency under my red, swollen eyes. I'd give just about anything for a good night's sleep. Pulling concealer out of the top drawer, I quickly get to work.

Oh, why did the night terrors start now, ten years later? Dabbing the miracle cream on my pale face, I start searching for answers. I have everything that I've ever wanted. A loving husband, two adorable kids, a beautiful home, and a successful career. So why is my past haunting me now? Why now? Sobbing, I plop down on the toilet. I wish they'd just stop. Oh, why can't I get them to stop, why? Hearing a knock on the bathroom door, I quickly dry my tears.

"Is everything alright?"

"Everything is fine, Bill."

"Then why did you lock the bathroom door?"

"Oh, I'm sorry." I run over and open it. Seeing makeup streaming down my face, he asks;

"What's wrong, honey?"

"I had another nightmare," I cry, collapsing against him.

"Oh, honey." Feeling his strong arms wrap around me, I snuggle in closer. I wish we could stay like this forever. I think, scooting in closer.

"They're getting worse, Bill, a lot worse, and I don't know how much longer I can take it," I cry.

"It'll be alright, honey," he says, gently stroking my hair.

"I can't eat, I can't sleep and I'm starting to look like a withered up hag," I sob, glancing in the mirror.

"You're the most beautiful old hag I've ever seen." Feeling his finger strum gently across my wet cheek, I smile.

"That's better, now come over here so I can wash your face." He leads me towards the vanity.

"I don't know what I'd do without you, Bill."

"You'd run around looking like a clown, that's what you'd do." Bill laughs, as he continues to wipe makeup off of my face. I chuckle.

"You finish getting ready and I'll take care of the kids."

"Thanks, Bill."

Walking to the door, he turns back around.

"Honey, I really think you should see someone about your nightmares."

"I probably should." I haven't told him about my past. I'm afraid he'll think less of me if I do. I planned on telling him in the beginning, but it was such an amazing relationship from the moment we first met, I didn't want to lose him.

Our relationship began when he walked into the law firm. We fell in love, the second our eyes met. We dated for a little over a month then ran off to Jamaica to be married. Ethan was born nine months later and Ashley soon after. Our love, our marriage is everything I could ever hope for, and I didn't want to ruin the magic by telling him about my seedy past. I start thinking about Bill's advice as I apply my makeup.

I should talk to someone, but who can I trust? I know that psychiatrists are bound to secrecy, but obligated by law to report criminal activities. I start going through a list of friends in my head. I don't know if I can trust any of them. I conclude, finishing my makeup. Walking in the kitchen, I find the kids waiting for me by the door.

"They're ready to go," Bill announces proudly.

"Did you feed them?"

"Yep."

"Oh Bill, you're the greatest," I run over and kiss him.

"Come on mom, I don't want to be late for school." Ethan protests. He's my little bookworm. Like his dad, he takes education very seriously.

"You go on out, and I'll be there in a second after I thank your father properly." I lean in to kiss him again.

"Thank me tonight, now scoot," he orders, turning me towards the door.

"Love you," I yell over my shoulder.

"You too," he says.

I start to pull out of the driveway when a man darts in front of me. Slamming on my brakes, I come to a screeching halt. Looking up, I notice the bloke is slowly walking across the drive, oblivious to the sudden noise. Looking closer, I realize the gentleman looks identical to my first husband, Andy. No, it can't be, it just can't be, he's dead. I start thinking back to that dreadful time, so many years ago.

~~~~

I frighteningly watch as the city lights disappear behind us. Looking over, I see Andy grinning. It's the same terrifying smile I see, right before he beats me.

"W..where are we going?"

"You'll see."

"You don't want to do this, Andy, you really don't."

"Do what?" He chuckles.

"Whatever your planning. L... let's just go our separate ways and be done with it, ok?"

"And let you get away with murder? I don't think so."

"How can it be murder when you're still alive?"

"So, you did try to kill me, after all."

"No Andy, that wasn't me, I swear it wasn't."

"You lying whore!" Lifting up his fist, he punches me in the face. My head flies back, smacking the glass.

"Please Andy, please don't do this."

"And miss my well-deserved revenge, I don't think so." I see his fist coming towards me, then feel my head hit the glass again.

When I wake up, I find myself lying naked on the cold, hardwood floor. Looking around, I realize that I'm in his rundown shack on the outskirts of town. Glancing up, I see rays of light shining through the large cracks in the ceiling. How did I get here? I start to recall everything that's happened.

I have to get out of here before Andy comes back. Lifting my aching body off of the floor, I hobble to the door. I feel something warm trickling down my leg, as I reach for the knob. Looking down, I see fresh blood starting to pool below me. I have to get help before it's too late. I start to walk out of the door when another thought occurs to me. How am I going to defend myself? I scan the cabin, hoping to find something that'll suffice as a weapon. Grabbing the fire poker from the dusty hearth, I shuffle out the door. Every inch of my body throbs in pain as I stumble down the path. I have to keep going, I think, pushing myself forward. Seeing a car parked off in the distance, I cautiously plod towards it. Just a little farther, I think, trudging towards the vehicle.

I'd just made it to the car when I hear someone moving around inside. Peeking in the window, I see Andy and his lover, naked on the back seat. When I look closer, I notice bruises running up and down her thin, frail body. I then see a butcher knife protruding from her neck. Oh my god, he's killed her, Andy killed that woman. I think, sliding to the ground. I need to get out of here before he kills me too. I start to stand up when a sobering thought comes to mind. What's the use of running, when I know he'll only find me again? Oh Lord, please take me, please, please take me home. I don't have the strength to fight him anymore, I don't, I just don't. I sob, laying my head on my knees.

"Look who's come to join the party," Andy slurs, stumbling towards me.

"Just when I'm fresh out of knives. I'm sure Kimberly won't mind if we borrow hers." Glancing up, I see a bloody knife in his hand.

"G.. Get away from me Andy," I say, scooting away from him.

"That's no way to treat your husband."

"I mean it, Andy, get away." I see that same evil look as he steps closer.

"You're never going to hurt anyone, ever again!" Scooping up the poker, I plunge it into his chest.

~~~~

"We're going to be late, Mom," Ethan announces from the backseat.

"I'm going, I'm going." Not seeing the strange man anywhere, I pull out of the drive.

***

I decide to buy Bill a birthday gift before I go into work. Not finding what I'm looking for, I head back towards my car. I'll try a few more places tonight. I start to unlock the door when I see a grubby man walking towards me. I nervously fumble with the keys, as he gets closer.

"Hey lady, I heard you're looking for a knife."

"How do you know that?" I ask, quickly unlocking the car.

"I overheard you talking to the antique dealer."

"So, what if I am?"

"I have a beautiful knife I'll sell you, dirt cheap," he says, reaching for his backpack. I nervously step away.

"I tried to sell it to the pawn shop, but they won't give me anything for it," he explains, handing me the weapon.

"My Grandpa bought it over fifty years ago, isn't it pretty?"

"It's very nice."

"See the blade? It's so big that you can chop up things, but small enough for delicate jobs too. The handle is made from an expensive wood called Cocobolo. It's curved to fit your hand."

"How much are you asking?"

"I was hoping for seventy, but I'll take fifty."

"Fifty bucks?"

"I know your husband will love it." I'm sure he will, I think, eyeing the gorgeous antique.

"Ok, I'll take it."

I start to pull out of the parking space when I notice the patrol car behind me. What did I do? I see the cop draw his weapon, as he climbs out of the car. Oh my god, they know!

"Step out of the vehicle nice and slow, keep your hands where I can see them," he instructs, opening the car door.

"Be advised; your suspect has a warrant out of Kent County Delaware," the dispatcher announces over the radio.

"Turn around, face the car, hands on your head." Thousands of thoughts run through my mind as my body plows into the hot metal. Turning, I see more cops pulling in beside him, I then notice his revolver a few feet from my head. Spinning around, I grab the gun out of his hands. I start to tremble as I fumble with the device.

"Put the gun down, now!" The officer warns, reaching for another weapon. Looking around, I see the cops are quickly closing in.