| Mystery and Crime Flash Fiction posted November 13, 2016 |
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Prose Potlatch Challenge--Depict Emotion
Boys Will Be Boys
by michaelcahill
The author has placed a warning on this post for violence.
The author has placed a warning on this post for sexual content.
It was second nature when she was a little girl. Jump to the branch right outside her window, shimmy over to the trunk and climb down almost like a ladder.
Well, it wasn't lady-like, but she managed. Rory Story grabbed her hand and off into the night they went. Neither heard the click of the front door lock or noticed the shadow, a safe distance behind, hugging the darkness in pursuit.
Rory and Laura reached the forest and he went to work as soon as they reached the little clearing they called their secret spot. He grabbed her, pulled her close and kissed her hard and deep. She offered no resistance and pulled him to her by the hips. Clothes began flying as the desire for each other escalated.
They began to make love. Laura was unaware of the rustling sounds in the bushes at the edges of the clearing. Rory looked up and made eye contact with Brad who was recording the event on his cell phone. Rory winked and gave a thumbs up just as a shot rang out. Rory flew off of Laura as though someone had grabbed him by the shoulders and yanked.
Laura screamed and sat upright. The bushes erupted in shadows as people began running to escape the rapid fire reports that had filled the quiet night. Bodies began flying through the air in a dance of shadows looking like deluded mental patients convinced they could fly.
Laura ran to her father who trained his automatic assault weapon on her naked body. He paused as she looked at the running students and the others dead or dying on the ground. Their eyes locked, hers, wet with tears like a deer who had been shot and didn't understand, his, the eyes of a hunter who understood the plight of the deer fully. He opened fire.
It was second nature when she was a little girl. Jump to the branch right outside her window, shimmy over to the trunk and climb down almost like a ladder.
Well, it wasn't lady-like, but she managed. Rory Story grabbed her hand and off into the night they went. Neither heard the click of the front door lock or noticed the shadow, a safe distance behind, hugging the darkness in pursuit.
Rory and Laura reached the forest and he went to work as soon as they reached the little clearing they called their secret spot. He grabbed her, pulled her close and kissed her hard and deep. She offered no resistance and pulled him to her by the hips. Clothes began flying as the desire for each other escalated.
They began to make love. Laura was unaware of the rustling sounds in the bushes at the edges of the clearing. Rory looked up and made eye contact with Brad who was recording the event on his cell phone. Rory winked and gave a thumbs up just as a shot rang out. Rory flew off of Laura as though someone had grabbed him by the shoulders and yanked.
Laura screamed and sat upright. The bushes erupted in shadows as people began running to escape the rapid fire reports that had filled the quiet night. Bodies began flying through the air in a dance of shadows looking like deluded mental patients convinced they could fly.
Laura ran to her father who trained his automatic assault weapon on her naked body. He paused as she looked at the running students and the others dead or dying on the ground. Their eyes locked, hers, wet with tears like a deer who had been shot and didn't understand, his, the eyes of a hunter who understood the plight of the deer fully. He opened fire.
 Recognized |
Prose Potlatch *** TOPIC*** 11-13
DEPICTING EMOTION
Continuing with our focus of depicting emotion, our difficult challenge today is to describe the emotions being felt by a couple through OBSERVATION ONLY.
Write a short piece as an observer, I.E. third person POV that tells us what emotions are being felt by the characters in your story. DO NOT NAME the emotions or TELL us what they are ... SHOW us through the character's actions and behavior.
Perhaps you're observing lovers on the beach as they enjoy each other's company.
Or ... two individuals involved in a traffic accident.
Or ... a man locked out of his house trying to get back in.
Remember, we don't want to HEAR what anyone says, we just want to OBSERVE what they do.
This is a tremendously difficult challenge I think. It scares me to death. HA!
SHOW DON'T TELL!
"Johnny was soaked. It was raining hard."
"Johnny pulled his hood down and a spray of water flew off. His sloshed down the street thinking he should have worn his rubber boots."
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