Lucky Liam Lingersmootch

made a livin' sellin' hootch

'til last spring he screwed the pooch

and got hisself arrested


Liam got a speedy trial

all through which he wore a smile

all charges met with calm denial

ain't nothin' he 'confested'


The DA's charges soonly sank

'cause all the evidence'd been drank

so Liam has us all to thank

for the swill we each ingested