If you`re out on a date
And you feel second rate
He`s a louse

If you`re out at the mall
And you hear him cat call
He`s a louse

If he sets his cell phone
To have different ring tones
He`s a louse

If you ask, ``Am I fat?``
And his answer falls flat
He`s a louse

If he talks with a smile
Watching her all the while
He`s a louse

If he says, ``I`ll be home,``
But then stays out to roam
He`s a louse

If you ask, ``Where`s your ring?``
`Cause he keeps forgetting
He`s a louse

If you`re spouse is a louse
Kick him out of the house
You`ll survive