Humor Poetry posted July 3, 2016


Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Of Brexits, then and now

Independence Day

by Mark Valentine

Two hundred and forty years have gone by,
Since our “Brexit” was signed on the Fourth of July,
“When in the course of human events…”
Remember those lines? They kinda made sense
A long time ago, when we Yanks voted “leave”,
But, Good God man, it’s hard to conceive
That you and the EU could just call it quits -
Which leads me to ask: "Yo, whats up with you Brits?"
 
You once had an empire the sun never set on,
And now you’re a country no sane man would bet on.
You were always so sober, so solid and sensible,
But this whole Brexit thing is just incomprehensible.
Have you any idea what you guys just did?
You’ve panicked the markets, devalued the quid!
Investors are understandably skittish,
As the whole world asks: "Yo what’s up with the British?"
 
Just what in the bloody ‘ell were you thinking?
How many Smithwicks must you have been drinking?
No getting around it, however you parse this;
It’s clear that your heads were WAY up in your arses.
A boneheaded move – you just can’t ignore it
How do I know this? The Donald was for it.
It’s “loco” in Spanish, “verkakte” in Yiddish
But it all translates to: "What’s up with the British?"
 
The rest of the world once looked up to you,
You gave us the Beatles, The Stones, and The Who,
And Python, and Potter, and then Downton Abbey,
(and a playwright from Avon who wasn’t too shabby).
But now you’re a laughingstock and it’s a pity it’s
Come to the point where they’re calling you “Bridiots”.
It’s  ”gobsmacked” and “bollocks”, it makes us say “Blimey!
What in the world is up with you Limeys?"
 

I mean, what kind of country is so xenophobic,
They are willing to rally around a demagogic, simple-minded, nationalistic, unintelligent, unsophisticated, one-issue campaign, spearheaded by a candidate with bad hair...

...Oh wait, never mind.

 
Happy Independence Day. Still friends?


 


Recognized


Another from my "How many people can I offend?" series. Just kidding Brits, you know I love you guys.
Pays one point and 2 member cents.


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