Jan tried to leave her evil husband Jeff three times before, but each time he found out where she was and he brought her back. Jan could see no way out of her dilemma. Their three children were spared the physical beatings that they witnessed their mother endure daily, but the mental torture they suffered was far worse. She needed to keep strong for her precious children.
The most frequently asked question remains: Why didn't she leave? Her close neighbours felt she could just leave; hence they did not have much time for her predicament. Even the police, who constantly see the situations these women find themselves in, lacked sympathy, they also asked the same question. They should know better, Leaving does not stop the violence it may in fact, make it more likely that she and/or her children will get killed," the real question to ask is, 'Why doesn't he let her go?'"Indeed, threatening or preparing to leave an abuser is one of the most dangerous situations women can put themselves in; Jan has already experienced this in her previous attempts to leave. Jeff had control of everything in her life, she was a prisoner and he was her captor. Jeff forced her to have sex against her will. He even choked her to the extent of her passing out, and deliberately stabbed her one time, but made sure nobody would see it. Jan was unable to sit for a few weeks. Her mobile phone was confiscated after he knew she was texting her family. Conversations with her parents on the phone was limited.. It became more and more difficult for us to talk as he monitored her every movement. Even when she brought the kids to school, she was timed, if she was not back in the house at a certain time to receive his call she could expect more of his patriarchal terrorizing.

Her situation got so bad that she had a nervous breakdown; the children were allowed to go to her parent's house for a week to supposedly give her a break. He was so caught up in himself that he really was not aware of how seriously ill Jan was. I was allowed a fifteen-minute visit, but the bold Jeff was always in earshot. When I suggested that Jan needed the doctor, he said" nonsense; she will be fine after her weeks break from the children."

When I got the opportunity I slipped a note to her, suggesting she sign herself into the mental hospital for treatment, it would also be a real break from Jeff. I promised I would help her parents in taking care of the children. She whispered to me, "Marie I have come to a decision, I am going to end this torturous life once and for all." I was not quite sure what she meant, as I have said conversations were very difficult to have.

I worried about her and wondered what she had planned. Over dinner, I mentioned to my husband what she said. I had stopped talking to him about Jan's situation, simply because he did not want her problems to bring me down. He said, "it is just another one of her idle threats. She will never leave him" I was not so sure, that look she had in her eyes was one I never saw before.

It must have been about two am when we were woken by the noise and the commotion in the street with the sound of an ambulance and the police cars. They were outside Jan's house. We quickly got dressed and ran across, but we were not allowed pass the yellow crime scene band that was surrounding their house Apparently Jan used a very sharp knife, stabbed him while he was sleeping. She was taken to a mental hospital until she was well enough to go to trial.
The judge pointed out that this was a premeditated crime. Jan was sentenced to twenty long years. Since the law doesn't protect battered women who try to leave, and the courts prosecute those who stay and kill in self-defence, Jan had felt that there was no way out, some of these women end up killing themselves, too. I am so glad that she didn't.

When it comes to women who kill their abusive husbands in self-defense, not much has changed since then or over the past 300 years. It's like a horrible, bloody diorama--the outside world moves forward, but the dynamics of this particular set of criminal circumstances don't change. "This phenomenon seems to stay the same over time.

It now looks like Jan will not be serving too long in prison, after an appeal, the judge was lenient and felt that Jan was not a threat to society and would be better with a much shorter sentence so as she could be reunited with her traumatised children who really needed her.