Previous.

I've always known that I was adopted, but in 2003, at the age of fifty one, I decided to find my mother.
After a short search, and with a lot of help I found her in Santa Cruz, California. I travelled from Scotland, where I lived at the time, and stood on her footstep. She took me in with open arms, and we hit it off right away.
She is now telling me the story how I came to be. How she met the handsome American, who was in the Merchant Marines. How they fell in love and he is called to sail to South America. He leaves with the promise to write and my mother receives a couple of letters, when she discovers that she is pregnant. She writes my father several times, but hears nothing. My grandmother keeps insisting that no letters have ever arrived.
My Mother gets a job as a nanny with a family outside Copenhagen, who are prepared to take her on despite her conditition. My mother doesn't want my grandmother to know.

Part Fifteen.

I woke early the next morning, and made my way to the bathroom to have a shower. Once back in my room I got dressed, ready to start the new day. I noticed that it was another glorious morning, as I entered the kitchen where mum was busy preparing our breakfast.

I gave her a peck on the cheek and she beamed at me.

"Morning to you, did you sleep OK?"

I smiled at her and gave her another peck.

"I sure did. I hope you did as well; and whatever you're making smells, yum! Can I pour you some coffee while I'm having one?"

Mum nodded, but didn't stop what she was doing. The table had been laid and, as I realised there was nothing for me to do, I handed mum the coffee, and went out to the terrace enjoying the early morning sun. I decided that I would suggest going down to the water front after breakfast. It would be good to get some fresh air and a bit of a walk. I took a deep breath, and imagined that I could smell the sweet scent of the sea mingled with the aroma from my coffee.

"Ulla, breakfast is ready. Could you give me a hand please?"

"But, of course, coming right up."

I hurried in, taking the plate out of mum's hand, and brought it over to the table.

"Mum, this looks delicious." And I tucked in.

"I have a suggestion, what do you think of going down to the beach after we've finished this? It's such a lovely day, and it will be great to get some fresh air."

Mum smiled at me, "I think that's a splendid idea, and an appropriate place to continue where we left off last night."

Soon we were on our way, and walked briskly beside the deep blue ocean. We didn't say a word, each deep in our own thoughts, but when we approached George's bench Mum motioned me to take a seat.

I knew that my mother was ready to continue her story.

She took my hand in hers, and gazed out over the sea with a faraway look.

"Ulla, the time was approaching fast for giving birth. I was called into the hospital where they asked me to sign papers to confirm that I agreed to give you up for adoption ... and yes, I signed, and yes, it was hard... but strangely, at the same time I felt quite detached from it all, as if it had nothing to do with me."

I squeezed mum's hand.

"Well, the time came and I gave birth to you. I think I have been suppressing the memory for so many years now that I don't have much recollection of it. What is crystal clear though, and something that has never left me, is that you were taken away immediately. I was never allowed to see you, let alone touch you. It was like my soul being ripped away.

"What they did do was to bring me yet another form to sign confirming that I was giving you away. They also asked me to name you, and I gave you the name of your grandmother which I now know is your middle name."

Mum was sobbing by now, and my own tears flowed freely. We sat there for the longest time not uttering a word, when Mum suddenly turned to me, her face streaked with tears.

"Ulla, can you ever forgive me?"

This made it the second time that my mother had asked me that question within forty eight hours.

"Mum, there is nothing to forgive. You were, and ... well, I suppose we were both victims of circumstance and the times."

We sat in silence looking at the soft surf as it hit the beach below us, so calm and so very soothing.

I turned towards her. "Mum when you are ready. Please do tell what happened next."

Mum wiped her tears and swallowed. She blew her nose, and with a certain determination, straightened her back.

"I was soon back with the family, and my healing began. They were wonderful to me;
something I will never forget. What I did want to forget was everything else. I yearned to go as far away as I could in the hope of building a new life.

"To my delight, my wish was granted soon after. The family I stayed with, told me of an opening with an American family they happened to know, who were stationed in Heidelberg, Germany. They were looking for a nanny for their two young children, and would I be prepared to take on the job? I could have jumped for joy, and agreed immediately.

"And so it was that in late August 1952, some three months after your birth, I left for Germany."

"Mum, did you know what had happened to me at all?"

"No, all the hospital told me was that when you were ready you'd be placed in an orphanage and put up for adoption"

I nodded, already knowing that. That particular stay lasted for two and a half years. But this was not the time to dwell on it.

"To make a long story short, Ulla, I thrived in my new position, and I liked being in Heidelberg. Slowly I reverted to my old self, and I even had a little contact with my mother back in Denmark by means of a few letters.

"Then something wonderful happened. It was early autumn 1953, when I met George. We fell in love, and in the spring the following year he proposed, and we agreed to marry later that same year. He'd sadly lost a brother in Korea, so he was free to return to the States, and that's what we wanted to do. We also agreed that we would marry in Denmark, one of the reasons being my mother. We set the date to be in the beginning of October 1954, and here comes a couple of those small quirks that fate plays on you."

Mum turned to me and threw me a rueful smile.

"You know what, let's go back home; the rest I want to tell you in a comfy chair out in the terrace, and a cup of coffee too."

I couldn't agree more.

To be Continued