| General Fiction posted May 3, 2016 | Chapters: |
...4 4 -5- 6... 
|
  |
What is this feeling?
A chapter in the book Buttons
Where's Joe's Supervisor?
by jusylee72
Joe
I received a phone call from the police department today. It doesn't make me nervous. They are contacting all former students about the meeting. Yes, I know, I work at the button factory - so do eight of the former students. That must mean they found the tapes.
Mac Murphy always had the camera running. He would tell me he was recording my journey into manhood.
"As your spiritual father, I must guide you as you begin to become a young man."
He would talk about secrets of the flesh as sacred and holy. "Keep these things between us. No one else. I will protect you."
What a joke? Protect me. He abused me. He tortured me and just when I believed I was truly his special person, he abandoned me for someone younger.
I made myself quit thinking about Mac Murphy.
I am proud of my new living room. I completely redid it. You would think I had a professional decorator do it. I especially liked the large mirror in the living room. Every day I get more and more confident about how I look. I can stare at the mirror, admire my new style in clothes, my hair, my life. I speak well at work. More and more women are noticing me.
I am looking forward to the meeting. I wonder if "Angel Mary" will be there?
At least the investigators haven't found my former supervisor yet.
You know, the guy that told me I was nothing, worthless, just some cherry picking button maker.
It was so easy to get him fired. I spent many nights after the others had left the factory.
Usually, it was me and the security officer left.
Yes, in the actual factory work went on all night, but I was a line worker and a supervisor. Early on in my work at the button factory, management noticed my designing skills.
I would submit pictures of buttons I thought would sell. I took my time. I was meticulous. I drew them so beautifully, so lovingly. I imagined the most intimate, colorful, creative buttons. I would leave them for the morning executives to admire. The company accepted five of my designs. Now, I have permission to use their designer room after hours.
My supervisor was jealous. He was sure I was after his job. He never lost a chance to put me down or try to humiliate me.
Dumbass, couldn’t you read behind my eyes. I am not someone to mess with.
It was simple to put child pornography on his computer. Father Mac Murphy taught me how to access it on the Internet when I was a child.
I waited, remember I am patient, for several weeks to make the anonymous call to the business hotline.
I made the anonymous call from the back office I purposely sounded stupid. “I think one of the computers in our factory is really messed up...." I faked a stutter,"SS s Someone may be using the computer for bad purposes. I saw naked children on it.”
I was clever, I was able to tie it to his home computer. When the warrant came for his arrest, he denied it vehemently.
He knew he was going to jail. After he got out on bail, I had to complicate things. I couldn’t risk a possible trial. It might uncover my deceptions.
I had no other choice.
I killed him. Everyone just assumed he skipped town.
He wasn’t skipping now.
He was at the bottom of an abandoned well in the city park. I sewed a huge dull beige button around his mouth giving him a look of surprise.
Oh, I also buttoned up his asshole.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Delaney and Mary
Delaney asked Mary to set up an appointment for both of them to re-interview Elizabeth. Mary's initial report was good but he told her she left out a few key questions. He tried to be nice about it.
"It's just a rookie mistake. You didn't get her to identify the others." Secretly he was relieved that Mary wasn't perfect. He was beginning to believe she really was a good detective, but he still didn't want to be outdone.
Elizabeth didn't want to meet them at the church. They met in the small diner down the street.
Elizabeth was on time. She was hesitant when she met Delaney. There was still a small part of her that didn't trust men. She softened when she saw Mary walk in.
Delaney started by giving Elizabeth a picture of her seventh-grade class.
"Can you identify these people?"
Elizabeth and Mary stood on the top row. The two of them started reminiscing about those days. Within minutes, Delaney was the one who felt out of place.
Mary and Elizabeth recognized Henry, Katherine, Joe, Melissa, Chase, and Katrina. They both had almost the same perception of each person. Henry was the class clown, Katherine was convinced the world revolved around her. Joe was quiet, Melissa painfully shy. Chase was a rebel. Katrina blissfully naive and a little daffy.
They reviewed what Mary and Elizabeth talked about the day before. Her story was told with candor and honesty.
"I am so grateful that I escaped that school. I often wonder what would have happened to me if I didn't have such wonderful parents who believed me."
She continued, "All these years of teaching have opened up my eyes to the pain in the world. When a student misbehaves, I try to find out what they need. Some just need to be seen in the world. Some truly need to be heard. Some need to be brought out of their secret worlds, worlds that are often painful and neglectful."
Mary and Elizabeth started talking about what school was like for them. Elizabeth was happy to hear that Margarite was still at the church.
"She was the one person we could trust." She smiled when she was talking about her. "She was never judgmental and so forgiving. Even though she was a nun, she would softly reprimand us about our skirts or makeup. She seemed to understand we weren't being evil, just young."
She talked about her family and her teaching.
"I'm still Catholic. I still love the church. All religions are flawed. All religions are good. I married someone outside of the church. No one at the church I go to confronts me or judges me for it. My husband adores me and our children. He's not perfect, but I am not the perfect wife either. Somehow we love that about each other. Times have changed and I hope the Catholic Faith can change with it."
By 5 p.m. Elizabeth needed to leave and get home to her family. Mary told her about the meeting on Thursday. At first, Elizabeth said no, I don't want to go anywhere near that church, but then she relented, "It's time I faced some of my demons and move on. I will be there."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joe
It was Wednesday night. Yesterday I was confident but today I started to get nervous about the meeting. Cindy was the one person I could admit it too. She knew nothing about the killings so I called and asked her to come over. We talked for awhile about my school years. It calmed me. Then Cindy said something unexpected.
"You're ready"
I didn't understand. Cindy repeated, "You're ready."
"What do you mean, I'm ready?"
"You have followed what I taught you." Cindy continued, "You can go out and find women, or even that special woman who will love you."
"I like the new hair, the new clothes. You updated your apartment. It is beautiful."
She softly took my hand and sat down on the couch.
For the first time in my life, I am beginning to feel something, some connection to life.
Why the hell would it take an over aged prostitute to make me feel special?
It was such a new experience, I didn't know how to handle it.
From the first night, Cindy had taught me patience. "You need to understand women."
Here are the rules.
- Ask her undemanding but personal questions.
- Without speaking, let her know you find her attractive.
- Find out what she needs in life.
- Learn to kiss.
- Slowly let it build.
- Let her choose when you touch her.
- Caress her.
- Give her a back rub without expecting sex.
- Treat her like an intelligent woman.
- Give her one goodnight kiss then walk away.
"Wait. Wait. Wait until she truly can no longer wait for you.
Then show her all that I have taught you."
Cindy still ended the night the same way.
"Stay on the couch next to me. Put your head on my shoulder. You are my favorite. You will always be my favorite."
And for the first time since I was a child,
I began to cry.
Joe
I received a phone call from the police department today. It doesn't make me nervous. They are contacting all former students about the meeting. Yes, I know, I work at the button factory - so do eight of the former students. That must mean they found the tapes.
Mac Murphy always had the camera running. He would tell me he was recording my journey into manhood.
"As your spiritual father, I must guide you as you begin to become a young man."
He would talk about secrets of the flesh as sacred and holy. "Keep these things between us. No one else. I will protect you."
What a joke? Protect me. He abused me. He tortured me and just when I believed I was truly his special person, he abandoned me for someone younger.
I made myself quit thinking about Mac Murphy.
I am proud of my new living room. I completely redid it. You would think I had a professional decorator do it. I especially liked the large mirror in the living room. Every day I get more and more confident about how I look. I can stare at the mirror, admire my new style in clothes, my hair, my life. I speak well at work. More and more women are noticing me.
I am looking forward to the meeting. I wonder if "Angel Mary" will be there?
At least the investigators haven't found my former supervisor yet.
I received a phone call from the police department today. It doesn't make me nervous. They are contacting all former students about the meeting. Yes, I know, I work at the button factory - so do eight of the former students. That must mean they found the tapes.
Mac Murphy always had the camera running. He would tell me he was recording my journey into manhood.
"As your spiritual father, I must guide you as you begin to become a young man."
He would talk about secrets of the flesh as sacred and holy. "Keep these things between us. No one else. I will protect you."
What a joke? Protect me. He abused me. He tortured me and just when I believed I was truly his special person, he abandoned me for someone younger.
I made myself quit thinking about Mac Murphy.
I am proud of my new living room. I completely redid it. You would think I had a professional decorator do it. I especially liked the large mirror in the living room. Every day I get more and more confident about how I look. I can stare at the mirror, admire my new style in clothes, my hair, my life. I speak well at work. More and more women are noticing me.
I am looking forward to the meeting. I wonder if "Angel Mary" will be there?
At least the investigators haven't found my former supervisor yet.
You know, the guy that told me I was nothing, worthless, just some cherry picking button maker.
It was so easy to get him fired. I spent many nights after the others had left the factory.
Usually, it was me and the security officer left.Yes, in the actual factory work went on all night, but I was a line worker and a supervisor. Early on in my work at the button factory, management noticed my designing skills.
I was clever, I was able to tie it to his home computer. When the warrant came for his arrest, he denied it vehemently.
I killed him. Everyone just assumed he skipped town.
He wasn’t skipping now.
Delaney and Mary
Delaney asked Mary to set up an appointment for both of them to re-interview Elizabeth. Mary's initial report was good but he told her she left out a few key questions. He tried to be nice about it.
"It's just a rookie mistake. You didn't get her to identify the others." Secretly he was relieved that Mary wasn't perfect. He was beginning to believe she really was a good detective, but he still didn't want to be outdone.
Elizabeth didn't want to meet them at the church. They met in the small diner down the street.
Elizabeth was on time. She was hesitant when she met Delaney. There was still a small part of her that didn't trust men. She softened when she saw Mary walk in.
Delaney started by giving Elizabeth a picture of her seventh-grade class.
"Can you identify these people?"
Elizabeth and Mary stood on the top row. The two of them started reminiscing about those days. Within minutes, Delaney was the one who felt out of place.
Mary and Elizabeth recognized Henry, Katherine, Joe, Melissa, Chase, and Katrina. They both had almost the same perception of each person. Henry was the class clown, Katherine was convinced the world revolved around her. Joe was quiet, Melissa painfully shy. Chase was a rebel. Katrina blissfully naive and a little daffy.
They reviewed what Mary and Elizabeth talked about the day before. Her story was told with candor and honesty.
"I am so grateful that I escaped that school. I often wonder what would have happened to me if I didn't have such wonderful parents who believed me."
She continued, "All these years of teaching have opened up my eyes to the pain in the world. When a student misbehaves, I try to find out what they need. Some just need to be seen in the world. Some truly need to be heard. Some need to be brought out of their secret worlds, worlds that are often painful and neglectful."
Mary and Elizabeth started talking about what school was like for them. Elizabeth was happy to hear that Margarite was still at the church.
"She was the one person we could trust." She smiled when she was talking about her. "She was never judgmental and so forgiving. Even though she was a nun, she would softly reprimand us about our skirts or makeup. She seemed to understand we weren't being evil, just young."
She talked about her family and her teaching.
"I'm still Catholic. I still love the church. All religions are flawed. All religions are good. I married someone outside of the church. No one at the church I go to confronts me or judges me for it. My husband adores me and our children. He's not perfect, but I am not the perfect wife either. Somehow we love that about each other. Times have changed and I hope the Catholic Faith can change with it."
By 5 p.m. Elizabeth needed to leave and get home to her family. Mary told her about the meeting on Thursday. At first, Elizabeth said no, I don't want to go anywhere near that church, but then she relented, "It's time I faced some of my demons and move on. I will be there."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joe
It was Wednesday night. Yesterday I was confident but today I started to get nervous about the meeting. Cindy was the one person I could admit it too. She knew nothing about the killings so I called and asked her to come over. We talked for awhile about my school years. It calmed me. Then Cindy said something unexpected.
"You're ready"
I didn't understand. Cindy repeated, "You're ready."
"What do you mean, I'm ready?"
"You have followed what I taught you." Cindy continued, "You can go out and find women, or even that special woman who will love you."
"I like the new hair, the new clothes. You updated your apartment. It is beautiful."
She softly took my hand and sat down on the couch.
For the first time in my life, I am beginning to feel something, some connection to life.
Why the hell would it take an over aged prostitute to make me feel special?
It was such a new experience, I didn't know how to handle it.
From the first night, Cindy had taught me patience. "You need to understand women."
Here are the rules.
- Ask her undemanding but personal questions.
- Without speaking, let her know you find her attractive.
- Find out what she needs in life.
- Learn to kiss.
- Slowly let it build.
- Let her choose when you touch her.
- Caress her.
- Give her a back rub without expecting sex.
- Treat her like an intelligent woman.
- Give her one goodnight kiss then walk away.
"Wait. Wait. Wait until she truly can no longer wait for you.
Then show her all that I have taught you."
Cindy still ended the night the same way.
"Stay on the couch next to me. Put your head on my shoulder. You are my favorite. You will always be my favorite."
And for the first time since I was a child,
I began to cry.
I would submit pictures of buttons I thought would sell. I took my time. I was meticulous. I drew them so beautifully, so lovingly. I imagined the most intimate, colorful, creative buttons. I would leave them for the morning executives to admire. The company accepted five of my designs. Now, I have permission to use their designer room after hours.
My supervisor was jealous. He was sure I was after his job. He never lost a chance to put me down or try to humiliate me.
Dumbass, couldn’t you read behind my eyes. I am not someone to mess with.
It was simple to put child pornography on his computer. Father Mac Murphy taught me how to access it on the Internet when I was a child.
I waited, remember I am patient, for several weeks to make the anonymous call to the business hotline.
I made the anonymous call from the back office I purposely sounded stupid. “I think one of the computers in our factory is really messed up...." I faked a stutter,"SS s Someone may be using the computer for bad purposes. I saw naked children on it.”I was clever, I was able to tie it to his home computer. When the warrant came for his arrest, he denied it vehemently.
He knew he was going to jail. After he got out on bail, I had to complicate things. I couldn’t risk a possible trial. It might uncover my deceptions.
I had no other choice.I killed him. Everyone just assumed he skipped town.
He wasn’t skipping now.
He was at the bottom of an abandoned well in the city park. I sewed a huge dull beige button around his mouth giving him a look of surprise.
Oh, I also buttoned up his asshole.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------Delaney and Mary
Delaney asked Mary to set up an appointment for both of them to re-interview Elizabeth. Mary's initial report was good but he told her she left out a few key questions. He tried to be nice about it.
"It's just a rookie mistake. You didn't get her to identify the others." Secretly he was relieved that Mary wasn't perfect. He was beginning to believe she really was a good detective, but he still didn't want to be outdone.
Elizabeth didn't want to meet them at the church. They met in the small diner down the street.
Elizabeth was on time. She was hesitant when she met Delaney. There was still a small part of her that didn't trust men. She softened when she saw Mary walk in.
Delaney started by giving Elizabeth a picture of her seventh-grade class.
"Can you identify these people?"
Elizabeth and Mary stood on the top row. The two of them started reminiscing about those days. Within minutes, Delaney was the one who felt out of place.
Mary and Elizabeth recognized Henry, Katherine, Joe, Melissa, Chase, and Katrina. They both had almost the same perception of each person. Henry was the class clown, Katherine was convinced the world revolved around her. Joe was quiet, Melissa painfully shy. Chase was a rebel. Katrina blissfully naive and a little daffy.
They reviewed what Mary and Elizabeth talked about the day before. Her story was told with candor and honesty.
"I am so grateful that I escaped that school. I often wonder what would have happened to me if I didn't have such wonderful parents who believed me."
She continued, "All these years of teaching have opened up my eyes to the pain in the world. When a student misbehaves, I try to find out what they need. Some just need to be seen in the world. Some truly need to be heard. Some need to be brought out of their secret worlds, worlds that are often painful and neglectful."
Mary and Elizabeth started talking about what school was like for them. Elizabeth was happy to hear that Margarite was still at the church.
"She was the one person we could trust." She smiled when she was talking about her. "She was never judgmental and so forgiving. Even though she was a nun, she would softly reprimand us about our skirts or makeup. She seemed to understand we weren't being evil, just young."
She talked about her family and her teaching.
"I'm still Catholic. I still love the church. All religions are flawed. All religions are good. I married someone outside of the church. No one at the church I go to confronts me or judges me for it. My husband adores me and our children. He's not perfect, but I am not the perfect wife either. Somehow we love that about each other. Times have changed and I hope the Catholic Faith can change with it."
By 5 p.m. Elizabeth needed to leave and get home to her family. Mary told her about the meeting on Thursday. At first, Elizabeth said no, I don't want to go anywhere near that church, but then she relented, "It's time I faced some of my demons and move on. I will be there."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joe
It was Wednesday night. Yesterday I was confident but today I started to get nervous about the meeting. Cindy was the one person I could admit it too. She knew nothing about the killings so I called and asked her to come over. We talked for awhile about my school years. It calmed me. Then Cindy said something unexpected.
"You're ready"
I didn't understand. Cindy repeated, "You're ready."
"What do you mean, I'm ready?"
"You have followed what I taught you." Cindy continued, "You can go out and find women, or even that special woman who will love you."
"I like the new hair, the new clothes. You updated your apartment. It is beautiful."
She softly took my hand and sat down on the couch.
For the first time in my life, I am beginning to feel something, some connection to life.
Why the hell would it take an over aged prostitute to make me feel special?
It was such a new experience, I didn't know how to handle it.
From the first night, Cindy had taught me patience. "You need to understand women."
Here are the rules.
- Ask her undemanding but personal questions.
- Without speaking, let her know you find her attractive.
- Find out what she needs in life.
- Learn to kiss.
- Slowly let it build.
- Let her choose when you touch her.
- Caress her.
- Give her a back rub without expecting sex.
- Treat her like an intelligent woman.
- Give her one goodnight kiss then walk away.
"Wait. Wait. Wait until she truly can no longer wait for you.
Then show her all that I have taught you."
Cindy still ended the night the same way.
"Stay on the couch next to me. Put your head on my shoulder. You are my favorite. You will always be my favorite."
And for the first time since I was a child,
I began to cry.
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